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Flooftation (floofinition) – a quotation or reference about a housepet, such as a dog, cat, or fish.
In use: “A classic flooftation comes from Groucho Marx, who said, “Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend because inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.””
Hairleaf (catfinition) – hairball that resembles a leaf, or a leaf that could be mistaken for a hairball.
In use: “Seeing the object on the floor, he looked for signs of yakking and then pulled a tissue from the box, because one can’t be too careful with these matters. On further inspection, though, it wasn’t a hairball, but a hairleaf.”
Floofdial (floofinition) – refers to having a housepet. Postfloofdial refers to the period after pets leave the household, leaving the household without a pet, while prefloofdial refers to the time before a household ever acquires a pet.
In use: “With his beloved fur friend passed away, his home was no longer floofdial, but he wasn’t going to remain postfloofdial. He was certain fate would direct another fur friend his way, which is what he wanted. He didn’t think of his prefloofdial era with any fondness, for a home without a pet just wasn’t as warm and friendly.”
Floofciturn (floofinition) – housepets who are reserved and do little to communicate with others.
In use: “He said to his cat, “What’s the matter? Are you hungry? Do you want to go outside?” The floofciturn feline remained sitting where he was, watching the man like the cat had no idea who he was or what he was saying.”
Floofjection (floofinition) – a housepet’s dismissal or refusal of an offering or action.
In use: “The cat had a habit of floofjection whenever people attempted to stroke her silky black fur, raising a paw and gazing at them with an expression in her enormous green eyes that said, “No. Look, but don’t touch.””
Floofgrate (floofinition) – a housepet’s habit of changing their sleeping location(s).
In use: “During the winter, the cats and dogs floofgrated from window to window, following the sun’s path.”
Flooflumph (floofinition) – 1. (noun) a housepet’s movement with heavy tread. 2. (verb) (slang) a term used in reference to a clumsy housepet.
In use: “The big lab was such a flooflumph as a puppy, all paws and legs, thundering and crashing when he ran, that it was amazing to see him as a mature and majestic adult, trotting and sprinting with grace.”
Floofcery (floofintion) – an ancient idea that housepets use power gained from the assistance or control of evil spirits to bewitch others. Floofologists have discredited floofcery in recent decades as housepets, especially cats, demonstrate using quanta of dark matter to achieve their goals.
In use: “He believed his cat, a Maine coon, often used floofcery to still his food and control his other pets, because it seemed the cat need only look upon the rest to take over their minds.”
Floofmeling (floofinition) – when one housepet, often a cat, repeatedly strikes another housepet.
In use: “Despite the floofmeling that the young cat rained on the young dog, the dog stayed where he was, continuing to try to smell and lick the cat.”
Imfloofable (floofinition) – a housepet that refuses to change its personality or accomodate any others.
In use: “Although she tried introducing other pets into the household, Flash was imfloofable, refusing to accept any other creature in the home. Like the Highlander, there could be only one.”
Michael Seidel, writer 