A Truth

My wife revealed a truth about myself that I didn’t know. I said, “Have you tasted the potato salad?”

She answered, “No, what’s wrong with it?”

“That’s a weird response.”

“Well, that’s what you say when you don’t like something or think it tastes funny.”

“Do I?” She was right. When I like something, I just say that. But when I don’t like something, I seek validation that someone else doesn’t like it.

I liked the pot salad, though. Was this then an exception to my approach to food, a new beginning, or just the way it’s always been, unnoticed among my general idiosyncrasies?

Floofpendent

Floofpendent (floofinition) – A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by an animal.

In use: “She wanted to travel more but lived with a man who was floofdependent. They could (and did) take the Jack Russell (Joey) with them, but the cats (Oswald, Jorge, and Truthiness) always needed a carer whenever anything more than an overnighter was planned.”

Call It Saturday

Today feels like Saturday.

So did yesterday, and the day before. I suspect that tomorrow will also feel like Saturday.

Lot of reasons exist for my feelings about the days of the week. One, I’m a writer. I write every day. I retired from outside employment a few years ago. My days of the week stopped being labeled work days and non-work days.

Two, I stream, and watch little broadcast television. I’ve been streaming for ten years, and cut the cable nine years ago. That means that I’m not looking at any guides or schedules to see what’s on television, which was always guided by the day of the week. For example, I don’t think, “If this is Thursday, then a new episode of X will be on.” I wait until all episodes are out and then I start streaming them on my schedule when they’re available. When they’re out depends on a date, not a day of the week.

Three, COVID-19, of course. The pandemic and the actions being taken to flatten the curve has dramatically affected social activities. Hence, we’re no longer going out dancing at the lake on Saturday night or heading for beer on Wednesday night, erasing another reason for tracking what day it is.

Four, it feels like Saturday because of my conditioning. Back when I did work, Saturdays were days for doing errands and chores. It was also a day for sleeping in a bit. No need to leap out of bed, do some quick exercises, eat, shower, dress, jump into the car and hurry to work on Saturday. I could catch another twenty minutes.

Everyday in COVID-19 land is like that now. There are chores and writing, but no errands. I can sleep in, if the cats agree.

The cats have never worried about the day of the week. To them, it’s always Caturday.

I get what they mean, now.

 

Floofzoid Personality Disorder

Floofzoid Personality Disorder (floofinition) – Uncommon condition in which people prefer socializing with animals and consistently shy away from interaction with humans.

Symptoms

If you have floofzoid personality disorder, it’s likely that you:

  • Prefer being alone with animals
  • Have and enjoy close relationships with animals
  • Have difficulty expressing emotions and reacting appropriately to situations unless you’re speaking with animals

In use: “You may have floofzoid personality disorder if you sit alone at parties until you see the hosts’ pet and become animated, calling it over, petting it, and playing with it.”

Floofdictable

Floofdictable (floofinition) – Behaving in a way that’s expected for an animal.

In use: “It was floofdictable for the cats and dogs to saunter into the kitchen when Suzanne opened cupboards to find snacks, but her husband also came.

“He was becoming as floofdictable as their pets.”

Floofmidity

Floofmidity (floofinition) – A humid warmth generated by having one or more animals resting on or against a person.

In use: “Despite a cramping leg and rising floofmidity that made him feel hot and sweaty, he didn’t move, unwilling to disturb the cat and dog using him as a mattress.”

Floofcialize

Floofcialize (floofinition) – Animal’s friendly participation or interaction with other animals or people.

In use: “Although the kitten was six weeks old and had been living rough on the streets, he floofcialized within an hour, rumbling up to the German Shepherd for companionship, playing with resident queen feline in another hour, and comfortably napping with his new human friends within three hours. By the next day, it seemed like he’d always been there.”

Nofloofobia

Nofloofobia (floofinition) – The fear that there won’t be any animals.

In use: “Suffering from nofloofobia, she, aided by her husband and children, constantly saved animals, averaging an animal a week, ignoring their species, or the costs, attending to their needs and injuries, trying to keep the Earth populated with animals.”

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