Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Machfloofnations (floofinition) – 1. A housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design intended to accomplish some end; 2. People’s scheming or crafty action to deal with a housepet.
In use: “Every time Bo saw Papi leave through the pet door, the big black cat would run over and lie down in front of it so Papi couldn’t return, part of the machfloofnations Bo employed to keep the little ginger out of the house.”
Warning the squirrels
Fantasizing about birds
A day as a floof
Flooflist (floofinition) – 1. shopping list for items required to buy for housepets. 2. A list, record, index, or advertisement of animals available for fostering, rescue, lost, or found.
In use: “Each day, she perused flooflists from regional shelters, searching for her lost dog, but had no luck. However, she fell in love with one mature, unwanted dog and decided that she would adopt him. The day after he moved in, her lost dog, Esmerelda, returned.”
Floofnik (floofinition) – an ardent supporter of pets and animals’ rights; someone who fervently loves animals.
In use: “When her children left home, she became a floofnik, spending time at shelters, fostering animals, helping animals, and raising them, eventually buying a large property to use as an animal sanctuary.”
Floofcebo (floofinition) – the psychological lift provided from the company of animals.
In use: “Girlfriend gone, fired from his job, and now it was raining. Suicidal thoughts were entertained, but his dog trotted over, sat down against his leg, and smiled up at him, tongue hanging from his mouth. The floofcebo effect brought an immediate grin. After a few moments of rubbing his dog’s head and scratching his ears, he got up, made coffee, and began making plans to find a better job.”
Floofdango (floofinition) – a foolish or useless act done by a housepet.
In use: “Among the dog’s many floofdangos was his willingness to charge the screen patio door and crash through it. They never knew the reasons behind the behavior, which is what made it a floofdango.”
Floofpectation (floofinition) – a housepet’s strong belief that something will happen; an attempt, through behavior or sounds, to make something happen.
In use: “He had a sandwich. The animals crowded around with floofpectations. In exasperation, he said, “This is banana and peanut butter guys. You won’t like it.” But with floofpectations remaining high, the cats started purring and meowing and the dog emitted a little, “Woof”. Sighing, he held the sandwich out for their inspection.”
Flooftonism (floofinition) – the philosophy of housepets, especially insofar as it addresses an absolute and eternal reality that revolves around being well-fed, napping, and having fun.
In use: “Although flooftonism doesn’t call for exclusion of others, Flash the cat* believes that other animals’ presence affects her pursuit of Floofvana.”
*With apologies to nan and Flash the cat.
Hitchfloof (floofinition) – housepet’s mode of traveling by soliciting rides.
In use: “Beginning when he was a three pound puppy recovering from his horrid early life, the husky started hitchfloofing. Whenever they got up in the morning, the dog would jump up and go to one of them. Standing up on his hind legs with his front legs reaching up for them, he demanded to be carried around the house for a few minutes. Now that they were fifty years old and he was fifty-five pounds, it was harder to accommodate him.
“But they did.”
Floofturesque (floofinition) – visually attractive housepets.
In use: “As if aware that she was floofturesque, the cat let her tail drape over the wall and struck a demure but charming pose.”
Michael Seidel, writer 