The Lawyer Dream

Dreamed I was a lawyer. But the courtroom looked like a giant, lit tic-tac-toe, noughts and crosses, or Xs and Os. Standing before the court, it towers over me and my partner, a woman (no one recognized from life) and appears about five stories high. Instead of three across, it was five across.

There’s no idea what the trials were about. I was in a dark suit and carried a brief case, and she was in a light blue skirt and jacket, also carrying a brief case. Presenting arguments meant providing cubes. I’d just put it up there and the cube would slot into place. Putting two in a row meant I’d created a strong argument and would cause those two cubes to light up. Three in a row meant I won.

I kept winning with ease. More and more opposing lawyers rose to stop me but I kept winning. “This is ridiculous,” I told the woman accompanying me.

“I know,” she answered. “It seems like a waste of time. Do you want to go?”

“Sure.” We left.

The cube idea reminded me of how cases were argued in a 1974 novel by Lloyd Biggle, Jr., called Monument, except the cubes in my dream were much, much larger.

Sunday’s Theme Music

I’d been writing and reading yesterday. Returning to this world was like being a ball and having all my air slowly released. I felt disconnected and out of sync, and wanted to return to the book worlds.

There were things to do. Eating, errands, housework. When I drift off into the writing/reading world like this, my wife seems to grow annoyed. I suspect she wants me to do more around the house, be more social, talk more. This is how she defines humans and husbands, so I end up being short on both scales. I’m happy but she’s resentful. Or so it feels.

A song from my youth answered my thoughts. “Eight Miles High” by the Byrds came out in 1966. I was ten. Its psychedelic sound appealed to me back then. So did the lyrics, which come into play with my feelings.

Eight miles high, and when you touch down
You’ll find that it’s stranger than known

h/t to Genius.com

Yeah, I felt like I’d touched down, and it all seemed strange.

Thursday’s Theme Music

“It’s that time of month.”

It’s not a monthly thing, but a cyclic thing, this periodic slide into a dark trough. I feel it as it comes on. It feeds my bitterness (or I feed it), despair, and frustration. I think, I’m a terrible writer, person, husband, son, and man, a waste of air, space, and energy, and the world is a shitty place.

I know it’ll pass. While it’s happening, I need to keep a check on myself so I don’t do lash out or burn my world down. It’ll pass, you know? But at least twenty-four to thirty-six hours of it are a deep abyss.

So, mood music is required for this shit. Today’s choice (probably used in the past, but I didn’t check, because — mood) is “On the Dark Side”, by John Cafferty & The Beaver Brown Band, as heard in the 1983 movie, Eddie and the Cruisers.

Let the merriment begin!

 

Wednesday’s Theme Music

One of my favorite songs is featured in my music stream today. “Lido Shuffle” by Boz Skaggs was released in 1977. I was immediately enamored. I like that refrain, “One more for the road” that he sings out. Although it sometimes comes out when I’m having a drink, more often it’s about trying again for me. That goes back to another part of the song.

He said one more job ought to get it
One last shot ‘fore we quit it
One more for the road

h/t to Genius.com

“One last shot ‘fore we quit it.” Put that on my death marker. (I plan on cremation, so just mention it when my ashes are spread. Don’t have a preference about where they’re spread; I’m stardust, and I’m already everywhere.)

I don’t like givin’ up, damn it. I’m always for trying one more time, but I don’t do it the same way; I think, what can I change? How can this be done differently?

I will often walk away, to think about it or let my brain work a problem on its own without my interference. I’ve often found success that way. It’s one reason why I enjoy working alone. Others will indulge in endless discussions about how and why. They want all answers given beforehand. I just like jumping in and doing it.

My attitude is a multifaceted plethora of clichés. A good plan now is better than a perfect plan later. Baby steps; make small changes and adjust. Don’t fear failure. If at first you don’t succeed —

Well, you got it. Please give the song a listen. It’s a jazzy, up-tempo ol’ tune.

And please wear a mask.

Having Fun

I’m having fun with my writing these days. I usually have fun but some days become more challenging and wearying.

Not so now. Still typing with one hand so I hunt and peck across the keyboard and through the story. Six hundred words a day is usually the sum of two hours of effort. My biggest typing issue is that my finger often finds the ‘y’ when I’m seeking the ‘t’.

The characters’ voices are strong and clear. I’m infatuated with the concept. Variations on it delight me as they spool out. Abetted by slow typing, I’m taking my time developing the story and building the plot.

It’s clear to me that I’m riding toward the peak of my up and down cycles. Dreams have been empowering, inspiring, energizing, and enabling, exhorting me to be positive and to not despair. It’s a pleasure when your subconscious becomes a supporter instead of a saboteur.

Got my coffee. Time to write like crazy, at least one more time.

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