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Floofmentum (floofinition) – The impetus gained by an animal, especially a housepet, particularly when addressing how the animal joined a household or won someone over.
In use: “The giant parrot had to have once belonged to someone, but it’d landed in the yard and then invited itself into the house, and then, through floofmentum, came to be Lily’s best friend and constant companion.”
Flooflantis (floofinition) – A lost continent where animals established their first settlement after arriving on Earth. Highly advanced, Flooflantis was said to exist in the Atlantic Ocean and was lost for several eons due to tectonic shifts. Humans who later learned of its existence attempted to pass it off as a lost Human civilization, as people didn’t believe that animals could be so advanced and capable.
In use: “Learning of Flooflantis through guarded conversations with pigeons, squirrels, dogs, and cats, Francis Bacon adopted the tale, changing the name to Atlantis and populating it with humans.”
Floofbreak (floofinition) – 1. Taking a holiday or vacation away from animals, especially household pets. 2. A pet or animal’s escape from a place or situation.
In use: “Carole King made national news after her Border Collie’s floofbreak because Carole searched for fifty-seven days to find her friend.”
EVSEDA (floofinition) – Acronym for Enjoyable Vortex of Sharing Every Day with Animals. EVSEDA is an expression coined to summarize the multiple pleasures and occasional frustrations experienced when living with animals, especially housepets. The vortex aspect of the acronym is to express how animals can monopolize time, attention, and energy in surprising and unexpected ways.
In use: “They had plans everyday, but EVSEDA often derailed their intentions as the cats, dogs, and goats played and chased, loved and cried, demanded attention, and struck sweet poses. Neither of them minded at all. EVSEDA enabled them to escape the world’s craziness. Both were privately certain that without EVSEDA, they’d probably be insane.”
Cubbyfloof (floofinition) – Birds, fish, and animals, particularly housepets, who enjoy hiding in small spaces.
In use: “Spock, the large goldfish, was a true cubbyfloof. He loved wriggling into the tiny castle on the aquarium’s bottom, and was so adept at it, staying still and hidden within its confines for long periods, that people looking for him often wondered if he’d escaped.”
Macrofloof (floofinition) – A very large fish, bird, or animal, especially housepets.
In use: “Pancho, the Maine Coon Cat, was a natural macrofloof. Tall and long, Pancho weighed almost thirty pounds, but compared to his buddy, Cisco the Newfie, Pancho was almost a tiny beast. Almost. Cisco was a mega macrofloof.”
Floof-shaming (floofinition) – 1. Mocking an animal for their weight, body, infirmities, disabilities, shape, or color. 2. Poking fun of a person for their love and passion for animals.
In use: “Loving and owning animals sometimes leads to floof-shaming, when the owner’s relationship with their animals is called into question as signs of a mental or emotional problem.”
Floofling (floofinition) – 1. Animals who appear to be from Earth but are actually visitors from another planet. 2. Smaller versions of animals. 3. Romance between two pets.
In use: “The way his cat stared at everything, as though astonishment constantly coursed through him, made Drake wonder if Pluto was a floofling.”
“Despite never meeting, the ginger cat and the Himalayan began a floofling, waiting for one another to appear in the window each morning and then spending the day non-verbally communicating.”
Floofmarm (floofinition) – 1. A housepet who rigorously enforces adherence to a set order of activities and behavior. 2. A person who insists on specific and often ritualistic behavior by their animals.
In use: “The husky acted as a floofmarm, ensuring that everyone ate at their own bowl — something the cats didn’t readily appreciate — that all got out of bed when the women did, and that all went to bed at the correct time.”
Eflooftemology (floofinition) – The study or a theory of the nature and grounds of knowledge regarding animals, especially housepets or domesticated animals, with reference to the limits and validity of the knowledge.
In use: “Animals’ innate secrecy and their desire to protect their knowledge limits eflooftemology as animals often defy established ‘facts’ about their thinking, skills, and behavior.”
Michael Seidel, writer 