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Floofmentum (floofinition) – The impetus gained by an animal, especially a housepet, particularly when addressing how the animal joined a household or won someone over.
In use: “The giant parrot had to have once belonged to someone, but it’d landed in the yard and then invited itself into the house, and then, through floofmentum, came to be Lily’s best friend and constant companion.”
Double Floofex (also called dooflex in net slang) (floofinition) – Time and place where two animals are laying together, often with paws and tails wrapped around one another.
In use: “The ginger cat and Golden Retriever often napped as a double floofex on the sofa.”
Flooftweet (floofinition) – 1. Tweets about animals. 2. Tweets made by animals.
In use: “Many flooftweets (about a pet) could be flooftweets (made by a pet), as animals love secretly gaining control of people’s phones and computers and sending messages. As people never suspect animals are behind it, they often accuse others of hacking their accounts.”
Flooflantis (floofinition) – A lost continent where animals established their first settlement after arriving on Earth. Highly advanced, Flooflantis was said to exist in the Atlantic Ocean and was lost for several eons due to tectonic shifts. Humans who later learned of its existence attempted to pass it off as a lost Human civilization, as people didn’t believe that animals could be so advanced and capable.
In use: “Learning of Flooflantis through guarded conversations with pigeons, squirrels, dogs, and cats, Francis Bacon adopted the tale, changing the name to Atlantis and populating it with humans.”
Floofbreak (floofinition) – 1. Taking a holiday or vacation away from animals, especially household pets. 2. A pet or animal’s escape from a place or situation.
In use: “Carole King made national news after her Border Collie’s floofbreak because Carole searched for fifty-seven days to find her friend.”
EVSEDA (floofinition) – Acronym for Enjoyable Vortex of Sharing Every Day with Animals. EVSEDA is an expression coined to summarize the multiple pleasures and occasional frustrations experienced when living with animals, especially housepets. The vortex aspect of the acronym is to express how animals can monopolize time, attention, and energy in surprising and unexpected ways.
In use: “They had plans everyday, but EVSEDA often derailed their intentions as the cats, dogs, and goats played and chased, loved and cried, demanded attention, and struck sweet poses. Neither of them minded at all. EVSEDA enabled them to escape the world’s craziness. Both were privately certain that without EVSEDA, they’d probably be insane.”
Cubbyfloof (floofinition) – Birds, fish, and animals, particularly housepets, who enjoy hiding in small spaces.
In use: “Spock, the large goldfish, was a true cubbyfloof. He loved wriggling into the tiny castle on the aquarium’s bottom, and was so adept at it, staying still and hidden within its confines for long periods, that people looking for him often wondered if he’d escaped.”
Infloofsitive (floofinition) – Curious pet or animal who can’t resist inspecting and examining objects and sounds.
In use: “All the pets were infloofsitive, but the little miniature Border Collie, Sassy, and the elegant Russian Blue feline, Jazmine, were the two who always got up, padded into the other room to see what was going on, and then returned, notifying the rest that the end is not nigh after all.”
Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.
In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”
Floof-shaming (floofinition) – 1. Mocking an animal for their weight, body, infirmities, disabilities, shape, or color. 2. Poking fun of a person for their love and passion for animals.
In use: “Loving and owning animals sometimes leads to floof-shaming, when the owner’s relationship with their animals is called into question as signs of a mental or emotional problem.”
Michael Seidel, writer 