Floofvertising (floofinition) – Employing the images, activities, or sounds of animals to engage prospective customers.

In use: “Tigers are popular creatures in floofvertising efforts, as their natural beauty, strength, and grace appeals to people who want to be like them.”


Floofgagement (floofinition) – An arrangement centered on an animal to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time.

In use: “Having so many animals – seven cats, three dogs, two birds, a rabbit, and pygmy goat — they naturally had many vet floofgagements.”


Floofweight (floofinition) – Weight that an animal seems to weigh when they don’t want to be moved.

In use: “The cat was a little ten-pound meatball of long fur, but she seemed to weigh about two hundred whenever anyone tried to move her. Of course, she also usually deployed claws, too.”


Comfloofications (floofinitions) – Ability among animals to pass messages to one another through one or more channels, such as smell, sound, or touch. Note: When done by cats via whiskers, sniffing, and rubbing, comfloofications is often referred to as catmunications. 

In use: “People approaching the bush upset the bird guarding her nest. Her comfloofications about an approaching threat caused a digesting deer to stand up and pay close attention.”


Floofquiry (floofinition) – An investigation or examination conducted solely by animals.

In use: “An empty box in the room’s center soon triggered the beginning of a floofquiry. The bird began the floofceedings by calling out, “There’s a box in the living room.” Within seconds, leading with their noses, two cats and two dogs appeared on scene as floofrensic investigators.”


Floofkate (floofinition) – Floof Goddess of Moon, Earth, and Time. Floofkate was one of the profloofitors of the original floof kingdom, and learned to harness quantum energy in a way that others see as magic. A persistent myth exists that Floofkate was one of the many animals which are mentioned in human legends, but no longer exist. Most frequently cited is the unicorn.

In use: “As animal consciousness grew, connecting to one another on a quantum level in exponential numbers, Floofkate’s influence increased. Soon, with her help, they began dominating the Internet.”


Afloofdala (floofinition) – Small, lima-bean shaped mass of gray matter located in the medial temporal lobes, that allow humans to emphasize with, love, and care for and about animals.

In use: “Surveys and interviews show that people with small or inactive afloofdalas often thought animals didn’t feel pain and lacked intelligence. Those with active afloofdalas reported otherwise. Interesting, but the size and activity of the afloofdala didn’t affect whether people kept pets, but it did affect how they regard their pets and how the pets are treated.”


Floofza (floofinition) – 1. A pizza made or bought specifically for an animal. 2. Pizza claimed by an animal for their own consumption.

In use: “His cats always wanted pizza, so bowing to the inevitable battle, he always created a floofza for their consumption. They still came after his pie, though.”

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