Tag: cat behavior

Entertainment

The royal clowder’s faces were grumpy. “I’m bored,” the first floof said. “This — ” He flicked a tail of disdain. ” — snow outside is ruining my day. There are no birds to watch, other cats to chat up, nor even squirrels to argue. I want sunshine!”

“I’m bored,” the second floof said as the third said, “I’m bored, entertain me.”

“Sorry, guys,” the man replied. “There is nothing I can do about it. Here’s some catnip and a couple stuffed mouses to bat around.” He walked off.

The floofs glared at his back. “I say that we replace him,” one said.

“Perhaps,” the second said. “Look how long we’ve had him, and he still doesn’t give us the food and treat that we demand.”

“Not to mention that he can’t do anything about the weather,” the first floof said.

“I’m bored,” the third floof said, and then assumed an attack position. “Wanna fight?”

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Door Floof

Door Floof (floofinition) – Animal obsessed with doors.

In use: “Tucker could not stand a closed door. Pantry, front, closet, the door floof liked to stand beside whatever closed door he encountered and demand the door be opened for him to look within. What humans didn’t understand was that he was checking for invaders from other dimensions. He didn’t want to do it, but it was his duty.”

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The Snow Effect

The little ginger feline galloped to the back door and loosed a demanding shriek.

The man strode to the door. “Are you sure you want out? It’s snowing out there, you know.”

“Meow,” the ginger replied in a determined tone.

“Okay.” The man opened the door.

The cat sprinted out, tail high, with a triumphant cry. The man watched as the cat took in the snow. His tail drooped, his pace slow, and his stride faltered. Stopping, he sniffed and stared.

“Want back in?” the man called with a laugh.

With a disdainful glance at the man, the cat hunkered down. He was an animal in his element. A little snow would not deter him from enjoying his wild side.

At least for a minute. Maybe two…

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Libflooftarian

Libflooftarian (floofinition) 1. Animal who enjoys minimum supervision, rules, or intervention by others.

In use: “Many cats are natural libflooftarians, eschewing assistance and ignoring rules, going wherever they want, doing whatever they wish.”

2. Movement which upholds maximum freedom for animals.

In use: “Libflooftarians stand against caged chickens, pigs, and cows, applauding such laws Proposition 12 passed in California in 2018, which requires animals be given enough space to stand and turn around, as a first decent step.”

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Replaced

The royal clowder summoned him to a meeting by the front door. The first floof said, “The weather outside is cold.” The second added, “It’s wet,” and the third went on, “And windy.”

“This must be stopped,” the first finished. “Fix it.”

“I can’t fix it,” the human replied. “I have no control over the weather, guys.”

Cat tails swished. “Silence,” the first floof roared. “If you can’t do it, we’ll replace you with someone who can.”

The three cats stalked off as the man laughed and shouted, “Go ahead and try.”

“Oh, we will,” the floofs replied. “We will.”

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Failure

The royal clowder gathered for the morning meal inspection. Knowing how critical the august felines could be, he followed the traditional instructions to the letter, calling them out by name as they sat and judged, enthusing about the food choice, opening the can with a flourish, and then placing it in three clean bowls and mushing it up for easy devouring.

Next was the important step. With a deep breath to calm his nerves, he ceremoniously turned and set the bowls down by each cat, reverently speaking their names as he did, “Boo, Tucker, Papi.”

The three stared at the bowls. Boo spoke for the others. “This again?”

Giving him lingering looks that reeked with disapproval, the three stalked away.

He had failed again.

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Schrödinger’s Floof

Schrödinger’s Floof (floofinition) – A pet who may or may not hear their name being called and who may or may not respond.

In use: “Every cat he ever had seemed to be Schrödinger’s floof, but that never deterred him from walking around shouting their name, although it did exasperate him and cause him to swear.”

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Floofnosticate

Floofnosticate (floofinition) – An animal’s ability to foretell events.

In use: “When the cat jumped up on the counter and began stalking items, the dog sat up with a soft, “Ruff,” and watched in amusement, floofnosticating that the cat was going to knock things over and get into trouble.”

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Floofstare

Floofstare (floofinition) – Intense gazing done by an animal to draw attention and to make others do their bidding. Floofstares can be enhanced by longing, such as a need for a treat or some attention, or emotions, such as anger because their food bowl is partially empty.

In use: “He was busy typing but the ginger boi settled in the office door and focused a floofstare on him. As time went on and the power intensified, he had no choice but to go do what the cat wanted because he could no longer endure the floofstare.”

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Flooftoon

Flooftoon (floofinition) – Drawings of animals depicting them expressing funny views or in humorous situations. Cartoons may be a series of drawings or animated.

In use: “Christmas trees and ornaments prompt many flooftoons about pets’ reactions to the holiday decorations, i.e., a dog complaining that he’s not allowed to have a stick in the house but people have brought in an entire tree, or a cat plotting to attack and destroy the tree and its decorations.”

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