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Noifloof (floofinition) – something obnoxious or offensive to housepets; housepet activity that is offensive to people.
In use: “The garbage truck’s weekly roar was a noifloof interruption to the popuflooftion’s idyllic routines, sending the cats and dogs into anxious hiding.”
Popuflooftion (floofinition) – all the housepets in a particular home, house, or apartment.
In use: “The ranch-style home included two adults and a popuflooftion of three cats, two dogs, and one each, bird, turtle, gecko, and hamster.”
Quadrafloofic (floofinition) – of, or relating to, four housepets.
In use: “Life with his animals was often quadrafloofic as the three dogs and single cat — the ringleader, if you must know — surrounded him, regardless of his activity. This made using the toilet particularly challenging.”
Floofgiving (floofinition) – an observance to show affectation and gratitude to housepet(s).
In use: “Every morning when he got up, again when he returned home, and again before going to bed, he showered his pets with kisses, and gave them treats, making everyday Floofgiving in his home.”
Henchfloof (floofinition) – a trusted housepet; a member of a gang of housepets.
In use: “Snuffy the cat didn’t trust any dogs except his beloved friend, Max. Max, a big fluffy-white Samoyed-Spitz mix, was Snuffy’s henchfloof, protecting the feline against anyone entering their yard.”
Philofloofnia (floofinition) – friendship to animals, or welcoming to animals, most especially housepets.
In use: “The species didn’t matter, as he extended his philofloofnia to everything encountered, from birds to bears, leading to more than a few frightening encounters.”
Floofcenary (floofinition) – housepets who are obsequious and loving for sordid advantage; a greedy housepet
In use: “The floofcenary beasts loved on him when he was home, but as soon as his wife came home, they all clambered on her for treats, love, and attention.”
Floofpricorn (floofinition) – a housepet that resembles a goat in some combination of coloring, looks, attitude, or floofsonality.
In use: “The kitten’s name was O’Reilly after the site where he was found, but once he was out among the goats, they noticed how much his brown and white fur looked like the goat’s markings, and then the little floofpricorn started jumping around like the kids, sealing the belief that the cat was a goat born in a feline’s body.”
Floofmato (floofinition) – a painting technique for mimicking an area beyond what the human eye is focusing on to what housepets such as cats, dogs, and birds see.
In use: “Her ability to blur the lines between human and animal perceptions, as her floofmato technique demonstrated, brought many to think of her part animal herself.”
Flooflong (floofinition) – a unit of distance equal to a housepet in repose; a yearning for a housepet or to be with a housepet; a housepet’s desire for something such as food or a location, such as someone’s lap; a wish to be a pet or like a housepet.
In use: “On hot days, the walk across the living room was four flooflongs as the cats all spread out on the cool hardwood floor.”
Michael Seidel, writer 