Tag: Changes

A Dad Leak Dream

There was a leak in the bathroom.

A thick tube of clear water spurted out of the wall. White tiles had been removed above the tub about five feet up. Oh, dear, what a mess, with some black fuzzy thing happening in the opening.

A trio of engineers, casually dressed, of different styles, heights, ages, one woman, two men, came in on behalf of the townhouse association. Because this wasn’t unique to this townhouse. It’d happened throughout the complex. This trio was going unit to unit to assess and strategize. I was just watching them from back by the door, listening as they ignored me. The spoke of how to fix it, what must be done.

Leaving, I headed across a common through sunshine to my own townhouse because, hey, that had been my father’s place, which slightly changed everything. He wasn’t there to look after it, so I was acting on his behalf.

I entered my own townhouse where the same problem existed but seemed to be on a much smaller scale. Some wall had been removed from the bathroom to the right which didn’t seem to have anything to do with the leak. I didn’t understand what that was about but I knew where to go for explanation.

I sought that women and this little rotund blonde explained something that kind of made sense and eased my anxieties. Going off again, I found I had a broken arm. No, not broken, just not working right. I’d been advised to keep it in a sling. I didn’t have a sling, so I fashioned one, and then modified it again and again, decided this was a good place to keep things, like my wallet, keys, and glasses.

So I tucked them in but then needed more material, so I added other things, and reshaped it, and reshaped it. People were going past as I did this and I turned away, trying to keep things private.

I decided to call my stepmother to tell her about Dad’s townhouse. Then I realized that Dad was dead and this was a dream. That I had actually a dream in a dream, and that the townhouse with the plumbing problem wasn’t real.

But I called my stepmother. I said, “I was thinking about Dad because it’s his birthday.” Then I realized, that’s not right. I said, “No, because it was my birthday.”

She was talking but it came to me, this call isn’t happening; it’s also a dream.

I awoke.

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Medical Update

Received my biopsy results the other day and saw my urologist today.

The TURBT procedure seemed to get all of the cancer. Didn’t get into the muscle tissue, blood, or connective tissue.

That’s all good news.

My bladder seems to be healing well, based on observations. No pain, clearer urine.

The next steps begin in August, maybe September. After my bladder has healed from its surgery, we’ll begin a series of BCG washes. This is an instillation of tuberculosis bacilli into the bladder. This trains the immune system to attack the disease. It then also attacks any cancer cells which dare to show. I’ll go through that once a week for four to six weeks. There’s a less than 1% chance that I’ll develop TB from it.

CT scans with contrast will follow after the BCG wash protocol to see what shows in my bladder. Cystoscopy if or as necessary to see what’s in there. Three-year follow up program of checking and washes.

First steps have been taken. While it’s all positive to date, it won’t be done for a while. Meanwhile, I’m energetic. In good spirits. Overweight — got to eat less and exercise more, but I can’t exercise properly for two more weeks — but optimistic.

Thanks for all the support. I’ll try to reciprocate to the best I can.

Cheers

15

A Gun & Zombie Dream

My wife and I and others were being chased by zombies. Fighting them off, we’d taken refuge in a large building. Seemed like some manner of old mansion, maybe. Don’t know.

During the fight, I’d managed to arm myself with two weapons. One was a large but old revolver. Basically, a six-shooter. The other was a modern 9mm handgun, black and cold.

I kept one in each hand as I met the new people, survivors like us. It was chaotic. I was edgy, tense, a little angry. People seemed to be doing stupid things, leaving doors and windows open. I kept going around, closing these things, looking for food, telling others to be careful.

They didn’t seem to be responding well to my comments. They weren’t angry or anything but seemingly oblivious. As I processed that, I concluded that I needed to establish a safe little place for me and my wife in that larger area, and went up some wooden stairs in such of such a place.

I kept my weapons with me. At one point, though, talking with another, I noticed that the revolver had some pink material. Opening the cylinder, I found that each round had the striking end covered in a bright pink wad of cloth, a safety thing I concluded, with some alarm. If I’d tried using that weapon, it probably wouldn’t have fired.

Meanwhile, I wondered, was the 9mm okay, or did it have something like that? But I’d seen the magazine and I thought I’d fired it once without problem, so I thought it was okay.

The dream ended with me trying to remove the pink wadding from the revolving.

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Crime & Plumbing Dream

The dream found me at home – not my real-life place – with my wife. I awoke to discover that she had hired people to fix the plumbing. Thick, dark dust filled the air from the work. Three men were going all through the house, looking at the pipes and changing things.

I was floored that my wife had apparently decided to do that without consulting me. “First that I’ve heard about it,” I huffed before going off.

