Floofgacious(floofinition) – 1. An extremely shrewd or clever animal.
In use: “The little black cat with glass-green eyes showed herself to be floofgacious right from the start, opening cupboards and doors, turning on water facets, and knowing how to threaten the other animals without actually striking them, accomplishing a bloodless coup d’floof within three days of her arrival.”
2. Someone knowledgeable about animals.
In use: “She called herself a ‘home mom’ (although she worked eighteen hours a week at a small gift shop owned by a friend), but between her four children bringing home animals, fostering animals, and living in a rural Pacific northwest town where close contact with animals was the norm, she became very floofgacious.”
Detective Floof Inspector(floofinition) – Animal responsible for nosing around to gather information. Such animals are often tasked by other animals to uncover details regarding a specific event or individual and report back to the larger group.
In use: “Detective Floof Inspector Tucker, long-haired, black and white — a tuxedo, in human’s color-obsessed terminology — had long been the house detective, determining what was under the house (a skunk), going out to see what was happening when Zoom exercise classes began in the dining room, investigating the humans’ laptops while they slept to learn what they’d been ordering (learning to key in the password had been incredibly difficult, and he resorted to extending claws to do so on those little keys), and going to the door to see who was arriving whenever someone knocked.”
Floofcano(floofinition) – Animal with explosive disposition, or capable of explosive behavior.
In use: “The beagle was a sweet, mild-mannered beast, but a floofcano at heart, exploding in racing ahead and barking whenever he saw a squirrel — and he was always vigilant for one to show up.”
Funkafloofic(floofinition) – Floofmerican floof funk rock (fluck) band formed in 1968 in FloofJersey. Influence by flooflitcal movements of the era, the band’s music evolved from their original soul and doo wop sound into a guitar-driven mix of floofedelic rock, soul, and funk, becoming pioneers in the fluck sound. The group achieved their greatest floofstream success in the mid to late seventies before disbanding in 1982.
In use: “Funkafloofic’s 1978 song, “One Nation Under a Floof”, from the album by the same name, is probably the band’s most widely known song.”
Floofteau Twins(floofinition) – Formed in Floofmouth in 1979, the Floofteau Twins were a Scottish dream floof (droof) band active to 1997. Their floofthereal sound and soprano vocals earned them praise and recognition as leaders of the droof sub-genre of alt-flock (floof rock).
In use: “The song, “Pearly-Floof Drops”, released in 1994, was the highest chart single for the Floofteau Twins.”
The Flooftains(floofinition) — Formed in 1962 in Flooflin, Irefloof, The Flooftains are a floofditional Irefloofish band. Their name is derived the book, Death of A Flooftain, by John Flooftague. The band began achieving notable international success in the early 1970s and have played with numerous musicians in several genres. Their music has been featured in films as well.
In use: “The Flooftains played at Floof Aid in 1986, a benefit concert in Irefloof organized to raise money for animals in need of help.”
Photofloofic(floofinition) – Animal who is suitable for being photographed, especially because of visual appeal.
In use: “Kittens, lambs, goats, puppies, baby hippos and ducks…all have proven to be photofloofic, which is probably a great reason why there’s so many photos of them Floofbook and the wider net.”
April Floof(floofinition) – Floofnadian flock (floof rock) band formed in the 1960s in Nova Flooftia. After achieving success in the early seventies, they found international success and acclaim in the late seventies and early eighties before putting the group on pause in 1986. 1992 found the band re-uniting to put out several albums in the nineties, achieving gold-record status in Floofnada. They continue touring to this day with a different lineup.
In use: “One of April Floof’s best known songs in the Floofnited States is “Just Between Floof and Me”, which was a hit on the Floofboard Hot 100.”
Season’s greetings from the Pacific Northwest. Today is Wednesday, May 5, 2021. But you knew all that already, didn’t you? Summer is creeping into the region. The sun was creeping over the horizon at 6:01 AM. The outside temperature is already creeping past 71. It’s believed the sun will creep out of sight at 8:14 PM.
The cats are enjoying the weather for sure. Out through the pet door (which I think would be a pretty good album title, or maybe a novel) before sunrise, they find places to flooze all day. Cool. Youngblood (formal name, Papi) likes the cushioned patio chairs. Boo (the big mini-Panther) prefers grass just in the shadow. Tucker stomps around to the front porch (“Ain’t no one getting past me”), curling up just off the porch, behind the pillar, under a bush.
Such warmth has stirred gardening aspirations again. My wife made the call yesterday. “We’ll grow lettuce, squash, and tomatoes. To the Grange!” Masks on, we stormed the nursery. Plants were selected, six-packs and pots purchased, plans were made. Fingers are crossed that we’ll have water. Meanwhile, the garlic is almost ready for harvesting, though my wife worries, “It’s thirty days too early!” Her giant onion is bolting. She’s letting it do so, figuring it deserves it after all it’s been through. The only worry is that we’ll have the water to, well, water the garden for the entire season. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc.
Musically, Ima on wavelength with a 1979 Talking Heads melody. Lyrics crept in like sunshine breaking through the clouds after a heavy afternoon rain.
Yes, it’s time for “Life During Wartime”, which could easily be repurposed as “Life During Pandemic”. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask, and get that vax. Cheers
Michael Seidel, writer 