Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
The Guess Floof (floofinition) – Canadian floof band active from 1964 to 1974.
In use: “One of The Guess Floof’s biggest hits was “American Puppy”, a song which many thought cast aspersions on American dogs, but which the songwriter explained was really about the fact that he found American dogs irresistible (which gave rise to another controversy about whether American dogs were different from dogs from other countries).”
We have three cats. We seem to always have at least three, as they show up seeking shelter and food, and we oblige. We look for the owners but the cats seemed to have been cast aside. Sad, but not surprising, because we live not far from an apartment complex, and we think cats are left behind there. We also take care of the neighbor’s cat, Pepper. This isn’t because our neighbor doesn’t take care of her, but because Pepper enjoys visiting us for food and comfort.
One of our cats, Boo, suffers from PTSD. We don’t know what happened to this big Grizzly of a beast (twenty-four pounds) but he’s afraid and stressed by everything from noises to movements to smells. Other cats bother him, too, especially males.
Pepper, the oldest of the group (fourteen plus years) is a female; my cats, Tucker (a big black and white dude) and Papi (aka Meep), are males who are too damn territorial and adversarial. 
We’ve gotten them all under control (we’ve only had one fight this year, when Boo went to jump onto the bed where Tucker was sleeping, and Tucker, arising from slumber and startled, attacked), more or less, but we can’t give Boo the treatment and care he needs due to his PTSD. His beautiful black fur has become matted on the back, and he won’t permit grooming, reacting by hissing, swatting and nipping at hands and brushes. He’s come to tolerate us stroking him, but he can turn in a snap.
He needs to be groomed.
Enter the CBD.
Friends have used CBD with their animals, found success, and recommended that we try it. A local floof shop sells several options. Selecting a product that’s made to relax cats, I purchased a small bottle of CBD oils ($40). Knowing that Boo is leery of new smells and tastes, I resigned myself to a long introduction process to get him familiar with the smell and taste. Just two drops in whatever wet food we’re serving.
That’s where Pepper comes back into this. Boo will take a few nibbles and run away. Pepper wolves down whatever is left. Stiff and arthritic, the poor little callie often seems in pain to us. I groom her a few times a week; she relaxes most, then, but still seems stiff with pain. That is, until she had the CBD yesterday.
After eating, she curled up on a rug and deeply slept. I’d not witnessed Pepper sleeping like this for over six months, and I was so happy to see that take place. Seeing the effect on her gave me hope for Boo. When she showed up this morning for breakfast, I specifically tried a larger dose on her, and she chowed that food down, and again, relaxed. My wife said that the CBD is worth it, even we only help Pepper cope with her pain and issues; I agree.
I’ve been giving the CBD for four days. Boo has taken in some. It does seem to have a calming and relaxing effect on him, too, but he’s a big cat and needs a larger dose. (Yes, patience, patience.) Little Papi and Tucker have also each had some. Papi, already a mellow fellow and the gang’s junior member, didn’t seem much different. Tucker, an older boy who enjoys sleep, slept more.
The experiment continues. I’ll let you know what happens.
Floofcine (floofinition) – Any shot meant for an animal to innoculate them against disease or infection.
In use: “It was time for annual floofcines, which meant heading to the vet, which meant tricking the dog, because the big German Shepherd was a smart animal. Watching out the window, he soon realized where they were going and began crying.”
Floofdonna (floofinition) – Floof pop icon known for her elaborate stage routines and music videos.
In use: “Floofdonna’s second single, “Material Floof” reached number two on the Hot 100 and was promoted by a music video recreating the performance of a human pop star, Madonna in a video for her song, “Material Girl”, which, in turn, was based on a movie scene.”
Floofemployed (floofiniton) – One working for or with animals, sometimes for wages, but more often out of commitment.
In use: “Although he worked eight plus hours a day coding for a tech company, with all the time, money, and energy expended on his fosters, he sometimes felt floofemployed (which didn’t bother him at all — it was just a fact).”
