Tag: animals

Snowfloof

Snowfloof (floofinition) – 1. Animal who is fond of being in the snow. 2. Snow sculpture of an animal.

In use: “The little princess, Her Most Serene Highness – yes, that’s her acquired name – wasn’t a snowfloof, oh, no, not at all, venturing out once. With each step, she shook her her paws from that disgusting stuff on her tiny paws. Within two feet, she’d realized it was falling from the sky and landing on her, and no amount of licking was resolving the problem. Well, that was it. She bolted right back into the house, cleaned herself off, and glared death at the sky for betraying her with this falling wet stuff and hiding her sunshine.”

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Floofspeare

Floofspeare (floofinition) – A writer who is acknowledged as one of the world’s greatest and most prolific authors of all time, responsible for a large offerings of plays and novels, including The Merry Cats of Windsor, The Taming of the Poodle, Much PooPoo About Nothing, Rex the VIII, Fluffy the III, and the infamous Scottish play, Flooflet, about a terrier. Little is known about Floofspeare, and argument continues as to what animal or fowl Floofspeare was, and their sex.

In use: “Little is known of Floofspeare, leading to many fanciful works of fiction about the writer. Must well known is the series of nine books which began with the best-selling novel, The Secret Life of Floofspeare.”

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Pentafloof

Pentafloof (floofinition) – 1. A dwelling with five animals. 2. Geometric shape formed by five floofs. 3. Constellation of five animals that animals use to guide them.

In use: “The night had clouded over. The dog couldn’t see the stars and the pentafloof. She curled up in resignation. Despite her fear, and the worries that she knew her people would be experiencing, she’d need to wait out the storm before she could return home.”

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Flooflish

Flooflish (floofinition) – Official written and spoken common language of housepets.

In use: “When in private, that is, when Humans weren’t around, the dog, bird, and cat conferred in flooflish to decide what to do about the overheard plan for the Humans to sell their house and move to the city. Floofcon 1 was immediately declared.”

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Floofite

Floofite (floofinition) – Person who enjoys animals’ company, particularly housepets.

In use: “A floofite as young as three months old, she grew up with two cats, three dogs, goldfish, a cockatoo, parrot, and salamander.”

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Unfloofable

Unfloofable (floofinition) – Animal behavior marked by supreme self-confidence, surety, and self-control.

In use: “The ginger boys were in a vet’s office for their check-ups after a thirty minute car ride, but purring and unfloofable, they looked as if they sat on their own porch, surveying their domain.”

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Unifloof

Unifloof (floofinition) – Animals who hang around colleges and universitites.

In use: “Unifloofs were abundant, with unideer bringing their unifawns to mingle with the students, to unisquirrels racing across the campus and up trees, and, most popular with the students, unicats soaking in sunshine and knowledge while spying on the students to see what they were learning.”

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Five Times Too Many

It’s a sad situation; a neighbor ran over their cat while parking, the fifth time in my life that a friend or neighbor ran over their cat. 

This victim was a cat, but it can happen with children, dogs, and other animals and people. The situation begins with a routine, complacency, and an assumption: “He/she is always there. I expected them to move. They always did.” That assumption is a killer.

His name was Buddy. He was a small, elderly black cat. Probably weighed seven pounds, but had the voice of a lion. He was sweet, trotting over to me for a treat and a scratch when I came out to do yard work or go check the mail.

I wasn’t present when Buddy met his demise. The woman’s three elementary school-age girls were.

The temp was in the nineties. Maybe Buddy was hot or ill, or deeply asleep. Like each of the other four situations, Buddy didn’t move as he usually does.

Such accidents and deaths can be avoided. Don’t assume. Get the visuals. Take the time to confirm the cat’s location. Confirm that he moved.

It’s already happened five times too many to my friends and neighbors during my lifetime. Please learn from Buddy.

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Floofworld

Floofworld (floofinition) – a secret, non-profit vacation resort where people can interact with animals. Entrance to Floofworld is by invitation only, but people must log on and ask for an invitation, a strategy to protect Floofworld and its occupants.

In use: “Thomas took a deep breath, let it out, and sat back. After a decade of arcane research, he’d found the URL for Floofworld. Rumors always circulated that at least a pair of every animal that’d ever lived still existed in Floofworld, and that it wasn’t located on Earth. Grinning, Thomas clicked on the button to create an account.”

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