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Floofviance (floofinition) – 1. Changing routines to accommodate a pet’s behavior, presence, or condition. 2. A pet’s action or behavior that violates the household rules.
In use: “Tail wagging, Samwise rounded the corner and trotted toward Becky. Leaping up without a sound, Pearljam swatted Samwise’s nose. As the beagle yelped and darted back, Becky grabbed the squirt gun and prepared to address Pearljam’s floofviance.”
Floofmoxed (floofinition) – 1. To bewilder or confuse an animal. 2. Being confused by a housepet.
In use: “Seeing her twin sister for the first time, Bear sat back, floofmoxed, and cautiously sniffed as the two women laughed from the room’s opposite ends.”
Floofhole (floofinition) – 1. An obnoxious pet who seems deliberately contrary and unruly, often bothering and annoying others. 2. A pet who seems insatiable.
In use: “A big dog, he ate with gusto and ran with energy, a floofhole who seemed to swallow cans and bags of food without noticing, trying to eat everything else within reach, too. Nothing was safe.”
Flooforder (floofinition) – the regular or normal functions done for pets.
In use: “In many homes, the natural flooforder is to feed the pets before anything else when they got up, other than relieving themselves. The pets often won’t permit any other flooforder.”
Exfloofvert (floofinition) – 1. A person who is outgoing or overtly expressive when they encounter an animal. 2. An outgoing or overly expressive animal.
In use: “Little Bit was waiting for him when he opened the door and entered. The two, who’d been reticent since he’d left that morning, became joyous exfloofverts as Bit purred and meowed, and he laughed, stroked her, and told her how pretty she was and how much he’d missed her.”
Floofpose (floofinition) – 1. When a housepet seems to strike a pose while in the middle of doing something else. 2. The way housepets lay while sleeping.
In use: “The tortie was washing her face, and the lab was crossing the living room when both floofposed in the middle of their respective acts, bewildering their human. “What is it?” she said. “What do you see?” As if shrugging, the cat resumed watching and the dog continued to the pet door.”
Habflooftual (floofinition) – customary or regularly practiced manner for interacting with housepets or animals.
In use: “Seeing a dog kicked his habflooftual responses in, and he’d immediately drop down to his knees to say hello, and if the dog was willing, and it was permitted, to give the dog a few ear skritches.”
Floofaby (floofinition) – a song sung to housepets, typically when a loving session takes place.
In use: “When petting his cats, he would often sing a floofaby and scratch their ears, reveling in their purrs and soft fur as they curled up against him and went to sleep.”
Michael Seidel, writer 