Coming back later, the men were in another part of the house. The three were all older, with short hair, white skin, and wore coveralls. Weirdly, usually they stayed clustering, staring at the pipes and talking about what they were going to do.

I came across my wife in another room. Wrench in hand, she was working herself on plumbing in a bathtub. I was like, “What the hell?”

I noticed that she was working on the faucet and spigots but she was on the side of the tub and had the floor torn up; but the tub still had its faucet and spigots attached on the end. I wondered, is she putting in new ones on the side to make it easier for her? Or putting in a new tub? I didn’t.

Going outside, I saw that she had people working in the garden and was building something new out there. That worried me. I knew that she had evidence of crimes committed buried there. (I was thinking that it was a murder but I didn’t seem sure.) I went back and told her that I didn’t think that was a smart decision but she was busy with the pipes and didn’t respond.

Returning outside, I saw a large rock being moved; I knew that was crucial evidence. With a sigh, I also saw that a police detective I’d seen earlier was watching and saw the rock. A little later, the police began digging up the area.

I thought, my wife is going to be going away, because her DNA is all over that. That disappointed and saddened me but I also thought, I should be okay because my DNA won’t be there.

Dream end

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Saturday’s Wandering Thoughts

A physical therapist showed up at my sister’s house. My sister — a physical therapist — was surprised, because the therapist was there for Mom.

Sis explained that Mom was living at Heritage Grove now. The therapist replied, “This is the address I have for her.”

Mom’s been at HG since late February.

It’s one of those things that make you go, hmmmmmm, and wonder about record-keeping.

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Another Wandering Thought

My sister showed a photo of my nieces and nephews from fourteen years ago.

Some voice in me said, “Wow, that was fourteen years ago.”

Another voice of mine said, “Wow, that was just fourteen years ago.”

A third voice of mind said, “That was fourteen years ago?”

A fourth voice observed, “Look how they’ve grown and changed in fourteen years.”

If it takes a village, I might be okay. I got one thriving in my head.

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Tuesday’s Theme Music – Helpless

Ashland, southern Oregon — Tuesday, June 23, 2026.

Hot, mid 90s today, copy of yesterday for our valley.

We cope without using the A/C. I like them in cars and businesses, don’t like using them at home. At night, I cool-drench the house and that usually carries us through the day.

Smoke was in the air last night when I popped the door open. Not strong but I definitely smelled it. NextDoor had the answer: a controlled burn in the town next door. They have orchards. Blight had struck. To contain the blight and stop its spread, they cut off the affected limbs and burned them.

People were worried, though. We’re in a red flag situation. Sure, it was a controlled burn, but controlled burns can get out of hand.

Shows the complexity of the entire matter — drought, fire, trees, economy — on one succinct scenario.

At about 6, my wife went into the garage for something and returned. “I want to leave a door open and let hot air. Warm the house. It’s so cold in here.”

It was 92 outside. In the house at that point, it was 79.

She’s been having greater issues with staying warm. More issues with moving. Strength challenges. So freaking depressing to witness. Stoically bearing it, she complains little. Rocks to stand. Grunts with effort. Hangs on to balance herself.

We went to the growers market this morning. Bought baked goods for a friend and took them to him. He has Parkinsons and cancer. His wife is away on a trip with her sister to Alaska. The woman needed it.

Our friend is doing well. The housekeeper was in, finishing. Said she’d be back at 5. Meanwhile, friends are delivering pizza for his lunch at 2 PM.

It takes a community to cope with these things.

I had a pre-op telephone appointment for my bladder cancer on Thursday. Usual stuff about times, bathing with Hibiclens, drinking fluids, eating, where we’re going, where to park, how long it’ll take.

My wife asked, “What about afterward? What’d they say about that?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. This was pre-ops.”

“They’re all so compartmentalized,” she snapped.

I can’t argue that. It’s very true.

My wife and I chatted about the news. She had just read about Trump’s claim that the economy is the ‘opposite of a recession’.

Your Trump Quote of the Day:

This seems like another part of Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL!, an attempt to distract us from what’s really going on.

Anyone living outside of a millionaire’s bubble will probably take issue with Trump’s claims. People are dealing with rising costs associated with energy, housing, food, consumer goods, and healthcare. Trump seems to believe that making these claims will make them true or enough people will simply go along with him on his magic thinking ride.

For the record, for example, oil prices aren’t even down to the levels they were when Trump took office.

Brent crude oil – Price – Chart – Historical Data – News

Beyond Trump’s fractured economic reality, people are awakening to the MOU that ended Trump’s Iran blunder that cost lives and money. They’re basically responding, WTF?

