“Why You Procrastinate”, NYTimes
Cancflooflation (floofinition) – An event, plan, action, or activity that is stopped due to an animal.
In use: “They’d planned to clean the house but a cancflooflation was made because the cat and dog were sleeping together in a long patch of sunshine and looked so darn cute.”
Tuesday has come upon us, sunshine, clouds, and wind in my region. Looks like an artist took spray cans of gray, blue and white and began spraying, but ran out before anything was finished. The temperature is a comfortable 50 F although the wind has a bite that’s worse than its bark in the way that some wintry winds can manage. The weather prognosticators claim that the high is going to be 50. We’ll see.
But, happy solstice! Yes, it’s December 21st. Some years it’s on the 21st, others, it’s on the 22nd. Don’t know what it is this year, but this is supposed to be our shortest period of daylight. Previous years of observations show that, no, it probably won’t be. But we celebrate solstice as a holiday in our household, picking it up from the pagans. It’s all about meeting with friends, eating earthy foods, drinking wine, making wishes for the future, and stoking a fire against the cold darkness.
For the record, today’s sunrise was 7:36 AM and sunset is scheduled for 4:42 PM.
Today’s song comes from reading various accounts of people who dismissed COVID-19, dissed wearing masks, scoffed at the vaccines, and smirked at social distancing. Then, some — can’t say how many — contracted the virus, and went through some horrible shit, becoming hospitalized and intubated. Then — can’t say how many — some died, leaving relatives to write the follow up posts. Moms, fathers, sons, and daughters.
Out of that stew of reading and thinking about learning and not learning, arose Alanis Morissette with “You Learn” from Jagged Little Pill (1996). What’s ironic about this release (sorry about that) is that the other side of this single (what a quaint idea that is now, the flip side of a single record) was a song called “You Oughta Know”, an angry, sexually explicit rage-on about a terminated relationship that swept across the country. It’s ironic because it was the B side. The A side is supposed to be the major hit.
The lyrics that inspired the song for today:
Here’s the music. Stay positive, test negative, wear a mask as need be, and get the vaccine and boosters when you can. Don’t force another to finish writing your story. Now, I need to rescue a lonely cuppa coffee from the kitchen. It’s my good deed for the day. Cheers
Flooflovian (floofinition) – Relating to classical conditioning conducted by an animal to create a predictable behavioral pattern.
In use: “The rescue cat, Elsa, was a flooflovian master, teaching her new ‘master’ to share her food, surrender her pillow, and generally do as the cat desired, mostly through purrs, gazes, and quiet meows.”
Floof face (floofinition) – 1. Expressions made when speaking with animals.
In use: “Seeing the ginger tabby wander into the dining room, she put on her floof face. Her eyes got big, lighting up from behind their brown irises. Dropping to one knee, she extended a hand and started speaking in a gentle, sweet tone associated with talking to infants.”
2. The acquisition of animal fur on cheeks, chin, forehead, etc.
In use: “His dog, god love him, always joined him in a nap, which both enjoyed, but afterward, he always had a little floof face in a ball of dog hair tangled up in his short beard. He learned on getting up, to look in the mirror and groom such collections off.”
Exflooftrate (floofinition) – 1. To remove oneself from an animal with stealth.
In use: “Many people fall asleep and awaken to find a favorite pet asleep with them, looking as sweet as fresh cinnamon rolls, forcing them to exflooftrate themselves so as not to disturb their slumbering fur friend.”
2. To covertly or surreptitiously move an animal, preferably without disturbing them.
In use: “The sick dog was asleep on the floor. She exflooftrated her canine friend to the bed, where a heating pad would help warm his tired, old body.”
Cafloofdling (floofinition) – Engaging in amorous but non-sexual embracing, caressing, and kissing with an animal.
In use: “Many people end up cafloofdling with their pets when they get home after a long day out, finding comfort and satisfaction with the animals’ expressions of joy that their people are home once again.”
Comflooftable (floofinition) – 1. Sharing or enjoying comfort with an animal.
In use: “He was at his best being comflooftable with his cats, watching telly with them curled up and asleep on his lap.”
2. An animal’s state when feeling secure, contented, and safe.
In use: Finding himself comflooftable, the puppy closed his eyes, sighed, and went to sleep.