Tag: dogs

Floofmail

Floofmail (floofinition) 1. An animal’s attempt to influence a person’s actions via affection or threats.

In use: “Deciding to resort to floofmail, the kitten started hissing and spitting, but the woman continued washing the little feline, ridding its tiny body of ticks, fleas, dirt, and grease.”

2. Traditional or electronic mail devoted to subjects and news about animals.

In use: “As he grew more concerned about the environment, he signed up for greater numbers of newsletters about animal rescue organizations. Floofmail soon dominated his daily correspondence.”

3. Mail delivered by an animal to its people.

In use: “Every day, the retriever greeted the mail carrier, ate a treat that was offered, and then accepted and delivered it to the bedridden man, which always earned him another treat, proving floofmail’s value in the digital age.”

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Floofmencement

Floofmencement (floofinition) – An act, instance, or time of beginning an experience with, or engaging with, an animal.

In use: “With many people, floofmencement began with looking into an animal’s eyes. From in there, people grasped love, pain, sadness, hope, among other emotions, and took it on themselves to be with and help this creature.”

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Befloofed

Befloofed (floofinition) – The animal to whom one is completely and solely committed in a monofloof relationship.

In use: “She would’ve enjoyed having another rescue cat in her home, even two more, but Flash made it clear that they were befloofed and wasn’t interested in an open relationship with any other animals, or people.”

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Floofargy

Floofargy (floofinition) Animal state of indifference.

In use: “The cats heard the noises in the other room, but it was early afternoon, it didn’t seem threatening (and it was in the other room, and it didn’t sound like food might be involved), and they were comfortably napping, so…floofargy winning, the cats stretched their toes, shifted their heads, and resumed their slumber.”

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Floofrupter

Floofrupter (floofinition) – Something that interrupts an animal’s normal routines, activities, or processes.

In use: “Everything was quiet, and the cats were grooming themselves after eating, when a floofrupter in the form of a large ginger cat not seen before showed up at the glass patio door.”

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Floofarazzi

Floofarazzi  (floofinition) – Photographer who take pictures and videos of animals.

In use: “Upon acquiring new cell phones, many people become floofarazzi, taking and sharing photos of animals (especially pets) looking cute, sleeping, eating, fighting, washing, etc., whatever they saw their pet doing, posting the results on social media.”

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Jigfloof

Jigfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal who helps complete a jigsaw puzzle.

In use: “Once the pieces were put on a table, a jigfloof arrived to join the effort.”

2. An animal whose place in one’s life provides a sense of being whole.

In use: “She hadn’t been prepared for a dog, let alone a big dog, but her friend’s final words put the burden on her. He turned into a jigfloof, providing a piece to her life that she didn’t know was missing.”

Photo: Tucker, the house jigfloof, helping us put together a puzzle that came as a holiday gift. (He refused to to look up at the camera. It’s a principle thing. The first principle is that he’s a cat and doesn’t do anything asked of him. The second thing is that he can’t stand floofarazzi.)

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Golden Floof

Golden Floof (floofinition) – 1. An animal colored or shining like gold.

In use: “Sunshine bounced off the five retrievers, making them seem like golden statues sitting on the lawn in the still morning air.”

2. Annual award presented to animals representing the best in multiple categories.

In use: “Dieter was pleased and proud when his tiny terrier took home Golden Floof Awards for loudest bark in a small dog and most dramatic bark, validating his belief that Rodger’s bark (he was named after the quarterback) was different.”

3. (slang) Expression to refer to an animal that seems to do things right.

In use: “He was lucky with Penny, his copper and black calico. Unintrusive, confident, friendly, and loving, she seemed like a golden floof.

 

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Taxofloofmic

Taxofloofmic (floofinition) – Concerned with animals’ classification and categorization of matter and events.

In use: “In simple taxofloofmic processing, animals first considered the originating dimension of what they encountered, then its planet of origin, and then its relationship with humans, and how humans might want or expect the animal to normally behave.  Few of humans’ preconceptions about animals supported ideas like animals were far more advanced than humans or from other planets or dimensions. Humans were too ignorant (or narrow-minded) to understand these things, and animals were maintaining the subterfuge until humans advanced sufficiently to understand.”

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