Winter Solstice’s Bumper Sticker
This one cracked me up, with echoes of “Red Dwarf” to it. I can imagine Kryten saying, “The future is now. No, wait, now that’s the past. Now it’s the future. Darn, missed it again. You’ve got to be quicker, sir.”

Wednesday’s Bumper Sticker
I’m curious about the genesis of this one. Makes you speculate, though….
Having secured the windows, and alone in his house, he opened the secret compartment that held his coffee stash. Breathing deeply of the smell released, he gasped with delight. It’d been two days, and he needed a cuppa.
Pounding on the door kicked his heartbeat into a gallop. Closing the compartment, he waved away the smell. Thinking more clearly, he turned on the exhaust fan.
They pounded again. As he said, “Coming, just a minute,” a woman on the other said side, “Caffeine police. Open the door, or we’re kicking it in.”
The day he’d feared had arrived.
Tuesday’s Bumper Sticker
I’m not good at this. I have too much furniture, too many articles of clothing, pairs of shoes, and toys, and I’m too spoiled to give them up.