Floofpendous (floofinition) – An extremely impressive animal.
In use: “Many pet owners consider their fur, scale, and feather friends to be floofpendous, but Bob (short for Bobsyername), the English Mastiff, always earns comments about his floofpendous size.”
Floofhood (floofinition) – The state or period of being a floof.
In use: “Some humans enter floofhood after dying and being reborn, if they’re lucky (because there’s a waiting list); others are usually reborn as a mineral, such as granite, which is unfortunate, as properties may carry over into the next incarnation.”
AC/Floofsie (floofinition) Australian hard floof group founded by bulldog brothers in the early 1970s, known for their hard-rocking sound.
In use: AC/FLoofsie have hit number one several times with songs like “Fur in Black”, “It’s a Long Jump to the Top”, and “Dirty Deeds (Done for Treats)”.
“Floof Fees” (floofinition) – A floof musical group formed by three brothers in the 1950s, Spike, Mike, and Tyke.
In use: “Recording for eight lives and over nine decades (in floof time), the Floof Fees formed an international following with such hits as “Sleepy Days, Busy Nights”, “Floof Talking”, “Nights on Floofway”, “Stayin’ Aloof”, and “Floof Fever”, which all charted in the top ten on Floofboard’s Top 100.”
Didn’t know how to label this dream. Had a little bit of multiple things, but one piece finally struck me as the oddest. So…
In the beginning…my wife and I were in townhome. We owned it and that’s where we lived. A lovely place, not anything brilliant, but modern and comfortable. Details past the rooms were the dream took place aren’t known. The dream was mospstly in the living room, beside a dining room and kitchen, a foyer adjacent to the living room, and the balcony, a large covered space accessible through a slider in the living room.
Cats and kittens are present. They’re busy, having fun. I’m sometimes petting them, sometimes feeding them. They’re like background.
My wife and I are talking about fixing our place up, changing some tiles, painting, minor things. We leave the place, going down the ground level (our place is on the third (top) floor). We meet friends on the green and cross to another building. Looking back, we see that, OMG, the gutter system just fell away. We’re horrified.
Only in retrospect do I see a dream paradox; we were living on the top floor; I knew that when I was in our place. Yet, when we see the gutters (drainspouts, etc.), we see them fail on a neighbors’ place above us. Odd, but I didn’t even notice it when it happened in the dream.
The gutter system itself was odd, too, consisting of a number of standard (in the U.S.) aluminum gutters along the roof but also spouts going down the side of the people. We didn’t think anything odd of them in the dream, though; it’s just in retrospect, again, that they don’t really fit what’s standard.
They had fallen away. We were horrified. What are we going to do? We must fix this. There’s also concern about the roof. Roof repairs are needed. A meeting is called to address it. We head that way.
Along the way, we’re ‘informed’ that the people above us are going to take care of the gutter and roof. They see it as their problem. Okay, great, we understand, but shouldn’t we shoulder some of the burden? My wife and I agree that we should, and make plans to approach the neighbor to inform them.
We arrive at the building where the meeting is being held. Going in, I realize that I have a badge, a photo identification, on a lanyard around my neck. Flipping it over, I see that I have a photo of Donald Trump, POTUS, with his name under. I don’t know how I came to have that (but it is a dream, innit?)
Walking into the room, I know that identification is wrong. I wait to be challenged, and it amuses me. I’m so amused, that I joke (in a poor imitation of Trump), “Nobody worry, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll take care of it, I’m the greatest authority on roofs and gutters in the world.”
I’m holding my Trump badge up as I say that. Someone tells me that roofing and gutter experts are present, but I wave them off, continuing in my Trump impersonation, “They don’t know half of what I know. They know nothing.”
Nobody is getting the joke. I’m being hushed because several women in black uniforms (they look like police officers but lack insignia) are finishing up a conference call on an unrelated matter.
As I stop, watching them and waiting, the dream ends.
Michael Seidel, writer 