Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofswoggle (floofinition) To trick or deceive an animal. Origins: Southern United States, 17 century. First noted in print in A Human Guide to Fascinating Floofs & Their Flummoxing Fancies.
In Use: “One recent net trend shows people floofswoggling dogs with the ball trick.”
In Use: “People cutting cakes made to look like a cat in front of a cat is an example of how people entertain themselves by floofswoggling their housefloofs.”
Flooftronage (floofinition) – The support or influence of an animal honored, chosen, or named as a special protector, supporter, or guardian. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.
In Use: “Bogart’s flooftronage was apparent the first day Megan was brought home, approving her with a thorough sniffing, warming the infant with his furry body, attentive to every cry and motion she made, ready to defend her against the world and oversee her upbreaking.”
Rattlefloof (floofinition) – An animal who behaves in a flighty or silly manner. Origins: 1707, from The Book of Floofs & Other Mysteries.
In Use: “Just as the house settled for a quiet post-dinner reading and talking, the rattlefloof known as Digit galloped into the room, leaping over tables and chairs and non-stop talking before sprinting away with the sound of claws scrambling for traction on the hardwood floor.”
Gesfloofilate (floofinition) – 1. Using non-verbal language to emphasize commands or orders given to animals. Origins: circa 1809, Flooftin roots, gesfloofulatus.
In Use: “Finding the cat on the kitchen counter preparing to take some cooling bacon, Cory shouted “No, Trouble, get down,” and gesfloofilated by snapping her fingers and stamping a foot.”
2. Non-verbal motions animals employ to ask favor or help from humans.
In Use: “Stopping by Josh’s desk, Suggs gesfloofilated for attention with a wagging tail and raised ears and paw.”
Tendflooftious (floofinition) – Marked by a tendency in favor of animals. Origins: 1874, probably of Floofman origins but first noted in print in Flooflish in that same year.
In Use: “With three cats, two dogs, a bird, and several fish, his decision making was often tendflooftious, putting concern for his non-human companions above his own.
In Use: “Her love for her dogs drove a tendflooftious attitude, so all of whatever she ate was prepared with an eye to sharing with her beagle and collie.”
AF (Artificial Flooftelligence) (floofinition) 1. Machines or toys made to emulate or duplicate animal behavior or sounds. Origins:
In Use: “Some companies and people think that AF (Artificial Flooftelligence) is the way to go, giving people the impression that they have a fur friend with little barking and meowing mechanical critters, but true floof lovers recognize the soulessness of these mechanical devices.”
2. Attributing greater smarts to an animal than they actually have. Origins: Internet circa 2017.
In Use: “People who live with pets often claim their furry sweetie is the smartest ever, ascribing the critters with artificial flooftelligence like the animals are Stephen Hawkings in animal guise.”
BFF (floofinition) – Shorthand for ‘best floof friend’ or alternatively, ‘best fur friend’. Origins: Internet circa 1999.
In Use: “Pogo and Scheckter, aka the infamous OrangeBoiz, were not just brothers but BFFs, hunting, sleeping, eating, and playing together through all cycles of day and night and all seasons of weather.”
In Use: “It’s not uncommon for a human to become a BFF. That was certainly the case with Merlin, who cared not a paw for other animals, but adored his BFF, Shirl, shadowing her in all endeavors.”
Medflooftation (floofinition) – A relaxed, introspective state induced when relaxing with animals. Origins: 1970, California, USA.
In Use: “When Michael sits down to read, a floof often joins him, and he soon finds himself doing medflooftation while stroking fur.
In Use: “One of Brenda’s favorite moments after work was when she arrived home, kicked off her shoes and enjoyed medflooftation with her cats and dog on the sofa with a glass of wine, and light comedy on the tube.”
Floofx (floofinition) – 1. A box claimed by an animal for their use. Origins: 1817, England.
In Use: “After the first cardboard box was used to deliver goods in England in 1817, the recipients noticed that their cat immediately jumped into the empty box and went to sleep, and thereafter called all such boxes, floof boxes, which was later abbreviated to floofxes (plural).”
2. A social media brand accessible to animals which is strictly devoted to sharing animal related news and information.
In Use: “Using Earth’s natural energy and communications channels, animals established Floofx as a social media channel to share information about the world, such as identifying which humans to avoid, and which ones were easy touches for food and help.”
Incessant barking from the neighbor’s dog at 2:30 AM this morning dragged my attention from sleeping to “WTF is that dog barking about.”
Grabbing a flashlight, I flipped on the outdoor lights and torch and headed out of the front door to the side yard alongside the garage where the dog had been barking. Had been barking; Cow Dog, as he’s named, was now quiet. Ten feet from the side yard, a low, guttural growl in the dark ahead slowed my beat. Thinking, “I don’t really need to know what’s there,” I turned around and admired the pretty almost full moon and then trotted back into the house.
This afternoon, a neighbor from the other side approached. “Hey, heads up. Found a large pile of fresh bear scat in my backyard by my travel trailer this morning.”
“Thanks,” I replied. I put one and one together. I don’t know how accurate my math is but I think it added up to a bear in the area.
Yep, local bear tracking software reported a bear was spotted by others within half a mile of my place yesterday. Nice to live alongside wildlife, as long as we keep a respectable distance.
Michael Seidel, writer 