Floofviousness
Floofviousness (floofinition) – A quality of a clever animal who is both dishonest and tricks people and other animals while remaining successful and respected. Origins: Boston, MA, 1840.
In Use: “Quinn’s floofviousness is an earmark of his distinctive personality, for none are as adept at sneaking up, stealing food, getting away with it even when caught, by flashing wide, bright jade eyes at his accusers.”
In Use: “Rascal’s floofviousness earned him his nom de floof when he was a puppy discovered stealing socks, shoes, and underwear, stashing it under the bed for future uses which only he could imagine.”
Mar-A-Floofgo
Mar-A-Floofgo (floofinition) – Literally, ‘sea of floofs’, a mythical place among housefloofs where everything can be scratched, destroyed, or knocked over, and be magically repaired overnight; where treats fall from the skies like rain and animals can eat as much as they want; where cans are always being opened, bacon, steak, cheese, and chicken, are always being served, where food and water bowls are never empty, and your favorite person is always there to play or cuddle. Origins: “The Live Floof Scrolls”, a set of hundreds of scrolls of ancient floof prophecies and histories, recovered between 1946 and 1956 from Floofrum Cave, and since partially translated.
In Use: “Many people see their pet floofs moving in their sleep, limbs twitching, eyes flickering, and think that they’re ‘chasing a rabbit’ but other floofs know that the animals are often visting Mar-A-Floofgo through the floof portal.” — excerpt from “Through the Floof Portal”, 1871.
Acfloofpuncture
Acfloofpuncture (floofinition) – Floofese practice of inserting claws into skin to cure disease, relieve pain, incur relaxation, or for amusement. Origins: 1784, Flooftin.
In Use: “Snuggles was rapidly demonstrating herself as an acfloofpuncture specialist, sinking claws into every piece of human skin offered her.”
Floofgonist
Floofgonist (floofinition) – An animal involved in a struggle. Origins: 1658, France & Floofland.
In Use: “As soon as Quinn spotted a spider, he became a floofgonist in a battle to vanquish the eight-legged foe, even though said foe scared the hell out of him, causing Quinn to spring backward when the spider moved his way.”
Floof Caddy
Floof Caddy (floofinition) 1. A person designated to tend to animals’ needs and manage the animal’s appointments. Origins: 1853, Scotland.
In Use: “Greatly annoying her, Lisa discovered she was the house dog’s floof caddy, picking up his toys, tidying his bed, cleaning and refilling his food and water dishes, checking his supplies, and while she loved Elmo, she really thought someone else in the house of six should be sharing those duties.”
2. An object or space designed or used to hold food or objects made for animals.
In Use: “After seeing a garden tool caddy on sale, Martha wondered if there was a floof caddy which did a similar thing, and then had a friend make one for her, based on her specs.”
Floofologica
Floofologica (floofinition) – Inability to rememember a name or term associated with animals. Origins: 1970s United States.
In Use: “One struggle with caring for Sybil’s pets for her while Sybil was on vacation was Chloe’s floofologica. Of the three cats, two dogs, and single bird, the only one whose name she recalled was the bird’s, Amber, because her favorite drinking beverage was amber ale.”
Flooftotum
Flooftotum (floofinition) – An animal who does multiple kinds of work. Origins: Flooftin, mid-16th century.
In Use: “Chase, a new household addition, quickly revealed herself to be a flooftotum, a true floof-of-all-trades, overseeing baths, dusting, making the bed, sorting laundry, cooking, and eating, in addition to providing security by keeping the yard free of other critters and issuing warnings about interlopers.”
Sectflooferian
Sectflooferian (floofinition) – Limited to information or activities related to animals. Origins: 1819, Northeastern United States.
In Use: “After another kitten was added to the household, the patio was screened in and became a sectflooferian lounging area for the cats, dogs, and birds, with several feeding stations, beds, sofas, chairs, boxes, and artificial trees set up for the floofs’ exclusive use.”
Floofsy
Where is the fur
Where is the purr
Where is the regarding gaze
Maybe out in the sun
Somewhere having fun
Or resting in some shade
Then he arrives
Taking me by surprise
Leaping onto my lap
To tell his news
Through chirps and mews
It’s my buddy, my fur friend, my cat
Michael Seidel, writer 