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Floofsive (floofinition) – a state or expression where a housepet appears engaged in, involving, or reflecting deep or serious thought.
In use: “He said, as he does every morning, “Who’s hungry? Who wants something to eat?” In response, the cats and dogs sat down and regarded him with floofsive gazes, as if they didn’t know who he was.”
Enflooflope (floofinition) – the accepted limits for what housepets are permitted to do; being constrained or trapped by housepets.
In use: “Jade was a smart and willful tabby who enjoyed pushing the enflooflope, jumping up counters and table tops, taking food from plates as though it was her serving, arguing back with sharp meows and a swishing tail when remonstrated.”
Infloofuencer (floofinition) – a housepet that influences other housepets by their actions, sounds, or behavior
In use: “At seventeen, he was the household’s first and oldest pet. Joining them when he was just three months old, he was an infloofuencer on the other pets. Wherever he went, whatever he did, the others would do the same, just to see where he was or what he was doing.”
Floofduggery (floofinition) – a housepet’s underhanded or unscrupulous behavior.
In use: “Jade at first hid from the new puppy, growling and hissing if it made the slightest sign of taking an interest in her. But when he went to sleep, she employed floofduggery to sneak up on him, and then swat him three times on the nose. As he yelped in surprised, she strolled away, satisfied that her point was made.”
Eflooftric (floofinition) – a housepet who behaves in strange or unusual ways; a person who behaves oddly around housepets.
In use: “The big, happy lab was normal in every way, except when it came to water. The sound of water made the eflooftric race to find the water and watch it. He loved nothing more than witnessing falling rain, except, perhaps, watching the bath tub drain.
“Naturally, they had to buy him his own small wading pool.
“Naturally.
“Naturally, he loved it.”
Floofwich (floofinition) – inserted or squeezed between two or more housepets, typically in a restricted space or so as to be uncomfortable.
In use: “Turning to leave the kitchen, Michael discovered the three cats had him boxed in. It would be a floofwich, a BPT – Boo, Papi, and Tucker – floofwich, if the cats trusted each other enough to close the gap between them.”
Flooftender (floofinition) – a housepet who lays claim to head pet throne who is held to have no just title.
In use: “The new cat thought she’d make herself queen, but the established calico soon taught the flooftender her place.”
Mettlefloof (floofinition) – a spirited housepet; a housepet full of vigor and stamina.
In use: “The household was used to quiet, dignified pets. The new mettlefloof of a lab puppy was anything but quiet and dignified, shaking it up with gallops around the house, invitations to wrestle, and eating any food found anywhere.”
Dutifloof (floofinition) – conscientiously or obediently fulfilling one’s duty to their pets; a housepet who remains loyal and conscientious toward others.
In use: “She had a meager income, but she was dutifloof, ensuring that her miniature collies had the best foods and medical treatment possible. They were her best friends and a comforting presence. Making them happy and keeping them safe made her happy.”
Floofloaf (floofinition) – a housepet that resembles a rolled up towel or a loaf of bread; a healthy pet that prefers not to move around, but lazes in one spot; a person who doesn’t change positions because a pet is on them.
In use: “He’d been a young fighter when they’d brought the orange kitten into the house but within a year, he became a floofloaf who enjoyed nothing more than a good nap, a warm lap, and a bit of kibble a few times a day.”
Michael Seidel, writer 