Tag: animal humor

Floofturbance

Floofturbance (floofinition) – 1. The act of an animal interrupting an activity or a state of calm. Origins: 13th century, Flemish Floofish

In Use: “The summer’s peaceful evening broke up with a floofturbance out front as two dogs staged a bark-off.”

In Use: “Knowing it would gain attention they could leverage for what they wanted to get, the three house floofs comenced a floofturbance.”

2. Disrupting an animal’s repose or usual procedure or order.

In Use: “A glass bowl slipped out of Becca’s hands and fell to the floor, shattering with an ear-splitting sound and created a floofturbance which sent the cats and dogs sprinting in four different directions — except for Arnold, who leaped up and emphatically barked, “Woof,” just once.”

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Occuflooftion

Occuflooftion (floofinition) – An activity engaged with an animal. Origins: 14th century French floofish.

In Use: “Derek declared himself as ‘not a cat person’ to his wife but after the kittens came and demonstrated an aggressive and fearless willingness to attack anything, Derek’s primary relaxation at home became an occuflooftion like feeding the cats, playing with them, or napping together.”

In Use: “As Barb aged, she adopted an energetic puppy, and walking him become a time-consuming but enjoyable occuflooftion.”

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Humfloobo

Humfloofbo (floofinition) – A practice used by animals to help develop relationships with people. Origins: Old Floofish. Modern scholars theorize the word means ‘human-floof-bond’ but no evidence has been brought forward to support that idea.

In Use: “Humfloofbo evidence is experienced by many every day, and cell phones and social media help spread awareness of its existence.”

More Human/Animal Bonding…
Examples of Humfloobo.

In Use: “Many young floofs such as kittens or puppies attempt early humfloofbo efforts by nuzzling, licking, or biting humans while elephants will use trunks to stroke people as part of their humfloofbo.”

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Floofmerge

Floofmerge (floofinition) – 1. Cover with animals. Origins: 1697, widely used in Europe.

In Use: “People with new puppies or kittens can swiftly discover themselves to be floofmerged.”

2. A union of several animals, generally of different species. Origins: 1931, Budafloof, Hungary

In Use: “Animal Farm, an allegorical novella published in 1945 depicts a floofmerge on a farm where animals take over and rule.”

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Floofbat

Floofbat (floofinition) – Activity characterized by an animal battling a machine, mechanical device, or inanimate object. Origins: Internet, circa 2020-2024

In Use: “Refusing to yield to the robot floor cleaener, the cat engaged in minimal floofbat with it.”

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Floofnomen

Floofnomen – The name by which an animal or animals refer to people. Origins: Roman empire.

In Use: “Many people mistakenly believe that cats reduce people to their roles, i.e. can-opener or spare human one, but almost all floofs give human specific floofnomen, although the floofnomen can often translate to things like ‘primary food giver’ and ‘the door man’.”

In Use: “Michael didn’t know it but his floofnomen among his cats was Mrupew, which was like an amusing sound to him, but which translates to ‘warm body person’ in Floofish.”

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Winmace

Winmace (floofinition) – Expression of distaste or disgust displayed by animals when encountering wind.

In Use: “Dodger was never a wind fan, and the big lab would always winmace and bound back into the house whenever breezes began shaking the tree branches.”

In Use: “Winmacing, little Mae moved backward into the house when the wind hit her face.”

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Kama Flooftra

Kama Flooftra (floofinition) Ancient book composed by animals displaying positions used to scratch, pet cats, and sleep. Many animals study the kama flooftra in pursuit of living better. Origins: First noted in Mesopatamia in 600 BCE.

In Use: “Dixie was forever surprising her people with the positions they found her but they were unaware that she was a fervent fan of the Kama Flooftra, being totally unaware the book even existed!”

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Complefloofrianism

Complefloofrianism (floofinition) – Floofological view that animals have equal but different roles from humans in life. Origins: First used by The International Order of Floofs (TIOF) in 1988.

In Use: “As practitioners of complefloofrianism, Beth’s pets ignored her orders as they’d gotten together and elected one of their own, Beanie, as the house’s ruler, and limited Beth’s roles to cleaning and feeding duties.”

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Floofumnavigate

Floofumnavigate (floofinition) – 1. To go around an animal blocking a path. Origins: First use observed in England, late 1940s

In Use: “Most housefloofs scurry to safety when the vacuum cleaner or sweeper is powered up, but Onyx barely cracked open an eye, forcing Barb to floofumnavigate Onyx while cleaning.”

In Use: “Whenever meals were being prepared, Bishop planted his large body in the kitchen’s entrance to observe, forcing everyone to floofumnavigate the white dog’s mountain of a body.”

2. To follow an animal as though it is a guide.

In Use: “Floofumnavigating the yard behind Bailey was always fun and different as the dog zigzagged the landscape, nose down, sucking up smells and looking for sources.”

In Use: “Cookie was a superb mother, floofumnavigating the room as her kittens began their first waddling explorations under her unflinching vigil.”

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