Floofjinks (floofinition) – boisterous or rambunctious carryings-on by housepets.
In use: “Nothing like the red dot laser point to start floofjinks among the cats. Once they were started, even the dogs got into the floofjinks.”
Floofket
Floofket (floofinition) – slang for a housepet that’s capable of exerting sudden bursts of energy to accomplish incredible physical feats such as knocking people over, executing high leaps, racing faster than lightning, or snatching food from others’ hand or mouth in less than an eye-blink.
In use: “Hearing a package open in the kitchen, the cat kicked into floofket mood. Leaping from sound sleep on the sofa over the coffee table, he shot into the other room, sliding to a halt at the man’s feet with a tall tail and trilling mew.”
FNA(Floofino Nucleic Acid)
FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) (floofinition) – self-replicating fur initially shed by housepets. FNO is present on almost all clothing, furniture, and food in a home with housepets, and can also be found in hairballs and animal feces. According to reports denied by NASA, FNA was discovered on the Moon during the first manned lunar landing.
In use: “Floofcon 2019 rose to international prominence when an announcement came out that floofologists had created a home FNA (Floofino Nucleic Acid) test kit to determine specifically from which animal hairs, hairballs, and the errant turd that turns up on the floor, originates.”
h/t to Jill Dennison, Floofologist
Flooftigraphy
Flooftigraphy (floofinition) – 1. Branch of floofology devoted to studying the layers of acquisitions of toys, foods, medicines, etc., to determine which were acquired during what floofnasty. 2. Study of the layers of pet food to identify the fur’s origins.
In use: “When her friend told her that she had white fur on her coat, surprise registered; employing her flooftigraphy training, she realized it had to be from StayPuft, the marshmallow white Spritz who passed away a decade before.”
Floofnasty
Floofnasty (floofinition) – the line of pets who ruled a household.
In use: “After scanning childhood photographs his parents gave him, he was able to establish an archival album of the floofnasties of his life. With some rue, he realized that he had more photographs of his pets than of either of his ex-wives.”
Floofnesia
Floofnesia (floofinition) – a condition where housepets forget instructions, guidance, etc.
In use: “Opening the front door, they walked in and saw their Great Dane sprawled out on the sofa. He’d clearly suffered floofnesia about not being permitted on the furniture.”
Floofquest
Floofquest (floofinition) – 1. A housepet’s arduous or determined journey to achieve something or reach or capture an object, such as a red dot on the floor or a buzzing fly. 2. People’s efforts to find a new housepet. 3. Rescuer’s efforts to find and help animals.
In use: “The new young dog discovered treats after he’d arrived in his new home and came out of his shell. Within days, he began a floofquest for treats whenever a human went to the kitchen. And with those big eyes of his and his happy grin, it mostly worked.”
Floofball
Floofball (floofinition) – A broad set of games involving housepets and round objects. Balls may be used, but blueberries and peas suffice, as do lids, buttons, and pens. The rules vary, usually dependent on species. Generally, cats like to play, “Knock It Off” and dogs enjoy fetch.
In use: “She wasn’t large, but she was smart and playful, particularly enjoying floofball games. While an expert at “Knock It Off”, which she played on the bedroom dresser at one in the morning every day, she also starred at knocking down bouncing ping-pong balls, and was a champion playing fetch with plastic jingle balls.”
Floofpet
Floofpet (floofinition) – 1. A floor covering dominating by lounging, sitting, or sleeping housepets or their shed fur. 2. One animal that seems to be another animal’s personal pet.
In use: “The front door was open but it wasn’t much use trying to go that way, as the sleeping cats and dogs had created an impassable floofpet, leaving no paths for people to use.”
Michael Seidel, writer 