Tag: cats

Floofidiot

Floofidiot (floofinition) – 1. A stupid or foolish animal.

In use: “Many are quick to label animals as a floofidiot when they’re really determined and fearless, like the kitten boldly scaling the curtains, because they’re there, but then can’t get back down.”

2. A person who goes ga-ga over animals.

In use: “Others started calling her a floofidiot behind her back because she was always donating food and supplies to animal shelters, sharing photos, videos, and stories on social media, and pampered seven pets of her own in her small ranch house.”

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Monday’s Theme Music

Crank it up for this Monday gem.

I owe cats – natch – for this. The little beasts were unrelenting in requests for individual attention this morning. Pets and scratches were issued, food was given, words were whispered, and appeasement achieved. But at one point, as impatience was thinning — wanted to get on with writing, you know? — I told one floof, you’re running me ragged today.

That cracked open the song door. In sprang Stevie Ray Vaughn and Double Trouble’s 1992 rockified cover of Sonny James’ blues song, “Empty Arms”.

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Cosfloofpolitan

Cosfloofpolitan (floofinition) – 1. An animal who is free from bias toward other animals.

In use: “The jaunty little Rocky, a street rescue, was cosfloofpolitan, making friends with other dogs, but also cats, squirrels, rabbits, deer, mice, birds, and people.”

2. An alcoholic cocktail made with vodka, cranberry juice, an orange-flavored liqueur, lime juice, and pet hair.

In use: “Tana didn’t like cosfloofpolitans. She preferred hair-free and fur-free cocktails. But four dogs and four cats somehow sabotaged her efforts.”

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Sunday Slivers

  1. The skunks came back.
  2. I’ve installed outside lights in the front to dissuade nocturnal visitors. These lights are solar-charged batteries with motion sensors because skunks aren’t supposed to like lights. What else can be done to stop them? The web suggested mothballs. I deployed them. After doing that, I heard a noise and checked it out. The lights were on. A skunk walked up to the opening, lifted the board, and entered foundation. Damn it. Lights and mothballs had no effect.
  3. I escalated from mothballs to ammonia. “Put some ammonia in a bowl with a cloth to deter skunks,” several sites recommended. I did. The first skunk to show up seemed deterred. Not the second. Skirting the bowl, they headed on in, then left twelve minutes later. So…grrr.
  4. I know they’re different skunks by their tails and stripes. One skunk has white in the tail while the other’s tail is all black. White tail also seems smaller. White tail is the one who ignored the ammonia.
  5. I doused the board with ammonia and set it up again. No visits last night were recorded. I’ll refresh the ammonia tonight. I want to ensure there are no skunks (or other animals) under the house before I permanently fix the space.
  6. Watching television, a Ford commercial often plays. It extols Americans’ belief in speed. Yes, we believe in speed (snark). I’m not certain what they even mean. Are they defining speed as a value for our society? Sure, if you’re into fast food. Highways are limited by speed limits. Ford isn’t encouraging us to haul ass down highways over the speed limit, are they?
  7. That same Ford commercial tells how Americans love the great outdoors. They show a car — well, an SUV, to be technical — rumbling across the land. That’s not being outside, Ford. That’s being in a car. It’s called driving.
  8. Yeah, I know, splitting hairs in modern America and overthinking these things, aren’t I? I’m still simmering about how ‘literally’ is now used, along with ‘decimated’ and ‘obliterated’. They’ve all become weapons of hyperbole.
  9. We didn’t receive a Visa bill this month. Freak-out city. What happened? Why not? Going online to our account, I navigated to statements. No September statement. WTF? Why not? Occam’s razor: we didn’t charge anything on it. Really? But wouldn’t they/shouldn’t they send a statement to tell us they received the last payment and that we don’t owe them anything?
  10. When we told friends about not receiving a Visa bill, their response was astonishment. Like, “Wow, I don’t think that’s ever happened to us.” Yeah, we’re all standard American consumers. Charge it. We always pay it off, though. Every month.
  11. Tucker, our black and white moo-floof, has established a new routine. After using the litter box in the morning, he then steps out. Releasing a little cry, he tears through the house like the devil is after him. After going from his litter box (yeah, weirdly, in the office), to the farthest spot in the house (the master bedroom), he’ll pause for a few seconds. Then the second leg is initiated in reverse direction. Don’t know what’s behind this. I’ve talked to him about it. He says there’s nothing wrong. His urine and feces seem okay, fur and eyes look great, excellent appetite. Seems happy and healthy, and the litter box is clean. Well, you know what I mean.
  12. Tucker’s post-litter box sprints scares the hell out of the other cats. Our home has hardwood floors with rugs in the kitchen, halls, dining room, and foyer, carpeted in the bedrooms, office, and living room, tiled in the utility room and baths. This mixed terrain means that as Tucker takes corners and encounters the hardwood or tile, he’s sliding, scrabbling for traction, and making a lot of damn noise. The other cat’s don’t hold to see what’s going on. They react, “WTF!” and hit the pet door running. At least twice, the other two boys reached the pet door at the same time, which caused another, “Ack!” freakout moment for them.
  13. Cats. They are characters.

