Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofbotic (floofinition) – 1. Related to or associated with mechanical behavior exhibited by an animal.
In use: “With floofbotic nonchalance, the cat jumped on the bed, walked up Adele’s body, sat down on her chest, and began tapping Adele’s nose.”
2. Human behavior conducted with characteristics associated with robots.
In use: “Mumbling and sighing, Adele fumbled out of bed, staggered down the hall, opened a can of food and fed the cat in floofbotic fashion.”
Today’s song is an earworm. The infection came from a television show.
But the song, “I Knew You Were Trouble” by Taylor Swift (2012) fits if you’re a cat owner. (Owner is used as a convenience; I don’t own them – they own me.) It’s easy to watch one cat walk in, eyeing another as the other scopes them out, and think of this song. The cats don’t telegraph their intentions to me, but to one another, many things are being said. But I think, this looks like trouble. Then comes the chorus, “Trouble, trouble, trouble.”
Then the cats start talking to one another. Yeah, don’t tell me that cats meow to humans and not one another. These cats talk to one another. I hear them muttering as I half-awaken, “Get away from me. If you don’t get away from me, I’m telling the ape man.” Maybe it’s all just theater for me.
It’s the second time that I’ve used this song. The previous time was in an incoherent post about Monday back in 2019. I don’t think I’d had any coffee when I wrote it, because it’s all over the place. It also associates this song with cats.
Cats and trouble; how’d they get this rep?
Anyway, here’s the song.
Floofbatical (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s break or change from a normal routine.
In use: “After raising her own litter, then a litter of orphaned kittens, then an orphaned puppy, Mamacita felt she deserved a floofbatical.”
2. A human’s break from taking care of, attending, or being with animals.
In use: “Both beloved dogs died of cancer in the space of three months, each after a short fight against the cancer’s growth. Izzy decided to take a floofbatical before bringing another pet into her life. Of course, she’d overlooked floofma, which delivered a new rescue into her life after just three days.”
The Verve Floofs (floofinition) – American alt. floof rock (flock) from Floofchigan, active from 1992 to the present.
In use: “The Verve Floofs’ highest charting hit was “The Floofmen”. Released in 1997, the song charted well in several countries, reaching number five on the UFA Floofboard Hot 100.”
Floofdiction (floofinition) – a compulsive, A chronic, physiological, compulsive, or psychological need for being near or with an animal.
In use: “After acknowledging the limitations her floofdiction imposed on her travel, she established a hotel where each room could be provided a comfort animal from local fosters or shelters to help travelers missing their floofs.”
The cats in the back
won’t cut me slack
with their lazy playing all day.
Eyeing the butterflies
watching the blue jays fly
they don’t care what I say.
Unless I call, “Hungry?”
Or, “Want a treat?”
Or, call another cat’s name.
Then they come runnin’
and give me some lovin’
Until I feed them or go away.
Eddie Floofey (floofinition) – American floof and roll singer, songwriter, and musical performer who found success in the 1970s and 1980s, crafty catchy, flea collar songs that became popular in floof culture.
In use: “Eddie Floofey’s success included eleven Top 40 songs, including, “Two Itches to Paradise”, “Floofy Hold On”, and “Let Me Out Tonight”, which became his biggest hit in Floofmerica.”
Floofidiot (floofinition) – 1. A stupid or foolish animal.
In use: “Many are quick to label animals as a floofidiot when they’re really determined and fearless, like the kitten boldly scaling the curtains, because they’re there, but then can’t get back down.”
2. A person who goes ga-ga over animals.
In use: “Others started calling her a floofidiot behind her back because she was always donating food and supplies to animal shelters, sharing photos, videos, and stories on social media, and pampered seven pets of her own in her small ranch house.”
Crank it up for this Monday gem.
I owe cats – natch – for this. The little beasts were unrelenting in requests for individual attention this morning. Pets and scratches were issued, food was given, words were whispered, and appeasement achieved. But at one point, as impatience was thinning — wanted to get on with writing, you know? — I told one floof, you’re running me ragged today.
That cracked open the song door. In sprang Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble’s 1992 rockified cover of Sonny James’ blues song, “Empty Arms”.
Cosfloofpolitan (floofinition) – 1. An animal who is free from bias toward other animals.
In use: “The jaunty little Rocky, a street rescue, was cosfloofpolitan, making friends with other dogs, but also cats, squirrels, rabbits, deer, mice, birds, and people.”
2. An alcoholic cocktail made with vodka, cranberry juice, an orange-flavored liqueur, lime juice, and pet hair.
In use: “Tana didn’t like cosfloofpolitans. She preferred hair-free and fur-free cocktails. But four dogs and four cats somehow sabotaged her efforts.”
Michael Seidel, writer 