Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofbadour (floofinition) – 1. An animal, particularly a housepet, who likes to sing by howling, barking, meowing, chirping, etc; 2. A person who likes to sing to animals.
In use: “Whenever he played his favorite album, They Only Come Out At Night by the Edgar Winter Group, his cat, who is apparently a floofbadour, runs in from wherever he is and begins loudly purring and meowing.”
Tummy being rubbed
Unleashes a primal urge
The hand is attacked
Machfloofnations (floofinition) – 1. A housepet’s scheming or crafty action or artful design intended to accomplish some end; 2. People’s scheming or crafty action to deal with a housepet.
In use: “Every time Bo saw Papi leave through the pet door, the big black cat would run over and lie down in front of it so Papi couldn’t return, part of the machfloofnations Bo employed to keep the little ginger out of the house.”
Warning the squirrels
Fantasizing about birds
A day as a floof
Floofdango (floofinition) – a foolish or useless act done by a housepet.
In use: “Among the dog’s many floofdangos was his willingness to charge the screen patio door and crash through it. They never knew the reasons behind the behavior, which is what made it a floofdango.”
Floofpectation (floofinition) – a housepet’s strong belief that something will happen; an attempt, through behavior or sounds, to make something happen.
In use: “He had a sandwich. The animals crowded around with floofpectations. In exasperation, he said, “This is banana and peanut butter guys. You won’t like it.” But with floofpectations remaining high, the cats started purring and meowing and the dog emitted a little, “Woof”. Sighing, he held the sandwich out for their inspection.”
Flooftonism (floofinition) – the philosophy of housepets, especially insofar as it addresses an absolute and eternal reality that revolves around being well-fed, napping, and having fun.
In use: “Although flooftonism doesn’t call for exclusion of others, Flash the cat* believes that other animals’ presence affects her pursuit of Floofvana.”
*With apologies to nan and Flash the cat.
Superfloofsition (floofinition) – in housepet quantum principles, the theory, practice, and observations that a housepet seems to be in two places at once.
In use: “She left Penny downstairs asleep in a sunlit living-room corner, but when she turned from opening her drawer to select her clothes, the little calico was sitting on the bed, watching her with luminous green eyes as its tail-tip tapped out a slow, amused beat.”
Hitchfloof (floofinition) – housepet’s mode of traveling by soliciting rides.
In use: “Beginning when he was a three pound puppy recovering from his horrid early life, the husky started hitchfloofing. Whenever they got up in the morning, the dog would jump up and go to one of them. Standing up on his hind legs with his front legs reaching up for them, he demanded to be carried around the house for a few minutes. Now that they were fifty years old and he was fifty-five pounds, it was harder to accommodate him.
“But they did.”
Floofbilant (floofinition) – adjective that reflects housepet’s jubilant expressions or feelings.
In use: “Looking around, she noted her floofagerie’s floofbilant floofmosphere. Dogs’ tails were thumping like high revving engines, the bird was hopping from foot to foot, and above it all was the cats’ melody of thrumming purrs.”
Michael Seidel, writer 