Tag: animal behavior

Floofble

Floofble (floofinition) – 1. A bauble that animals use as a toy.

In use: “Although he had tennis balls, and pull ropes, the big dog’s favorite flooble remained a small stuffed dog he’d acquired as a puppy. Old and worn, it’d gone through several emergency surgeries, but he remained devoted to carry it around with him, setting it down by his food bowl when he ate.

2. A gathering of animals who appear to be in discussion.

In use: “Three dogs and four cats sat in a loose circle in the back yard, a floofble that appeared in telefloofic communications.”

3. A mistake made by an animal.

In use: “The cat missed the jump, a floofble she covered by sitting down and vigorously washing her butt, as though it was responsible.”

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Floofpeasement

Floofpeasement (floofinition) – Policy of giving animals whatever they want just to keep the peace.

In use: “He fed the cats wherever they would eat, pursuing floofpeasement to keep them quiet, happy (and not fighting), and giving him space.”

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Floofpair

Floofpair (floofinition) – 1. Repair done under an animal’s supervision.

In use: “The photographer’s camera had malfunctioned, and as he worked on it, a red fox shaded up to his shoulder to conduct a floofpair.”

2. Two animals who are always together.

In use: “The elderly little brown dog – five pounds, soaking wet, on a heavy day and the twenty-five pound Norwegian Forest Cat were an odd floofpair, but ate, slept, and played together all the time.”

3. Domestic assistant from a foreign country who is hired to help with animals.

In use: “When he left Nicaragua and settled in the states, he’d not planned on life as a floofpair, but the arrangement of going around and tending people’s animals while they were away was a satisfying life.”

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Floofcetious

Floofcetious (floofinition) – Silly or humorous things done by animals at inappropriate moments.

In use: “They were making love, but the dog came up and started sniffing the man’s rear end, a floofcetious act that almost ended the mood — almost.”

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Floofclone

Floofclone (floofinition) – 1. Micro-weather event of great wind and noise caused by an animal, often a dog or cat tearing around a house.

In use: “Whatever the trigger, once a day, Rebel (who was otherwise a sweet and goofy (but very smart) German Shepherd) leaped up and caused a floofclone, expending energy until fur was flying everywhere, and then collapsing with a grin.”

2. Animals who resemble one another.

In use: “The gray cat had but two white pieces, which made a white handlebar mustache on her sweet face. Everyone thought Pearl was unique until her floofclone, Spike (a street rescue), showed up.”

3. A person who resembles an animal.

In use: “He was a quiet and reserved man, long-limbed, a floofclone with feline cheeks and eyes. It made her wonder if he had a tail.”

 

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The Piss Club

It’s their informal name for themselves, The Piss Club, an expression adopted from the humaverse because the floof think it’s so funny. (Do humans really think that animals are so interested in that aspect of their business? See how funny it is?)

The Piss Club’s formal name eludes translation from floofish. For humans (and the animals involved), The Piss Club is about ensuring that animals (or their allies) are present whenever humans do their business. In homes with pets, this is generally easily accomplished. Public facilities can be handled via rats, birds, flies, mice, spiders, etc.

Those places are not the problem, and it’s not about humans doing their business. It’s about verifying what they are.

No, the problem is those private places where pets don’t reside, where spiders and insects are stalked and killed, and mice are treated like vermin. Those places are the problem, because those people might be the beings that The Piss Club are supposed to on guard against. Masquerading as humans, those beings could destroy Earth; it is their stated intention, and they are here on Earth.

And, while floofs (except for dinosaurs) usually originated on other worlds (or other universes, in frequent cases) (funny how two beings, say two cats, can look so much alike and yet be from different universes) and arrived on Earth to expand their influence (and study other cultures and life forms), they’ve grown fond of those crazy creatures called humans, and would like to keep them around. Because, as the floofs have found, humans don’t exist anywhere else in any other universe (unlike dinosaurs, which seem to be everywhere), making humans very unique creatures.

That’s why The Piss Club watches.

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Pissfloof

Pissfloof (floofinition) – An animal who seems perpetually irritated without apparent cause.

In use: “Always growling and hissing — just walk by him, or make a noise — and threatening the dog and other cats with claws or a nip earned him the nickname Pissfloof (although she never called him that to his whiskers). But when he was sleeping, he looked so sweet (which was why she’d originally named him Prince Charming).”

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Party Floof

Party Floof (floofinition) – An animal who enjoys having a good time, especially by attending celebrations, a.k.a., party animal.

In use: “Whenever visitors arrived, Mr. Marbles rose, stretched, and joined the company, sniffing (as proper for these events), barking when they laughed, and generally emerging from his shell, transforming into a party floof.”

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Flooftier

Flooftier (floofintion) – An animal or pet separating two areas.

In use: “As he went to walk down the hall to make breakfast, his cat hustled into the hallway in front of him, creating a flooftier for him to cross.”

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“Floof Prairie League”

“Floof Prairie League” (floofinition) – Country-floof rock band whose origins go back to Yellow Springs, Ohio.

In use: “Floof Prairie League’s song, “Floofie” (1970), is about a cat, Floofie, who keeps going in and out of the house, frustrating its friend, a dog:

“I keep going in and out of the house with you, in and out of the house with you, don’t know what I’m gonna do, I keep going in and out of the house with you.”

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