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Subfloofidant (floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.
In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”
BFT (floofinition) – Floof shorthand for ‘Begging for treats’.
In use: “Tucker told Papi, ‘Stand back, kid, and watch a master BFT.’ Settling before his human, Tucker began with the big eyes, then magnified it into an intense gaze. As his human continued ignoring him, Tucker added a loud, Merow,’ and tacked on a purr like an idling diesel engine.”
Polyfloofmy (floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Floofkrieg (floofinition) A fast and sudden animal attack.
In use: “Many people with young animals such as kittens and puppies are subjected to floofkriegs on their persons as the young floofs practice stalking and hunting to develop their bodies and improve their coordination.”
Floofsticate (floofinition) – To live among animals or with animals, or to live a life involving animals. Not to be confused with floofticate. Related: rusticate.
In use: “The COVID-19 pandemic saw a surge in pet ownership as more humans chose to floofsticate with animals, a recognition of the warmth, comfort, and friendship that animals offer.”
Floofstress (floofinition) – 1. Force or influence caused by an animal.
In use: “Joan and Carrie would love to travel more but the floofstress brought on by adopting several special needs animals kept them at home.”
2. Pressure or anxiety brought on by an animal.
In use: “Whenever he’d not seen his cats for an hour, he went and found them, assuring himself that they were okay, alleviating the floofstress which he felt.”
3. Female animal who has power, authority, or ownership.
In use: “Moose outweighed his mother by two to one but she was the house floofstress, and he obeyed her just like the other ‘normal’ sized felines and dogs.”
Floof Squared (floofinition) – Economic principle that costs involving animals will be exponentially larger than reasonably anticipated.
In use: “Knowing of the floof squared rule, Ron expected pet food to be expected, but with recent inflation, the costs of feeding his cats and dog were through the roof.”
Sopfloofrific (floofinition) – An animal’s influence on making people sleep.
In use: “His dog and cat found him whenever he sat to read and climbed onto his lap, which became a sopfloofrific prelude to a nap.”
Floofvision (floofinition) – 1. An added layer of telecommunications visible and audible to animals but beyond human comprehension.
In use: “Boo and Oliver enjoy sitting by the television, watching floofvision, which brings them up-to-date infloofmation about animals, new floofnology, and general enterfloofment.”
2. Formally, an organization founded by a woman to end animal abuse.
In use: “Raven tells everyone everywhere, whomever and wherever she meets them, about Floofvision and her goal of a world free of animal abuse. Humans are starting to pay attention, but the animals are beginning to flock toward her as a new Floofsiah.”
Michael Seidel, writer 