Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Unflooftested (floofinition) – Objects, locations, or people who have never been exposed to animals once they’ve been acquired as new.
In use: “She worried about her new black sweater and how it would fare; Kathryn had two cats and one dog, and the sweater was unflooftested.”
He knew their faces, knew them well,
saw them every day.
When they weren’t present on their appointed time,
he always wondered about their fate.
They never looked at him,
when he was looking at them,
and never shared a sound;
not hello, good-bye, or how’s the weather,
their lips were sealed against verbs and nouns.
They were his daily companions,
he knew them well,
saw them every day,
and knew the gulf between him and them,
and wondered why it wouldn’t go away.
Sunfloof (floofinition) – Animals who enjoy lazing, lounging, or sleeping in pools of sunshine, move with the sun across spaces, or sit with their face to the sun.
In use: “Five cats and three dogs, and all were dedicated sunfloofs, moving across the patio to remain in the sun, as if they’d cease to be without sunshine.”
Unfloofable (floofinition) – Animal behavior marked by supreme self-confidence, surety, and self-control.
In use: “The ginger boys were in a vet’s office for their check-ups after a thirty minute car ride, but purring and unfloofable, they looked as if they sat on their own porch, surveying their domain.”
Floofistry (floofinition) – A housepet’s subtly deceptive reasoning, persuasion, or argumentation, usually conveyed by using big eyes, purring, or soft whining.
In use: “When he got his sandwich, he knew he’d succumb to his pet’s floofistry, so, planning ahead, he made two additional plates with lunch meat on it – one for the cat, and one for the dog.”
Floofper (floofinition) – An embarrassing (and often comical) mistake done by a pet.
In use: “The dog rushed in, tried to stop, and slid across the hardwood floor, crashing into the a bookcase, sending books flying. Ignoring the floofper, he stood off, shook himself off, trotted to the other side of the room and sat down as if nothing had happened.”
Exfloofsive (floofinition) – An area, period, or activity established or reserved for animal use.
In use: “She hadn’t planned it, but Caramel made every evening at eight PM his exfloofsive time, fetching his brush without being told, bringing it to her, and sitting down before her, waiting to be brushed, with his bright eyes telling her, “You know what you must do.” Resistance wasn’t even considered.”
Spokesfloof (floofinition) 1. The outspoken pet that answers for the group when their people talk to them. 2. Persons, groups, or organizations that speak up on the behalf of animals to gain protections and rights.
In use: “Arriving home and seeing his menagerie, he always asked, “Who’s hungry?” Jade appointed herself as spokesfloof to reply, “Meee,” but the rest generally agreed with her after a few seconds.”
NIMB (Floofintion) – Acronym that means Not In My Bed, employed by housepets to register their disdain for anyone/thing disrupting their slumber.
In use: “Raising her head, she issued a plaintive NIMB growl when another animal jumped onto the bed. The other immediately fled.”
Flooftub (floofinition) – A typically wide, open, deep, and round container used for holding water, growing plants, etc., repurposed by pets as sleeping, hiding, and playing spaces.
In use: “During hot days, Ashley converted the main tub into a flooftub, stretching her long furry body out along the cool, porcelain bottom for afternoon naps that none dared to interrupt.”
Michael Seidel, writer 