Flooftirement
Flooftirement (floofinition) – 1. Withdrawing from activities, work, or social commitments to spend time with animals.
In use: “After more wearying, depressing news, he went into flooftirement with his cat, dog, and a book, figuring the world could go on without him but he couldn’t go on without them.”
2. An animal’s withdrawl or change of status from a working position or occupation.
In use: “He’d been a working dog, a service dog which gave his person needed emotional support, and when she passed on, he gratefully accepted flooftirement to a quiet home.”
Subfloofidant
Subfloofidant (floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.
In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”
Polyfloofmy
Polyfloofmy (floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Floofkrieg
Floofkrieg (floofinition) A fast and sudden animal attack.
In use: “Many people with young animals such as kittens and puppies are subjected to floofkriegs on their persons as the young floofs practice stalking and hunting to develop their bodies and improve their coordination.”
Floofsticate
Floofsticate (floofinition) – To live among animals or with animals, or to live a life involving animals. Not to be confused with floofticate. Related: rusticate.
In use: “The COVID-19 pandemic saw a surge in pet ownership as more humans chose to floofsticate with animals, a recognition of the warmth, comfort, and friendship that animals offer.”
Floofstress
Floofstress (floofinition) – 1. Force or influence caused by an animal.
In use: “Joan and Carrie would love to travel more but the floofstress brought on by adopting several special needs animals kept them at home.”
2. Pressure or anxiety brought on by an animal.
In use: “Whenever he’d not seen his cats for an hour, he went and found them, assuring himself that they were okay, alleviating the floofstress which he felt.”
3. Female animal who has power, authority, or ownership.
In use: “Moose outweighed his mother by two to one but she was the house floofstress, and he obeyed her just like the other ‘normal’ sized felines and dogs.”
Floof Squared
Floof Squared (floofinition) – Economic principle that costs involving animals will be exponentially larger than reasonably anticipated.
In use: “Knowing of the floof squared rule, Ron expected pet food to be expected, but with recent inflation, the costs of feeding his cats and dog were through the roof.”
Sopfloofrific
Sopfloofrific (floofinition) – An animal’s influence on making people sleep.
In use: “His dog and cat found him whenever he sat to read and climbed onto his lap, which became a sopfloofrific prelude to a nap.”
Floofship
Floofship (floofinition) – 1. A title of respect used to address an animal of regal manner or high standing.
In use: “Three cats shared the home with four days but only one cat was always addressed as ‘Your Floofship’ in recognition of her status within the floofhold.”
2. The state of affectionate companionship between animal and human, or between two or more animals.
In use: “Jennifer’s children had grown and begun their own families, and she’d been twice divorced, but now she found floofship with her dog, Uhtred, to be a most rewarding experience.”
3. A vessel or conveyance animals use to travel.
In use: “Every new moon, a floofship landed on Earth, delivering new animals to the planet, and taking others away for those ready to leave. So it had been since the first dinosaurs used a floofship to leave when they learned an asteroid was going to hit Earth over sixty-six million years ago.”
Michael Seidel, writer 