Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofpremacist (floofinition) – Person or animal who believes animals are inherently superior to other beings and should have control over them as well as greater privileges.
In use: “Being a floofpremacist, the dog refused to accept that mere people could sit on the furniture while he, an animal, was forced to stay on the floor. Thus, whenever given the chance, he asserted his rights and got right up there on the furniture.”
Floofbert’s Rules of Order (floofinition) – Reference guide used by animals to provide the orderly conduct of meeting with one another.
In use: “While Floofbert’s Rules of Order is accepted among many animals, especially housepets, a number of animals refuse to embrace the guidance, arguing that it is against the laws of nature. This is especially so among cats, who believe they are chosen by the gods to rule.”
Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.
In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”
Barfing Floof (floofinition) – Annual event among pets focused on art, self-expression, and self-reliance, highlighted by a period when they all start bringing up hairballs.
In use: “The annual Barfing Floof always troubled Michael. First only one cat participated but he apparently convinced the others that they should participate. At least it was just hairballs. Finely formed hairballs. He wondered how they did that. And why.”
Kibble Up (floofinition) – Floof slang (flang) for an animal who stops to eat ravenously while in the middle of another activity.
In use: “The puppy and kitten were battling and chasing, but stopped to kibble up when they veered near the food bowls.”
Floofeopathy Therapy (floofinition) – Alternative medical principles practiced by animals based on theories that animals can detect illnesses and diseases and help other creatures fight their medical issues and recover.
In use: “She, being human, wasn’t familiar with floofeopathy therapy, but a few days before she went to the doctor and discovered she had breast cancer, her stripped tabby and her miniature collie came to her, settled on either side of the affected area, and stared deep into her eyes. They did this whenever she rested, a routine that persisted until the cancer appeared to go into remission.”
Floofpetitive (floofinition) – 1. Action or activity persistently completed for an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “His floofpetitive routine began every morning with fresh water — two bowls — followed by the feeding of the three feline princes, and then the daily morning love session (each demanded private personal time to be petted and doted upon), and the litter box cleaning. The routine was done again in the evening.”
2. An activity or motion repeated many times by an animal.
In use: “Whenever Pam sat down, her cat jumped up on her lap and commenced floofpetitive grooming of her face and hair, often employing her paws to hold Pam’s head still.”
Sternflooftation (floofinition) – 1. Act of talking firmly or verbally disciplining an animal, especially a pet.
In use: “Despite Becky’s daily sternflooftation before she left for work, the cat and dog always got in trouble while she was away, creating mayhem in a bathroom, bedroom, or living room.”
2. An especially solemn or serious display by an animal.
In use: “After she pretended to throw the toy for the kittens, the three tabbies sat down in coordinated sternflooftation to stare at her.”
Floofdumb (floofinition) – 1. A person who is ignorant about animals and their needs and behaviors.
In use: “His major requirement for a new relationship (well, honestly, one of many major requirements) was a person who wasn’t floofdumb. Whoever he was with had to love animals as much as him. Yeah, that was a dealbreaker, he decided.”
2. Conduct, action, behavior or sound that leaves people speechless or amazed.
In use: “The cat darted pass and leaped into the air so high that witnesses were left floofdumb.”
Flooficane (floofinition) – An animal that makes a huge mess.
In use: “Little Max was a BIG flooficane — a category one beast — who left things overturned, destroyed, and broken on his floofpages through the house.
Michael Seidel, writer 