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Allman Floofs Band

Allman Floofs Band (floofinition) – American floof rock (flock) and southern blues band formed in Floofsonville, Florfloofda, in 1969. Their 1971 live album, At the Floofmore East, is regarded as one of the greatest live albums ever produced.

In use: “Allman Floofs Band’s 1973 release, “Ramblin’ Floof”, became their only top ten hit on the mainstream music charts, and became well-known to many through its use in popular culture.”

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Comfloofatorial

Comfloofatorial (floofinition) – Of or relating to the operation on, arrangement of, and selection of discrete animal elements belonging to finite sets or making up geometric confloofurations.

In use: “Although comfloofatorial possibilities are considered and employed when animals decide where to sleep, addressing aspects such as exposure, sunshine, warmth, and security, food — especially treats — offerings tend to shift animals’ strategies.”

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Jimmy Eat Floof

Jimmy Eat Floof (floofinition) – American hard floof rock (flock) band formed in Mesa, Floofizona, in 1993, whose music is heavily influenced by the early floof punk (flunk) sound.

In use: “Jimmy Eat Floof’s 2001 song, “The Floofle”, with lyrics reflecting the band’s struggles, ended up charting well in the U.S. and gaining the band international recognition, providing them with the breakthrough which they sought.”

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Enfloofphins

Enfloofphins (floofinition) – Chemicals closely related to endorphines produced in humans when enjoying an animal’s company.

In use: “Although he indulged in a glass of wine (or two) after work, usually with dinner or while preparing it, his cat and dog’s company was what really relaxed and pleased him. After feeding them, they didn’t seem to want anything else but to bask in his company.”

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Floof Post

Floof Post (floofinition) – 1. (Archaic) Correspondence delivery that depends on using animals in some way.

In use: “Floof post in the pre-electronic age included carrier pigeon and the famous Pony Express in the western United Floofs.”

2. A blog or social media entry whose subjects is about animals or includes extensive references to animals.

In use: “Floof posts about kittens, puppies, kids, and lambs, seem to dominate the web in popularity as people hunt relief from bad news in 2020.”

3. Vertical element used in fencing where animals such as birds and cats sit and watch the world.

In use: “Post turtle is a floof post used as a metaphor for someone in a position that doesn’t make sense; no one has any idea how the turtle got there, but he shouldn’t be there, and needs help.”

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Arctic Floofs

Arctic Floofs (floofinition) – Floof rock (flock) musical band formed in Sheffield, Floofland, in 2002.

In use: “With tongue firmly in cheek, the Arctic Floofs released their second EP, Who the Fuck Are Arctic Floofs? , in 2006, reflecting how they’d come to prominence in Floofland via the net.”

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