Besides the ongoing saga of the Epstein ballroom construction, we’re also dealing with Algaegate. Trump is straining to point the finger at someone else for the clear disaster that it’s become. It’s such ugly optics, but it perfectly summarizes Trump’s flawed grip on truth, facts, and history.

Today’s music is “Helpless” by Neil Young. Reading the news on some days just engenders that frustration and helplessness, a sense of ‘go do something.’ Protest, scream, call people, write things. Some mornings, I’m a stick stuck in the mud. But I drink my coffee, write out some of my anger. Suck in some air. Count my advantages. Move on for a short while, at least.

“Helpless” is performed by Neil and The Band. Hope you find it worthwhile to hear and watch.

Hope you’re feeling good, doing well, and looking forward to better days.

Cheers

5

Tuesday’s Theme Music — The Man

Ashland, southern Oregon — Tuesday, June 16, 2026.

95 will be today’s high. Blue sky, sunshine, 71 F right now.

We’re in a mini-limbo with Mom’s house sale. One set of inspections is done, and it’s not bad. Repairs and issues are underway. Some are due to the house’s age. For instance, back in the day, a window in the bathroom sufficed; fans weren’t needed. Now, with the house changing hands, code stipulates bathroom fans. And the dryer duct came undone. Stuff like that.

I used to tease Mom about her old washer and dryer. Both were ‘low value’ purchases. Didn’t match: Whirlpool and GE. She bought the dryer shortly after moving in back in ’95. The house had a washer but then needed to be replaced around ’99. But those two pieces have chugged along. Same with the old gas range. We siblings pitched together to buy her a portable dishwasher from Sears one Mother’s Day in the late nineties. My brother-in-laws installed it as a permanent piece in the early 00s. Still works as well.

Mom’s house is full of things that were old but worked well. She always took care of it all.

My dental appointments didn’t go well yesterday. These are about surgical dental implants. I had the surgery a year ago. The site that remains had a cyst removed and needed more time to recover. Well, yesterday’s ‘click tests’ with that tiny torque wrench show that it needs more time. So the next steps — installing the implant — were pushed back six weeks.

Ironically, I’d changed the implant date, June 25, to July, because it clashed with my scheduled bladder surgery. Oh, well.

It feels like D.C. and Trump has entered a sort of stasis. That’s my opinion from ‘out here’. One, Trump’s war with Iran is ‘over’. We’re all digesting its consequences. Two, Trump is definitely physically and mentally run down. I don’t give a damn about official reports. We can see it in whenever he appears in public, and can read it when he sends out midnight texts.

Those texts remind me of my mother’s bout with sundowner syndrome, BTW. She was also sending them in the middle of the night and they also made little sense.

The economy and systems are all also giving the signals about what Trump’s unchecked actions have wrought. Additionally, the judicial system is pushing back. Many Trump initiatives have become a tug of war in courts, things like his ICE deportation policies, ICE killing of US citizens, renaming the Kennedy Center, building the Epstein ballroom, the tariffs…it’s a long list.

The trends are clear. Trump acts fast, asserting permission with arrogance. Shock travels the affected. Reactions set in. Legal actions are raised against Trump. Courts rule. Trump often loses but appeals decisions, frequently changing legal tactics.

All of that is Operation Epic LOOK — SQUIRREL! to cover his enormous stealing, his insider stock trading, his underhanded grifting.

It’s all slowly catching up, leading to the mid-term confrontations. I’m sure Trump rushed to a deal now because he’s trying to save face and gain back support before the mid-terms. I’m sure he believes he can gain some support with Freedom 250 and the Great American State Fair, and the pageantry planned for that.

The problem with his plan remains: he is Trump. He’ll make it about himself.

He is Trump. He refuses to understand that his policies have failed, and that’s why voters are turning against him.

So, he is Trump. He will lash out.

Our question remains, how?

Today’s song ends up being “The Man” by The Killers.

Sample Lyrics:

Don’t need no advice
I got a plan
I know the direction
The lay of the land
I know the score like the back of my hand
Them other boys
I don’t give a damn

I’m the man, come round
No-no-nothing can break, no-nothing can break me down
I’m the man, come round and
No-no-nothing can break, you can’t break me down

The 2017 song was written about the POV that you feel invincible when you’re young. That makes sense.

The song came to the morning mental music stream when I was thinking about Trump and the morning news. And I realized that the song is apt for the day because a large part of Trump is his immaturity. He remains a person who thinks himself invincible.

I hope you have an excellent day, full of peace and grace, no matter the weather or season wherever you are.

Cheers

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