Tag: animal humor

Floofdant

Floofdant (floofinition) – 1. Person who is always telling stories or sharing facts about animals.

In Use: “A foster mother for kittens, puppies, birds — just ’bout any critter except humans — Jen could easily be drawn into being a floofdant via a question like, ‘How are you animals doing?'”

2. An animal who insists on doing things the same way every time, not moving until the matter is corrected.

In Use: “Queen Precious was a floofdant who demanded her food bowl be positioned just so, along with her bed, insisting that everyone go to the bed at the same time every night, becoming annoyed and vocal if this wasn’t observed.”

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Afloofaphobia

Afloofaphobia (floofinition) – A fear of running out of animals to love and enjoy. Origins: 2023 world wide web.

In Use: “Stricken with a mild case of afloofaphobia, Christian had an old dog, a young puppy, a parrot, and two middle-aged cats to keep him company. It was a crowded room when he sat down to write his novel every day.”

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Floof-adjacent

Floof-adjacent (floofinition) – Compliment among floofs that someone or something is almost as good as an animal. Origins: Early nineteenth century United States, esp. New England.

In Use: “The cats declared of their person, Jill, ‘The way she respects our needs, honors our rights, and keeps us well-groomed and fed, she’s as floof-adjacent as we can find among humans, so I say we keep her.'”

Recent Use: “The big ol’ house dog, Charleston, told the new foster kittens, ‘Look here, Richard is about as floof-adjacent as you’ll find. Once you have more knowlege about the people world, you’ll come to realize how fortunate you are.'”

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Filopolus

Filopolus (floofinition) – An animal who loves people. Origins: early 1900s, USA

In Use: “Eva was a popular filopolus, visiting with every and any person she encountered, but she was a misfloofynist when it came to animals.”

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Aflooessment

Aflooessment (floofinition) – Inspection and evaluation by an animal of another’s accomplishment or completed task.

In Use: “After Michael completed the jigsaw puzzle, Tucker completed his aflooessment of it, and then napped upon it, which is the official mark of approval.”

In Use: “Many floofs enjoy surprise aflooessments and will come check on people as they’re making the bed in the morning, ensuring that humans are upholding the floof’s high standards.”

In Use: “Always concerned that their people are eating well, house floofs will often attempt to taste the people’s food so they can conduct an aflooessment, but worrying about what grade their food will receive, people will obstruct the floofs’ tests.”

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Floofclipse

Floofclipse (floofinition) – An animal of such qualities or presence that it overshadows the rest. Origins: WorldWideWeb, 2024.

In Use: “Luna was a huge dog, with markings like a Holstein heifer. But it was his personality and intelligence, the way he looked and listened, as though he thought about what was being said, that really made him a floofclipse.”

In Use: “A ginormous but intelligent and sweet cat, Barnaby was a floofclipse that intimidated others with his presence, but he loved playing with anything and anyone above anything except lounging with other creatures.”

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Metafloofphosis

Metafloofphosis (floofinition) 1. A person who imitates animal behavior and sounds so often that they give the impression that they’re becoming an animal themselves. Origins: 15th century Fleek.

In Use: “Julie’s habits of barking to her dog in conversation and getting down on her hands and knees to play with him worried her husband, who often began telling others, ‘I think she’s going through a metafloofphosis and wouldn’t be surprised if she woke up as a dog one day.”

2. An animal’s change of attitude, behavior, or looks. Origins: 19th century American Floofish.

In Use: “Mahommes arrived as a young feral cat whose furious strikes and angry expression shouted, ‘Mess with me and I WILL DESTROY YOU.’ But with patience, food, treats, soft words, and time, he went into a metafloofphosis and emerged as a sweet, loving boy who enjoy laps and playing.”

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Confloofdant

Confloofdant (floofinition) – An animal to whom others entrust secrets. Origins: 1646 Middle Floofish

In Use: “The man was a paid killer but the only one who knew this was his cat, Stormy. The little black cat had been saved from the side of the road during a storm. He’d rescued the feline after killing an abusive husband for a woman in need. And that same night was when Stormy became Wilson’s confloofdant.” Excerpt from the novel, Confloofdant: The Cat Who Knew Too Much.

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Melfloofmene

Melfloofmene (floofinition) – One of nine Floouses who acts as a patron of arts, music, and creativity. Origins: Floofo-Roman floofthology, circa 8th century Common Floof (CF).

In Use: “When she began writing her novel, Sherman, her big dog, acted like Melfloofmene, going on long walks with her to think through her plot and characters, remaining by her side in her small home office as she wrote and edited, and forcing her to take breaks to feed him.”

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