Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Incatation (catfinition) – spells and verbal charms used to call felines; many people often mistakenly think they’re calling a cat’s name, but cats don’t share their true names with other species.
In use: “Calling, “Here kitty, kitty,” he hoped the incatation would work on Ashley. Darkness and snow were falling, and he wanted her home safe and warm.”
Precatnitive (catfinition) – the sense that you and a cat knew each other before you met.
In use: “As soon as he saw the ginger tabby, a precatnitive impression asserted itself. The cat left the corner where it cowered and ran to him.”
Catchemy (catfinition) – a loosely defined speculative philosophy concerned principally with understanding felines and their mysterious ways.
In use: “Watching Flash watching her, she listened to the cat’s purr and practiced her catchemy, saying softly, “What are you thinking, my furry friend?” Flash closed her eyes in response.
Floofryu (catfinition) – short poetry form, similar in structure to haiku: three lines, with twenty-three syllables. Floofryus deal with the foibles of cats, also known as floofs.
In use:
Dancing with paws and claws extended
mouth open and teeth exposed
she battles phantom adversaries
Clawthered (catfinition) – caught by a cat hanging on with its claws.
In use: “He needed to get up and leave, but a small tabby was clawthered to his jacket, and he couldn’t get released.”
Flooftable (catfinition) – the schedule by which cats complete their activities. Flooftable is often misconstrued as being the same as the Periodic Table of Floofs; the two expressions are not interchangeable.
In use: Abiding by the flooftable, the cat arose at 3:30 A.M. and nuzzled the sleeping people. They swatted him away and covered their heads. At 3:40, he batted the mouse across the floor and chased it, and then jumped up on the dresser and knocked everything off that he could. At 3:50, he demanded to be let out of the house. 4:15 found him demanding to be let into the house. At 4:30, he insisted that he needed to leave the house again. The angry people obliged him, with threats, which saddened him.
Sitting down, he washed his face to console himself. He didn’t want to do these things (he’d rather be sleeping, of which he was very fond), but it was the flooftable, and the flooftable needed to be observed and respected, or catnarchy would reign.
So said the Great Floof, who crafted a specific flooftable for every cat in the world. He wished people could understand that.
An idea was born.
Butt and Tail (catfinition) – a medieval cat expression for all the way.
In use: “As the kittens dawdled, the mother meowed back at them, “Let’s go, butt and tail, butt and tail. Get in the box.”
Floofomachy (catfinition) – a disagreement or dispute about or over cats.
In use: “The kittens at the adoption fair were the epicenter of floofomachy as children and families all wanted to take them home.”
Floofoolery (catfinition) – foolish cat behavior; playing silly games with a cat. Tomfloofoolery is used to designate foolish male cat behavior, or playing silly games with a tom cat.
In use: “From the sounds at midnight, it seemed like there was a lot of floofoolery going on in the other room.”
Afterfloof (catfinition) – the fur and detritus that remains after a cat leaves a space.
In use: “Afterfloof of fur, a piece of bark mulch, and a leaf on the sofa marked where Tucker had slumbered before the garbage truck outside had sent him hunting for sanctuary.”
Michael Seidel, writer 