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Floofus Mirabilis – (floofinition) – A wonderful animal.
In use: “Many people think their pet is a floofus mirabilis, overlooking their floofgressions, such as stealing food or sleeping where they weren’t supposed to, which, though exasperating, was also charming.”
Floofserver (floofinition) – Floof expression for the human who feeds them.
In use: “Barb called the cats but she wasn’t the floofserver so they ignored her, waiting for Mitchell’s appearance, because he was their floofserver.”
Floofdegreen (floofinition) – Song lyrics deliberately misinterpreted or changed to be about animals.
In use: ‘He loved making up floofdegreens and sharing them with his cats, such as his take on “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”. In his version, it’s “A kitty went into the kitchen, he was looking for treats to steal, he was feeling fine, just marking time, and not willing to make a deal.”‘
Whether Floof (floofinition) – An indecisive animal.
In use: “Many people find their pets are whether floofs when inclement weather strikes, as the pets ask to go out, then see the bad weather, return back in, and then try another door, going back and forth, trying openings, wanting to be out, wanting to stay in. Some people even say that their whether floof is a weather floof.”
Flooftirement (floofinition) – 1. Withdrawing from activities, work, or social commitments to spend time with animals.
In use: “After more wearying, depressing news, he went into flooftirement with his cat, dog, and a book, figuring the world could go on without him but he couldn’t go on without them.”
2. An animal’s withdrawl or change of status from a working position or occupation.
In use: “He’d been a working dog, a service dog which gave his person needed emotional support, and when she passed on, he gratefully accepted flooftirement to a quiet home.”
Subfloofidant (floofinition) – Placed or occupying a lower class or rank, or considered an inferior position to an animal, particularly a pet.
In use: “Samantha always felt she was subfloofidant to her husband’s dogs — he had two — but he’d had them before he’d ever met her, but then he had to go away on business, and suddenly she and the dogs were having a love affair, and, well, the dynamics were pretty different after he came back, with him now living as the subfloofidant one.”
Polyfloofmy (floofinition) – Established relationship with more than one animal.
In use: “Many people driven by desires to save animals and give them a home or because they think their pet is bored, embrace polyfloofmy, but some do it because they find animals engaging, entertaining, and loving, and often prefer to be with them rather than other humans.”
Floofkrieg (floofinition) A fast and sudden animal attack.
In use: “Many people with young animals such as kittens and puppies are subjected to floofkriegs on their persons as the young floofs practice stalking and hunting to develop their bodies and improve their coordination.”
Floofsticate (floofinition) – To live among animals or with animals, or to live a life involving animals. Not to be confused with floofticate. Related: rusticate.
In use: “The COVID-19 pandemic saw a surge in pet ownership as more humans chose to floofsticate with animals, a recognition of the warmth, comfort, and friendship that animals offer.”
Michael Seidel, writer 