Tag: animals

Exfloofutive Order

Exfloofutive Order (floofinition) – Directive issued by an animal, particularly a housepet, that manages how circumstances or a situation are expected to be handled. Origins: 1904. Although many Exfloofutive Orders pre-existed, the first recorded Exfloofutve Order was written and numbered under the heading, “Care and Feeding of Animals in the Urban Household”, establishing by Exfloofutive Order by Mittens that, “…all animals dwelling with humans in Dayton, Ohio, will be given proper care and shelter, including meals, treats, brushing, bedding, and water.”

In Use: “Charlie issues a single woof each day at dinner, which became known as Charlie’s Exfloofutive Dinner Order.”

In Use: “Before going on vacation, Natalie regarded a list titled “Exfloofutive Orders”, which delineated how and what her cats, dogs, and fish would be treated and fed, along with where — because some of them were very floofticular.”

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Doggy Thoughts

My neighbor stepped out into her front yard. Cowdog followed her out, tail wagging like mad.

A woman was walking two dogs on a leash out in the street. Both dogs halted, forcing the woman to stop.

The dogs stared at Cowdog. I swear they looked like they were thinking, “Hey, that dog is outside and they’re not on a leash. How come we have to be on a leash?”

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Floofstalgia

Floofstalgia (floofinition) – 1. Emotional distress caused by worry about an animal. Origins: 2005 article, “Floofstalgia: a new concept in human and animal anxiety”.

In Use: “Brenda didn’t see Murder M, automatically triggering floofstallgia because this was not like Murder M at all.”

2. Fond reflections about a previously known animal.

In Use: “While searching for a pen, Wade discovered the purple collar Bella used to wear, soaking him with floofstalgia.”

3. Yearning for a time before living with animals, especially housepets.

In Use: “Sweeping up pet fur after cleaning up food bowls, floofstalgia raged in Carey — cleaning wasn’t as time consuming when she didn’t have pets!”

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Chablin

Chablin (floofinition) – A ‘chaos goblin’, slang for a high-energy animal who cause unending mischief in unexpected ways and place. Origins: Internet, first noted in the United States, 2024.

In Use: “Mario seemed like a quiet cat when Stan adopted him, but Mario quickly revealed he was a chablin, galloping around, knocking eggs and plants off, but winning reprieves with his sweet, deep purrs.”

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Floofbadour

Floofbadour (floofinition) – An animal who likes to entertain themselves and others with melodic or lyrical sounds. Origins: Floonch , from Old Floofcitan floobador, from floobar to compose, from Flooftin floopus trope. First noted in writing 1858, “Songs of A Traveling Floofbadour”.

In Use: “Starlight considered herself a floofbadour and especially enjoyed offering others her musical stylings at 3 AM.”

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Floofcedarian

Floofcedarian (floofinition) – Someone learning about the rudimentary needs of animals, especially housepets. Origins: floofcedary “floof primer” (going back to Middle Flooflish floofcedary, derived from Middle Flooftin floofcedārium). First known use, 1703 – “Practickal Advice for Floofcedarians”.

In Use: “After rescuing a vocal kitten from a heavy, Sly and Benji became overnight floofcedarians, chasing information on the net about to care for the first pet either of them had ever had.”

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Cats In A Glass Room

A cat dream came up last night. Featuring a recurring dream theme, I was living in a house. This house was first identified as being in Germany and it’s a real-life abode. Like the other dreams, it’s a house but connected to other houses via tunnels that I slowly find, open, and use, always doing so alone.

Though not much dream time is spent there, my house is comfortable with luxury accoutrements. The tunnels go down and are in good condition and clean. Along the way, I find glassed in rooms. A German neighbor is encountered and tells me that my neighbors have all been wondering when I would come down and use these rooms.

While exploring, I find stray young cats — black and white, ginger, tabbies, seal point, short and long-haired. Huddling together, they’re struggling to survive a storm of growing intensity. Night is falling and it’s getting cold. I open one of my glass rooms and herd them into it with little effort, then go off, returning with food to feed them.

A German woman goes by. At this point, I step out of the tunnel. Looking back and up the hill, I see my house on the crest and know that it’s in California. I register that without thinking it contradicting my earlier idea that it was in Germany. It’s perfectly okay that the house is located in both locations.

Returning into the tunnels and the glass room where the cats are, I run into the German neighbor again, getting rid of watermelons. I tell her that animals like the rinds, which surprise her. I put broken watermelons into the glass room with the cats. They begin eating and licking them and I leave to get them more food.

In the kitchen, I speak to my wife, in the other room, and tell her about the watermelon rinds and the neighbor. She’s amazed as me that she didn’t know that animals like the rinds. Taking cat food down to the cats, I watch the cats through the glass. A handful and a half of cats has grown to about fifteen. Among them, new kittens wrestle with watermelon pieces.

I go in. The cats run to meet me with happy meows.

End dream.

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Sunpudoze

Sunpudoze (floofinition) – An animal or group of animals, especially housepets, sleeping in a puddle of sunshine. Origins: 1909, Middle Floof floofmanteau, from sun +puddle +doze, initially appearing in Poor Fido’s Floofmanack.

In Use: “Eastern sunshine often poured into the pillowed space. Almost every morning, Soaps, Duds, and Laundry jumped up there, spending hours in a sunpudoze, where the dog and cats gently snored, making Suzanne smile in happiness and envy.”

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Floofeasance

Floofeasance (floofinition) – Misconduct or wrongdoing by an animal, especially a housepet. Origins: 1763, Flance, from floofaire to do wrong, from floo (animal) + faire, from Floofin, facere, to make or do.

In Use: “Coming home often led to findings of floofeasance in the house, but Sugar and Charley’s adorable expressions always saved them from being disciplined.”

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