Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Crucifloofbalist (floofinition) – An animal, person, or entity skillful in solving problems involving angry or irritated animals. Origins: Flooftin cruci-, crux cross + floof animal+ English -alist (as in verbalist)
In Use: “Just 8-years-old, Megan showed herself to be a natural crucifloofbalist, marching up to the quarreling cats and yelling, “No,” which ended the noisy standoff post haste.”
Floofweg (floofinition) – Chief navigable space, such as a path through a room, which constitutes the boundary line between clowders, herds, flocks, and packs. Origins: High Old Floofman, from tailswag.
In Use: “The dogs had their beds, and the cats had their trees, boxes, and beds, forcing Ali to follow a careful floofweg when she had treats to ensure the delicate balance of power wasn’t disrupted.”
In Use: “The established cats and dogs expected the floofweg to be respected but the kittens spilled across the boundary with careless, exuberant energy.”
Floofkensian (floofinition) – Originating with or reminiscent of an animal. Origins: Charles Dickens, English Novelist, 1858, “A Tale of Three Kitties”.
In Use: “Floofkensian habits often endured for Jerry long after his floof’s departure, such as looking for them when he woke up in the morning or came home from work or shopping. Years passed before he finally and totally shed those habits.”
In Use: “Dickens left his mark on the household. By the time the rescue puppy passed away, floofkensian routines like afternoon walks, sharing food with the housefloofs, and sleeping with a furry warm body against you was firmly entrenched.”
Floofrimonialism (floofinition) – Form of rule among, over, or by animals based on favoritism. Origins: Max Floofer (Floofconomy and Floofciety, 1920)
In Use: “When it came to the animals, they all recognized that Sharon was in charge, and floofrimonialism soon became evident; the animals paid little attention to what Geoff said, while flooftowing to all of Sharon’s commands.”
In Use: “Sam and Dave practiced floofrimonialism and didn’t allow anyone except their chosen people to pet or touch them.”
Flooftifying (floofinition) To make suitable or sensible to an animal’s needs. Origins: Middle Floofish, 18th century.
In Use: “When getting ready to have offspring, many animals begin flooftifying a suitable location to give birth and initially raise their offspring, usually a place that’s warm, safe, and dry.”
In Use: “Floofifying a house is often needed when a new puppy joins a household, as they sometimes display an astonishing ability to damage things and get into trouble.”
In Use: “When Karla acquired two new cats, she decided flooftifying her patio by turning part of it into a catio that’s accessible by the cats from a window exit was absolutely the right thing to do.”
Periflooftetic (floofinition) – An animal with a wandering or restless nature. Origins: Flooce, Middle Floof, and Flooftin, 15th century.
In Use: “Quinn was a long-haired and handsome periflooftetic, resting in a window seat one minute, asleep on a chair in the next, and outdoors in the back yard at the next glance.”
In Use: “Sleeping through the day, Braveheart the bulldog was a nocturnal periflooftetic, thumping up and down the stairs, padding along the halls, investigating every sound with a gruff grunt.”
Obfloofrate (floofinition) – An animal who obstinately refuses to stop doing ‘wrong doing’. Origins: 15th century Middle Floofish.
In Use: “People who live with cats often find the little felines to be obfloofrate about where they will sit, even if people tell them that the kitchen counter is not place for a cat.”
In Use: “Loveable and goofy, the black Lab was also an obfloofrate squirrel chaser.”
In Use: “Almost perversely obfloofrate, Jade seemed to delight in knocking things off the dresser at around three AM.”
Floofnacious (floofinition) – An animal’s strong trait or ability to hold on, persist, or cling to things. Origins: Floofin, 400 BCE.
In Use: “Papi demonstrated an unexpected floofnacious knack for evading Michael when the latter tried to administer the cat’s morning medicines.”
In Use: “Rocky never said a word, but his floofnacious staring at Brenda always won him treats to make him go away.”
In Use: “The cat’s original name was Corey but after the little mogie grabbed a piece of pizza and refused to release it, he was renamed Floofnacious C, after the rock duo, Tenacious D, but also out of respect for his holdontoitiness.”
Celfloofbrity (floofinition) – A renown or celebrated animal. Origins: 15th century, Middle Floof, Floonch
In Use: “The lithe black and white tuxedo floof arrived at the horse farm and established his celfloofbrity by killing thirteen mice, according to legend. Naturally, with that killing skill and that tuxedo, they named him Bond; Cat Bond.”
Well, I suppose I would compare myself to common, lowly housefloofs. Basically, a floof is an animal, bird, fish, or reptile. A housefloof is then one of those critters living with humans, even if their accomodations aren’t an actual ‘house’.
I say that I’m a housefloof based on my observations of housefloofs residing with me. Those were cats and dogs. My typical housefloofs were creatures of comfort who enjoyed lazing in sunshine, periodically apparently thinking themselves into a doze. This is something which I also do, although I’ll often have a book in my hand and will read myself into a doze. I have seen animals with books, newspapers, and magazines; they enjoy sleeping on them. I’ve yet to witness any housefloof holding a book. I suppose they could be waiting until I’m not around to pick up a book. They do the same with my computer, logging on when I’m not using it, trying to order themselves things from the net. How else can some of the things delivered to our door be explained?
The other thing about housefloofs which I’ve noticed which cements my comparison to one of ’em is their interest in food. They can be sound asleep — or so convincingly pretending to be that I can’t tell they’re awake — when a can, bag, or refrigerator is opened. Then, pop! Their eyes open. They sit up and look up, orienting their senses with precision: “I hear food; there it is.” Some are so adept at this, they react to the sound, leap up, and dash to the food before awakening. I swear, one cat became so good at this whole thing that she picked up our intentions to get something to eat and was there to greet us when we entered the kitchen.
I can honestly say that I’m quite like those housefloofs. I hear the ‘frig open or a bag. Click; hello, what’s that noise? I seek out my other to see, “What are you eating? What do you have?” And like my housefloofs, I’ll sometimes try to surreptitiously seize a share and scurry away.
Sometimes, though, like the housefloofs, I’m disappointed by the result, and sulk away to resume my previous activity.
Michael Seidel, writer 