Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
I know some cats that might disagree with this bumper sticker’s sentiment. Then again, they probably won’t disagree, because they would need to acknowledge that they failed. Everyone knows that cats never admit that they failed. They always act cool, and claim, “Yeah, I meant to do that. I meant to miss that window sill. Fooled you, didn’t I?”
Catpulsion (catfinition) – a feline’s irresistible activity or behavior, often impelled by an urgent or obsessive need to act.
In use: “Whenever the bathroom door closed, Ittybitty catpulsion to supervise her humans kicked in, and she scratched frantically at the door to get in.”
Exfloofagant (catfinition) – something involving cats that exceeds the bounds of reason and necessity.
In use: “Michael was exfloofagant, posting manufactured words about cats every day.”
Door Scratch Fever (DSF) (catfinition) – a nocturnal feline affliction characterized by a cat’s need to incessantly scratch on doors. Some cats suffer chronic DSF while others may come down with twelve and twenty-four hour variations. There is no known treatment.
In use: “Spring struck, and Quinn came down with a case of door scratch fever, wiping out any deep sleep for us.”
Floofogenic (catfinition) – produced or created by cats; a cat that’s suitable for photographing because of their visual appeal.
In use: “The floofogenic odors were strong testimony that more than one feline resided here.”
Floofair (catfinition) – Internet slang for a cat fart.
In use: “As the big cat settled onto Michael’s lap, a floofair’s hydrogen sulfide presence snaked up his nostrils.”
Flooftapose (cafinition) – cats sitting or laying in close order or proximity to one another.
In use: “Flooftaposed side by side by side, the cats sat on the sofa, watching out the windows at things I could not see.”
Floofcoholic (catfinition) – excessive or compulsive love of cats and anything feline.
In use: “He was a floofcoholic, visiting with cats that he met on the streets, sleeping with cats, and asserting their welfare over that of his family and self.”
My cats were singing this to me last night and this morning. Okay, it may have only seemed like they were singing (or humming, or purring) it because everywhere I went, and everything I did, they were watching me.
Here are The Police with Sting’s composition, “Every Breath You Take.”
Alfloofsco (catfinition) – a cat in the open air.
In use: “She was a queen of habits and preferred alfloofsco dining in the patio’s morning sun.”
Michael Seidel, writer 