Sorofloofmist

Sorofloofmist (floofinition) – International service organization made up of females dedicated to improving the lives of animals.

In use: “Sorofloofmists often work behind the scenes, quietly organizing fundraisers to help animal shelters with food and spending shortfalls, or finding the funding for animals who need surgery.”

Traces

Different floofs leave these places

with bits of fur and other traces

bite marks, claw scratches,

round dimples in furniture

where they made their beds

their scents fade

and the signs disappear

but we remember these floofs

which we hold so dear

Defloofciation

Defloofciation (floofinition) – 1. The loss of love and caring for an animal, such as a family pet.

In use: “Pets often suffer from defloofciation, becoming abandoned as families move away, leaving them behind, a situation that often angers, sickens, and disgusts true animal lovers.”

2. The reduction of animals in a home.

In use: “Once she had several cats and two dogs, but her declining health soon forced defloofciation, and now she had many pictures of former pets, and just one who lived with her.”

Floof O’clock

Floof O’clock (Floofinition) – Time set by animals to do something.

In use: “Every morning, Papi set his internal sundial to floof o’clock, which was hours before the sun dared to squint out, rising to yowl for food, to be let out (and then back in) (and then back out), searching for the answer to the new mystery every day, ‘where is the sun?'”

Ten Floofs After

Ten Floofs After (floofinition) – Flock (floof-rock) Floofish blues band best known for their legendary Floofstock performance. Originally formed in 1960 in Floofsfield, the band first had the name Ivan Floof and the Floofcats before changing their name to Ten Floofs After in 1966. Always a four floof combo, their greatest commercial success came in the period of 1966-1974.

In use: “Ten Floofs After appeared at Floofstock in 1970, when their infloofdescent performance of “I’m Going Floof” cemented their reputation in the Floofnited States as a hard-charging blues-influenced flock band.”

A Dream of Needs and Waiting

I dreamed I was with a gaggle of people, all clothed, all my age. Mixed races were represented. Males, females, and different sexual orientations were in evidence. We were outside, awaiting movement to somewhere. We were all in our twenties.

A doctor examined me and pronounced me healthy. That cheered me. I felt ready for my trip. It seemed like I’d been planning it for a long time. At last the day was here. I was in good spirits.

Little organization was evidenced. We were just a group waiting, though. How much organization is needed? You ate when desired, or took a bathroom break, if needed. Though we were outside, everything was available.

Then, during a pee break, I discovered blood in my urine. Upset, I went to the doctor and reported it. He immediately examined me and pronounced me healthy. Reassured, I returned to the queuing area and visited with others, chatting about where we were going. None of us were sure about the destiny or what we would find, but we were all sure that it was going to be better than where we’d been.

I took another pee break. More blood in my urine. Upset, I reported in for medical care. The doctor wasn’t in, I was told, but would be there soon. Go back and wait. I’ll be called when the doctor arrived.

I returned to the waiting area. Preoccupied with my medical problem and morose, I sat away from the rest. Time wore on. We became restless, wondering, what’s the hold up? Weren’t we supposed to be gone by now? As we waited, I heard another woman, Michelle, go up and ask for medical treatment for blood in her urine. I didn’t say anything to her but I was interested in her details. They told her that a doctor would be with her soon. She went back and spoke with her friends, all women. I edged closer but couldn’t hear their conversation.

Doctors came in. One was the American actor, Steven Weber. I thought, at last, treatment. But now, general info was made. There was a delay, etc. Be patient. We’ll be with you shortly.

Why couldn’t they just treat us now, I wondered. Tired of waiting, most people drifted away. I stayed where I was. They came in, calling for Michelle. I volunteered that she’d gone elsewhere. They didn’t seem to hear me so I repeated myself. They still didn’t seem to hear or notice me. Admin people talked among themselves. They needed to find Michelle because she had a medical problem. It might get worse. I have the same problem, I said. They told me to wait, a doctor will be with me soon.

The doctors had left while this was happening. Only I remained of the original group. I didn’t know where they’d gone. I was now in a building’s shade. People came down. One was a young boy. He had two fluffy ginger and white cats. One was a kitten. He kept telling everyone that his cat needed medical care. Others tried telling him to relax and calm down, care was coming, but he was adamant, he needed care for his cat right now.

I learned his name was Michael, which was my name. Another child with two cats, calicos, adult and kitten, came into the scene. This child was younger, perhaps six. He walked around telling everyone that his cats were going to pay his bills. The cat wanted to. He did it online. I thought the kid was a little disconnected from reality.

A woman in a black sweater and skirt came by. She was white, with short black hair. I realized as I watched her that it was Heather Graham, the actress. She poured a small cup of water with ice and lime in it and walked around. As she came by me, I thought she was going to throw it on me. I told her not to do that. She answered, “No, you look thirsty. I thought you needed a drink of water.”

The dream ended.

Propfloofsition

Propfloofsition (floofinition) – 1. A proposal or idea involving an animal or animals.

In use: “A growing propfloofsition is that animals need safe places to cross roads, so bridges and tunnels for them to safely cross highways are being built.

2. A suggestion made by an animal.

In use: “In deed and sounds, pet owners not infrequently find their fur friends making the propfloofsition that the animal be included in any Zoom meetings conducted.

3. A stand for animal rights through the reduction of animal abuses.

In use: “Cage-free eggs, banning trophy hunting, and shutting down puppy mills are three propfloofistions by which people are trying to make sharing the world with animals more humane.”

Obflooftrics

Obflooftrics (floofinition) – The branch of living and existing concerned with the care of animals giving birth.

In use: “Although not recognized as anything formal, many people became involved with obflooftrics because of circumstance, as they help their pets give birth at home.”

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