Tag: animals

Floof face

Floof face (floofinition) – 1. Expressions made when speaking with animals.

In use: “Seeing the ginger tabby wander into the dining room, she put on her floof face. Her eyes got big, lighting up from behind their brown irises. Dropping to one knee, she extended a hand and started speaking in a gentle, sweet tone associated with talking to infants.”

2. The acquisition of animal fur on cheeks, chin, forehead, etc.

In use: “His dog, god love him, always joined him in a nap, which both enjoyed, but afterward, he always had a little floof face in a ball of dog hair tangled up in his short beard. He learned on getting up, to look in the mirror and groom such collections off.”

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Posse Floofmitatus

Posse Floofmitatus (floofinition) – Animals’ right and ability to summon others to their aid in preserving peace against criminal acts and to find, detain, and arrest offenders.

In use: “Before human domination arose, posse floofmatatus was used to by many world regions, with most animals as signatories, but human tendencies and cultural differences disrupted the legal framework, leaving species to mostly fend for themselves.”

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Floofnacular

Floofnacular (floofinition) – Animal’s ordinary speech and language which is specific to regions or species.

In use: “Although Max was bilingual, the dog sometimes confused what the cat, Snuffy, meant, due to differences in the floofnacular, but both continued learning and the differences didn’t prevent them from napping together. Nap was the same in both floofnaculars.”

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Infloofdelity

Infloofdelity (floofinition) – 1. A pet’s unfaithfulness to a single person or household.

In use: “Batman was originally Wade’s Corgi but after he started dating Lesley, the dog showed astonishing infloofdelity, jumping onto her lap and settling down with a smug look in Wade’s direction.”

2. A person’s unfaithfulness to one pet.

In use: “Carrie made space on her lap as she did every evening when she sat to read but instead of Jade leaping onto her lap, Crystal showed up, leaving Jade staring daggers at the shocking infloofdelity.”

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Floofsteading

Floofsteading (floofinition) – The space and adjacent area claimed by an animal as their private zone.

In use: “The cat was always floofsteading on whatever location he thought people wanted to sit — the desk chair in the office, a dining room chair when dinner was ready, the recliner when everyone moved into the family room to watch TV.”

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Floofpremacist

Floofpremacist (floofinition) – Person or animal who believes animals are inherently superior to other beings and should have control over them as well as greater privileges.

In use: “Being a floofpremacist, the dog refused to accept that mere people could sit on the furniture while he, an animal, was forced to stay on the floor. Thus, whenever given the chance, he asserted his rights and got right up there on the furniture.”

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Floofbert’s Rules of Order

Floofbert’s Rules of Order (floofinition) – Reference guide used by animals to provide the orderly conduct of meeting with one another.

In use: “While Floofbert’s Rules of Order is accepted among many animals, especially housepets, a number of animals refuse to embrace the guidance, arguing that it is against the laws of nature. This is especially so among cats, who believe they are chosen by the gods to rule.”

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Floofspection

Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.

In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”

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Barfing Floof

Barfing Floof (floofinition) – Annual event among pets focused on art, self-expression, and self-reliance, highlighted by a period when they all start bringing up hairballs.

In use: “The annual Barfing Floof always troubled Michael. First only one cat participated but he apparently convinced the others that they should participate. At least it was just hairballs. Finely formed hairballs. He wondered how they did that. And why.”

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Kibble Up

Kibble Up (floofinition) – Floof slang (flang) for an animal who stops to eat ravenously while in the middle of another activity.

In use: “The puppy and kitten were battling and chasing, but stopped to kibble up when they veered near the food bowls.”

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