The Cat Chant

Sung by three cats as a round

Entertain me

Cause I’m a cat

Entertain me

Not like that

Entertain me

With a toy

Entertain me

That was just a ploy

Entertain me

With a song

Entertain me

That one is wrong

Entertain me

Let me out

Entertain me

Just not now

Entertain me

Scratch my head

Entertain me

Touch me now and you’ll be dead

Entertain me

Give me food

Entertain me

I’m not in the mood

Entertain me

Because I’m bored

Entertain me

My life is such a chore

Entertain me

Cause I’m a cat

Entertain me

Not like that

March 10, 2022 2

Flooftulate

Flooftulate (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s claim as true, existent, or necessary.

In use: “She opened the bag of chips, and the dog immediately flooftulated that she was going to share with him.”

2. To surrender, give in, or yield to an animal’s will.

In use: “She tried telling her dog that chips aren’t good for him, but those eyes, so she flooftulated and fed him chips as she munched.”

March 8, 2022 0

Floofsessive

Floofsessive (floofinition) – Object or person which an animal claims for their exclusive right.

In use: “Flash was floofsessive of not just her human, but the yard and the house where she resided with the human, issuing warning growls through the window to everyone from mail and delivery people to passing birds, squirrels, cats, and dogs.”

March 7, 2022 0

March 3, 2022 1

March 1, 2022 1

February 28, 2022 0

Floof School

Floof School (floofinition) Institution which has been guiding and instructing animals for living with humans for centuries. Although primarily dominated by cats and dogs deciding to become pets, enrollment has spiked, with a huge and diverse student body, as human’s activities encroach on animals’ habitats, forcing the animals to learn how to live with humans.

In use: “There are courses of studies for cats, dogs, and other creatures to become pets, but the Floof School has noticed that many animals are taking other species’ courses, with, for example, a Dachshund enrolled in the cats’ courses, and a Siamese auditing the German Shepherds.”

February 28, 2022 2

February 27, 2022 2

Flooftap

Flooftap (floofinition) – 1. Gesture used by animal or human to attract the other’s attention.

In use: “Michael used a flooftap on Boo’s back to get the cat’s attention, but was quick — the cat was notorious for whirling and whipping up a disapproving paw, claw extended, without notice.”

In use: “As Michael went about cleaning food bowls prior to replenishing them, Tucker gave his foot a flooftap in passing, like, buddy, can you spare a kibble?”

2. Water faucet where a pet likes to drink.

In use: “Bobbi washed her hands, opened the bathroom door, and was immediately confronted by the Sweeney’s large Golden Retriever, ready to come in to use the flooftap for a drink.”

February 26, 2022 2

Clausfloofphobia

Clausfloofphobia (floofinition) – 1. Extreme concern or fear about an animal being locked up in a confining space.

In use: “Many pet owners experience clausfloofphobia when it comes to putting their fur friend into a small kennel or carrier to take them to the vet. It never helped that the animal cried, whimpered, or meowed like it was the end of the world.”

2. Deep-seated worry that an animal is locked up or trapped somewhere.

In use: “When Beda’s cat disappeared and didn’t come to her calls, clausfloofphobia kicked in as she feared that he was trapped in someone’s house or car.”