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Confloofial (floofinition) – 1. Relating to, occupied with, or fond of being in animals company.
In use: “She was a confloofial woman, always with a cat or a dog, a horse or bird, a goat or llama, serene in their presence, as they were with her.”
2. Animals who get along with people or other animals.
In use: “Gregarious, outgoing, confloofial, the little dog never met anyone, on two legs or four, feathered or with scales.”
Flooftization floofinition) – An animal’s process of mapping places where they like to sleep, eat, play, or observe.
In use: “New pets in a home often embark on flooftization, walking around and sniffing, testing places for where others slept or sat, seeing if it would work for them.”
Floof Scooch (floofinition) – 1. Wiggling motion or crawling used by humans and animals to move closer to an animal.
In use: “Floof scooching across the bed, she kissed her cat’s exposed belly, earning her a raised head and bleary gaze that exclaimed, ‘Watch yerself.'”
2. Action by animal where they drag their behind across a surface.
In use: “After exiting the litter box, Tucker did a floof scooch across the office carpet, causing Michael to yell, “What are you doing,” while leaping up from his keyboard.”
Diasfloofa (floofinition) – The dispersal or spreading of animals, especially household pets, from one area into several additional areas.
In use: “With a heat dome in place, the animals ate and then a general diasfloofa commenced, with the home’s feline and canine members finding their own personal places to endure the heat in peace and comfort.”
Stereofloofic (floofinition) – Sound received from two or more disparate animals sources. When four sources exist, the sound is commonly referred to as quadrafloofic while source from one animal is known as monofloofic.
In use: “With a cat purring on either side of his head, Michael was treated to a stereofloofic session as he drifted back to sleep.”
Aflooftypmatic (floofinition) – Someone who shows no signs of having contact with animals.
In use: “Many people without pets are aflooftypmatic, showing up at work without fur (some call it hair) on their clothing, remaining quiet as others share floofnecdotes.”
Floofpitulate (floofinition) – To give in to an animal or to accept an animal’s choice or decision.
In use: “He wanted to get up but the cat wanted to remain in his lap, so he floofpitulated and took a nap.”
Unfloofgivable (floofinition) – 1. An animal that can’t be given away.
In use: “They called the puppy, part of a litter of rescued orphans, Smuckers, a name given by their youngest boy. He was supposed to be fostered, but Smuckers turned out to be unfloofgivable, remaining with the family for his life.”
2. An action or behavior toward an animal that can’t be accepted or tolerated.
In use: “As the Internet reveals videos of despicable treatment of animals, more activities once accepted as routine or normal, such as puppy mills, are now being blasted as unfloofgivable.”
3. Action by a human, especially a pet owner, deemed unacceptable by a pet.
In use: “The cat wanted bacon and wasn’t given any, unfloofgivable to her. In retaliation, she walked about, jumping up onto floofboten counters, knocking things off, nipping at ankles when people passed, and loudly meowing in complaint.”
Lollapafloofza (floofinition) – Four day private festival of animals, for animals.
In use: “Cats and dogs often disappear for a day or two during Lollapafloofza, worrying pet owners, but they generally safely return, leaving the owners to wonder where their pets have been.”
Michael Seidel, writer 