With four cats, I have several bowls of kibble out and available, yet the cats will hunt me down to tell me, “I’m hungry. What do we have to eat?”
What they really mean is, “Give me a treat.”
Inflooftation
Inflooftation (catfinition) – an implicit or implied act that cats interpret as an invitation for them to join the activity.
In use: “He sat down to read a novel, an inflooftation for all of the home’s cats to come get on his lap.”
Floofbit
Floofbit (catfinition) – a biological quantum component that helps cats track their essential activities. A floofbit reminds a cat when it needs to nap, and how long, along with when they should be active and energetic. Many cats put off being energetic until their floofbit warns them that they won’t meet their activity goal. This usually results in a sudden floofzy of dashing around with a somewhat crazy glint in their eyes.
In use: “Tucker’s floofbit informed him that he needed to nap to meet his daily requirements, so he immediately put his head down and closed his eyes, forcing everyone to walk around him.”
Catalect
Catalect (catfinition) – feline dialect. Cats develop unique catalects to communicate with the cats and people closest to them. These catalects often vary from house to house. Some evidence suggest that broader catalects exist by breed.
In use: “Mrrp in our household catalect is a greeting similar to “hello” that the felines in our household use to greet their humans.”
Pourpet
Pourpet (catfinition) – a floof-word that seems to translate to mean, “For me?”
In Use: “He put a bowl of food down in front of the long-haired tabby. Looking at it, the cat said, “Pourpet?” Then the feline moved in with his tail up and began eating.”
Floofdolent
Floofdolent (catfinition) – a fragrance that gives away the presence of a cat.
In use: “The lovely home was floofdolent with the essence of well-used kitty litter and aging cat food. No cats were in evidence, but a place so floofdolent had to be home to several clowders.”
Floofnetic
Floofnetic (catfinition) – a cat who has frenzied outbursts of energy; a frantic cat.
In use: “One kitten jumped up onto the vacuum cleaner. Scrabbling for a grip, she flipped the machine on, galvanizing the placid kittens into herd of floofnetics.”
Flooflator
Flooflator (catfinition) – a person who can understand cats’ meows and translate them for others. It’s a difficult profession because cats each speak their own dialect, so they even rarely understand one another. Professional flooflators say that the key to understanding cats is to acquire a vocabulary of a few common core words and phrases, such as “feed me,” “let me out,” “let me in,” “treat,” “no,” and “catnip.”
In use: “After forty years of shared ownership of thirteen cats, he’d become a decent flooflator, sufficiently skilled that others called him the cat whisperer, which he dismissed that as an exaggeration.”
Cathold
Cathold (catfinitions) –
1. Place where cats reside and rule, sometimes also referred to as a house, or household, particularly by people in denial.
2. A cat’s grip on something, usually by way of claws, but sometimes with both claws and teeth.
In use: “The cathold revolved around the queen’s routines and protocols. The little tabby, Lily, enjoyed preferential treatment by humans and the tom’s, which meant that a four A.M. feeding was normal, and she ate first.”
Michael Seidel, writer 