Tag: dog humor

Floofbit (2)

Floofbit (floofinition) – An animal who seems to have a job to make people get up and move around. Origins: 2007, Ohio, United States, Facebook

In Use: “When her son suggested that Karla needed a Fitbit to remind her to move, she pointed to her young dogs and replied, ‘Don’t worry, I got Crockett and Tubbs to keep me moving.’ As if that was a cue, Tubbs sprang up and started barking and racing around, which naturally drew Crockett into the vortex, and made Karla get up and go to the back door, yelling, ‘You two take that into the backyard.'”

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Nonfloofpete Agreement

Nonfloofpete Agreement (floofinition) Agreement between animals not to fight and to cooperate when socializing or interacting with humans. Origins: 18th Century Floofgress Instruments for Successful Living Among Humans (ISLAH).

In Use: “Humans don’t know about nonfloofpete agreements and are suprised when the cats and dogs and other creatures sleep and play together, sharing food, treats, and lap time.”

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Floofsumptive

Floofsumptive (floofinition) – 1. Descriptor for an animal’s approach who assumes they are the apex resident in a household. First noted use circa 1970, New York, USA.

In Use: “Closed doors impinged Queen Champ’s floofsumptive foundation that something must be happening on the other side. This was her empire and announced her displeasure with loud caterwauling and scratching.”

2. An animal which takes for granted that they are authorized to go anywhere, do anything, and eat everything. Origins: 1740 colonial America.

In Use: “As soon as food was set down, Sheldon made a presumptive claim with his chompers, no matter the food group.”

3. A belief that animal’s movements, activities, or behavior is expected and predictable. Origins: AOL, late 1990s.

In Use: “Following a floofsumptive bias, Kelly expected Hannibal to trot out and greet her, but the little pup was nowhere in sight, inducing floofxiety in her that something had happened to him.”

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Floof-adjacent

Floof-adjacent (floofinition) – Compliment among floofs that someone or something is almost as good as an animal. Origins: Early nineteenth century United States, esp. New England.

In Use: “The cats declared of their person, Jill, ‘The way she respects our needs, honors our rights, and keeps us well-groomed and fed, she’s as floof-adjacent as we can find among humans, so I say we keep her.'”

Recent Use: “The big ol’ house dog, Charleston, told the new foster kittens, ‘Look here, Richard is about as floof-adjacent as you’ll find. Once you have more knowlege about the people world, you’ll come to realize how fortunate you are.'”

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Filopolus

Filopolus (floofinition) – An animal who loves people. Origins: early 1900s, USA

In Use: “Eva was a popular filopolus, visiting with every and any person she encountered, but she was a misfloofynist when it came to animals.”

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Flooping

Flooping (floofinition) – To follow an animal or to repeatedly circle back to an animal to check on its health or to play with it.

In use: “He was supposed to leae for work at 7, but his dog was sick, so he called in sick, staying home and flooping back throughout the morning to his pet to see how she was doing.”

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