Flooftocracy (floofinition) – a housepet (such as a cat) ruling with unlimited authority.
In use: “The flooftocracy’s nature, that the cat was only answerable to itself, meant that the people’s efforts to limit power often failed.”
Floofboard
Floofboard (floofinition) – a quantum game housepets play, using furniture and space to watch and check one another’s moves.
In use: “The living room had become a floofboard, with one cat on each chair.”
Floofceny
Floofceny (floofinition) – a housepet’s unlawful taking of personal property with intent to deprive the rightful owner of it permanently.
In use: “When Aspacia began her day, she discovered evidence of floofceny. A floofen had stolen her checkbook and torn out all the checks during the night.”
h/t to Aspacia S. Bissass
Delefloof
Delefloof (floofinition) – a housepet sent or authorized to represent other housepets. See also: delecat, deledog, delebird.
In use: “No matter what time he arrived home, exactly one delefloof met him at the door, like they’d been standing sentry inside it. Of course, after being home for one to three minutes — just enough time for the delefloof to activate the floof notification network (F.N.N.), the other floofs appeared, wanting attention and, of course, food.”
Floofdom
Floofdom (floofinition) – a couch, sofa, floor, chair, bed, pillow, rug, carpet, yard, or other space guarded or protected by a housepet.
In use: “The tom and the queen squared off over the floofdom, defined by a square of sunshine on the floor. Although the tom was twice her size and was there first, the queen had an attitude and won the skirmish.”
Floofen
Floofen (floofinition) – a housepet who commit crimes, often involving food, toys, or escaping.
In use: “The floofens worked together as a team. The dog distracted the people while the cat pulled food off the table. Both shared the spoils. Pizza was their favorite. Pizza was never safe from the floofens.”
Metafloofics
Metafloofics (floofinition) – discipline of floofosophy concerned with household pets’ fundamental grasp of reality, or what reality they might be living in.
In use: “The question before the hypothetical household court was one of metafloofics. They’d debated before whether the dogs and cats adhered to the same principles or reality and existence. Mark had a strong feeling that the cats did not, and he was starting to believe they were influencing the dogs.
“That, frankly, disturbed him.”
Wanderfloof
Wanderfloof (floofinition) – a housepet with a penchant for wandering.
In use: “Although she’d been his cat for six years, the pet door let her roam as she wanted. As he held the wanderfloof one day, a neighbor expressed surprise, because she’d been feeding and taking care of the cat for the last several years. She’d always wondered where the cat went when it disappeared for hours.”
Flooftentious
Flooftentious (floofinition) – a pet’s behavior characterized by assumption of dignity after something silly or an event that casts them in a bad image has taken place.
In use: “When falling to make a jump as planned, cats’ flooftentious reaction will be to sit and groom their face, or to look around with an expression that states, “What? I meant to do that.””
Floofdigenous
Floofdigenous (floofinition) – particular places where we normally or naturally find our pets in our homes.
In use: “In many homes, sofas, couches, beds, or patches of sunlight are floofdigenous to our cats and dogs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 