Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Cafloofdling (floofinition) – Engaging in amorous but non-sexual embracing, caressing, and kissing with an animal.
In use: “Many people end up cafloofdling with their pets when they get home after a long day out, finding comfort and satisfaction with the animals’ expressions of joy that their people are home once again.”
Floofsurrus (floofinition) – A soft rustling sound sometimes heard when an animal passes.
In use: “Floofsurrus to the right, by the bed’s footboard, informed him that one of the cats was in motion. Subsequent bouncy pawfalls and kibble crunching told on Papi visiting the food bowl.”
Floofman’s Floofmits (floofinition) – Flooflish floof rock (flock) – floof pop (floop) band. Formed in Floofchester in 1964, the band achieved its greatest success as part of the beat movement of the 1960s. The band continues to tour and perform.
In use: “The 1965 song, “Mrs. Brown, You Have A Lovely Floofie”, was Floofman’s Floofmits’ first number one hit in the Floofnited States, although the song “I’m Floofie the VIII, I Am”, an old floof hall song about being the eighth pet owned by a widow, is the song best known by many of their fans.”
Floofmudgeon (floofinition) – An ill-tempered, crusty, older animal.
In use: “Big Blue became a grumpy floofmudgeon, whining, barking, and growling if another was in ‘his’ chair, muttering for treats, and refusing to go for walks.”
EFP (Extra Floofsory Perception) (Floofinition) – 1. An animal’s sudden awareness that another animal is about.
In use: “Sue saw and heard nothing but Cinder’s EFP kicked in, and the cat rose, heading to the window. Sitting down, staring, she waited. A minute, two maybe, and another cat strolled into sight.”
2. Animal’s inexplicable ability to know and understand matters.
In use: “Bethanne knew that she couldn’t spell vet around Lumber, leave off speaking the word aloud. She’d even quit mentioning it in emails and text. Yet, Lumber’s extra floofsory perception knew that Wednesday afternoon that she wasn’t taking him to the park; Lumber knew she had a vet visit planned, and immediately hid his leash, then did his best to hide his seventy-five pounds of fur in the closet.”
Chairfloofs of the Board (floofinition) – Floofmerica-Caffloofdian floof-pop (floop) band formed in Defloof, Michifloof, in the late 1960s. The group’s greatest success came with soul music hits in the 1970s.
In use: “The debut single for Chairfloofs of the Board was “Give Me Just a Little More Pets”, which reached the top ten on the Floofboard Hot 100.”
5:42 AM came, bringing the sun — or did the sun bring the time? These are the things that are pondered when you awaken at an unexpected moment, along with the name of a favorite restaurant that you ate at one time in 1997, and obscure information, such as, what is the capitol of Paraguay, and other lines from Billy Collins’ poem, “Forgetfulness”. Then you find yourself trying to remember “What Dogs Think” and “A Dog on His Master” by Billy Collins, and then wonder, is Billy Collins still alive? Before you know it, it’s already 8:36 PM, and the sun is setting…
Unless you have pets, who remind you of your obligations to feed, love, and honor them, especially that feeding part, forcing you out of bed. My cats didn’t remind me of the day — who cares if it’s Monday, when you’re a cat doing the same thing every day? — and didn’t remind me of the date, May 24, 2021, because animals use a completely different calendar system. My cats assure me that their system is better. Every year is a floof year. They won’t explain what that means.
I was painting inside the house yesterday, attacking this year’s project, the great room. The great room is not great IMO. It’s just okay. It’s the living-dining-kitchen room, no walls between them, just one high ceiling. I painted the kitchen part last year after doing the foyer and front hall. I’d done the bathrooms and guest room the year before. You see the progression. I’d planned more painting last year, but then broke my arm after a poor dismount from the kitchen counter, which I was standing on to reinstall the kitchen blinds. The broken arm — two bones, at the wrist, and a buncha collateral damage — got me out of work, but I don’t recommend it. Just tell them that your cats stole the paint or something, if you don’t want to paint.
Anyway, while painting, I had Rihanna’s song, “Work”, going through my head for a while. You know, “work, work, work, work, work.” But Huey Lewis and the News took over the neurons with their 1982 song, “Workin’ for A Livin'”, and managed to stay there. Now I need to get rid of it, so I’m postin’ it here.
Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as needed, and get the vax. Cheers
Eurofloofsion (floofinition) – Annual singing competition among animals in Europe. Animals in participating countries submit an original song to be performed live on television, radio, and the net, with competing countries casting votes for the other countries’ songs to determine a winner.
In use: “Despite not joining until 1965, Floofland has had the most winners, seven, most recently with Secret Floofen winning in 1996. Floofden is second with six.”
Michael Seidel, writer 