Floofclone

Floofclone (floofinition) – 1. Micro-weather event of great wind and noise caused by an animal, often a dog or cat tearing around a house.

In use: “Whatever the trigger, once a day, Rebel (who was otherwise a sweet and goofy (but very smart) German Shepherd) leaped up and caused a floofclone, expending energy until fur was flying everywhere, and then collapsing with a grin.”

2. Animals who resemble one another.

In use: “The gray cat had but two white pieces, which made a white handlebar mustache on her sweet face. Everyone thought Pearl was unique until her floofclone, Spike (a street rescue), showed up.”

3. A person who resembles an animal.

In use: “He was a quiet and reserved man, long-limbed, a floofclone with feline cheeks and eyes. It made her wonder if he had a tail.”

 

The Piss Club

It’s their informal name for themselves, The Piss Club, an expression adopted from the humaverse because the floof think it’s so funny. (Do humans really think that animals are so interested in that aspect of their business? See how funny it is?)

The Piss Club’s formal name eludes translation from floofish. For humans (and the animals involved), The Piss Club is about ensuring that animals (or their allies) are present whenever humans do their business. In homes with pets, this is generally easily accomplished. Public facilities can be handled via rats, birds, flies, mice, spiders, etc.

Those places are not the problem, and it’s not about humans doing their business. It’s about verifying what they are.

No, the problem is those private places where pets don’t reside, where spiders and insects are stalked and killed, and mice are treated like vermin. Those places are the problem, because those people might be the beings that The Piss Club are supposed to on guard against. Masquerading as humans, those beings could destroy Earth; it is their stated intention, and they are here on Earth.

And, while floofs (except for dinosaurs) usually originated on other worlds (or other universes, in frequent cases) (funny how two beings, say two cats, can look so much alike and yet be from different universes) and arrived on Earth to expand their influence (and study other cultures and life forms), they’ve grown fond of those crazy creatures called humans, and would like to keep them around. Because, as the floofs have found, humans don’t exist anywhere else in any other universe (unlike dinosaurs, which seem to be everywhere), making humans very unique creatures.

That’s why The Piss Club watches.

“Jimi Floofdrix”

“Jimi Floofdrix” (floofinition) – One of greatest floof guitarists of all time, a songwriter and performer who influenced generations of floof with her playing.

In use: “A favorite Jimi Floofdrix song was “Purple Fur”, a song which was performed at every concert after its commercial release.”

Purple fur all over the house, it even covers the kitchen mouse.

Actin’ funny, but I don’t know why, ‘cuse me while I bite this guy.

Parfloofmonious

Parfloofmonious (floofinition) – Unwilling to spend money on anything except items and food meant for animals.

In use: “Yes, she made money — she was an advertising agency creative director, winner of several awards (her team had won a Clio Award once – silver, but still), but she liked recycling (have you seen her recycled art?), bought used clothing, and was parfloofmonious to a fault, buying food for animal shelters and wild horse rescues, as well as keeping her own floofagerie well stocked with the best food, toys, blankets, and beds.”

“Barks N’ Meowsies”

“Barks N’ Meowsies” (floofinition) – American hard-floof band heralding from Floof Angeles (F.A.).

In use: “Led by lead singer Axl Bark and guitarist Claws, Barks N’ Meowsies (often shortened to BNM) released their first album, Tearing Up the Toilet Paper in 1990, which included hit single songs, “Floof City” and “Fur Child O’ Mine”.”

Pissfloof

Pissfloof (floofinition) – An animal who seems perpetually irritated without apparent cause.

In use: “Always growling and hissing — just walk by him, or make a noise — and threatening the dog and other cats with claws or a nip earned him the nickname Pissfloof (although she never called him that to his whiskers). But when he was sleeping, he looked so sweet (which was why she’d originally named him Prince Charming).”

“The Power Floof”

“The Power Floof” (floofinition) – British-American superfloof group. Comprised of members of previous bands on hiatus, The Power Floof performed together for two years, releasing two albums during that period.

In use: “Although they had disbanded, The Power Floof still sometimes tour and put on concerts, arousing floofs with hits such as “Some Like A Lap”.”

Floofcists

Floofcists (floofinition) – An advocate or follower of the floofcism political philosophy or system.

In use: “Gaining more popularity, floofcists often protest that they’re misunderstood, insisting that their beliefs that animals deserve a seat at the same table of deliberations as humans isn’t just about what’s being eaten.”

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