Floofumnavigate(floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s
In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”
In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”
2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.
In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”
In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”
A light rain falls in some Ashlandia neighborhoods, where the traffic is light and the pace is slow. Petrichor’s smells ease into my nose and raise my spirits. Love that smell. Reminds of everything and everywhere and nothing and nowhere. Goes well with my black coffee’s bright, sharp scent.
Glad to report that Tucker continues his comeback. He’s gained weight and energy, and has become more talkative.
That all took Papi by surprise. Unaware of Tucker’s improving health and increasing energy, Papi pranced up to Tucker and indulged in a sniff.
Whipping around like a startled cougar, Tucker snapped out a left paw, just missing Papi as the latter jumped back, snapping, “Meowww!” I think “Meowww” meant, “Whoa, dude, chill, I was just smelling you. Didn’t mean to offend you. My bad.”
Floofish is an economical language.
Today’s music comes by way of a song. Sounds silly but listen up. As I went about my morning, I was suddenly hearing “There Is Nothin’ Like A Dame” from the musical, South Pacific, in my morning mental music stream (Trademark staged).
Hearing it, I queried of The Neurons why that song was playing. Those cheeky monkeys responded with The Eagles singing, “I Can’t Tell You Why” from 1979.
So that’s where I’m at. Stay pos, be strong, lean forward, and Vote Blue in 2024. Here’s the music. Cheers
Floofsize(floofinition) – To have something upended or knocked over by an animal. Origins: late 1890s, first noted in Mississippi.
In Use: “Karol the Terrorcat walked along the dresser, leaving floofsized bottles and items on the floor in her wake.”
In Use: “Galumpfh, originally named Wilson by the family’s youngest member, often floofsized furniture when he galloped through the house, shaking the floor with his floofnormous thunderpaws.”
Floofraiser(floofinition) – Actions, sounds, or activities which will draw an animal’s attention or make them move. Origins: Mid 1960s, modern Floofish, first reported use in western Pennsylvania.
In Use: “Many people quickly find that cans opening or a kibble rattle are sure floofraisers, with animals galloping to the source as soon as they hear the sound.”
In Use: “The vacuum cleaner was a floofraiser for Barney, causing the big dog to hustle to another room floof haste, but Stormy merely yawned and dared the roaring machine to come closer to her.”
Infloofuate(floofinition) – Behavior or attitude by or toward an animal filled marked by or filled with excessive, foolish, or extravagant admiration, love, or affection.
In Use: “Making biscuits whenever she jumped on Brenda’s lap, following her around and engaging in everything that Brenda did were just a few of the signs that Crystal was infloofuated wth Brenda.”
In Use: “Demonstrating how infloofuated she was with her new floof buddies, Carla built a huge catio and bought her boys a fancy litter box and several trees and beds.”
Hyfloofbole(floofinition) – Exaggerated or dramatic animal expressions or noises to demonstrate disappointment, outrage, or dismay. Origins: 2000, United States, via Floofernet.
In Use: “Many folks owned by animals are familiar with hyfloofbole their beloved floofies employ to highlight their dire situations, such as hitting an empty food bowl while whining, whimpering, or mewing.”
Floofrational(floofinition) Having an understanding or reasonable insight into animal thinking. Origins: Early 1920s western Pennsylvania.
In Use: “Many people believe they’re floofrational but often can’t explain why animals like or choose specific people.”
In Use: “Although Emi thought she understood her dog after living with him for three years, sometimes he began barking for no reason and wouldn’t stop, undermining her floofrational thinking.”
Monufloofal(floofinition)1. A huge, or ginormous (relative to its species) animal. Origins: late twentieth century Internet.
In Use: “Col Sanders (named for where he was found and rescued but often called Jumbo) was monufloofal, and when he slept with people, he seemed to double in size, rendering laps numb, and taking up all the space wherever he slumbered.”
2. A highly significant or important animal. Origins: early twenty-first century world wide web.
In Use: “Ol’ Jax was an undersized Jack Russell to most people, but Ol’ Jax was a monufloofal aspect of the homeless vet’s street existence.”
May continues is march. Today is the month’s 17th day.
It’s Friday. Clouds have won the morning, but they’re a modest whipped cream overlay. 63 F out there, 70 F is today’s top. 70 F isn’t bad for me, although it always comes to me as ‘not quite hot, and not quite cold’. I feel like Goldilocks writing that.
I miss my cats, Tucker and Papi. Note: I also miss my wife but I get to chat on the phone with her every day. She presents updates: “It’s nice outside, so they’re out there sleeping somewhere.” Not much color there, but then, but they’re low-key floofies. My wife does tell me that Tucker sleeps with her every night. Papi, of course, wants out. I’ll be happy to be back with them.
The Neurons have plugged a Sly Fox song into the morning mental music stream (Trademark reflected). The group came out with “Let’s Go All the Way” in 1985. As an 1980s product, it offers an eclectic and intriguing mix of techno sounds with mellow, laid-back vocals.
What’s interesting about this song is that many perceived it as a tune about sex. The truth is, it’s about politics. Here’s the initial verse:
Sitting with the thinker Trying to work it out It’s a traffic jam of the brain Makes you wanna scream and shout Presidential party No one wants to dance Looking for a new star To put you in a trance
And the chorus is about a better way:
Let’s go all the way We need heaven on Earth today Aah-aah-aah We can make a better way Let’s go all the way Go all the way Let’s go all the way Yeah
I think The Neurons’ choice is pitch-perfect. We have that guy, Trump, a Bible Belt darling with some. He practices as they preach: hate and name-calling is his daily delivery, for, as the Bible orders, “Hate thy political opponent with all the anger on Earth.” Their Bible seems to also state, “Treat women like they have no rights. Grab by the pussy and move like a bitch. Cheat on thy wives and lust after thy daughter.”
Also in their Bible is the guidance about morals and ethics: “Lie and cheat to get ahead, for more money is key to your place in Heaven.”
So, my fellow Democrats, let’s go all the way. Vote out those MAGA Republicans and make it a better day.
Coffee has made its way to me. Stay positive, be strong, and Vote Blue in 2024. Then let’s work on restoring voting rights and women’s rights, and rights for everyone everywhere, and act like a compassionate nation that immigrants helped build, instead of treating them like garbage, as the MAGA Bible apparently directs.
Michael Seidel, writer 