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Floofzpah (alternative spellings: floofzpaw, floofzpa) (floofinition) – supreme self-confidence in an animal.
In use: “Demonstrating her trademark floofzpah, the tabby jumped up onto the dinner table, picked up a piece of fried chicken in her mouth, turned around, jumped down, and was dust before anyone could react.”
Floof Out (floofinition) – Animal who reacts to another animal with an overly ostentatious display.
In use: “A doe stole into the yard and began nibbling at the grass. Star rose up with an outraged howl and glared through the glass at the interloper. Sighing, Barb said, “Stop the floof out, Star. It’s just a deer.” Then she took a photo of the cat and deer and posted it on Facebook.”
Flafler (floofinition) – Interfloof shorthand for ‘flat floofer’, a term used for animals who usually flatten out to sleep.
In use: “Diehard roly polys — animals who curl up to sleep — sneer at flaflers, stretching out like they’re melting in the sun, exposing themselves to being touched without warning.”
Floofregard (floofinition) – An animal behavior act of treating someone or something as unworthy of regard or notice.
In use: “Pouring enthusiasm into his tone, he said, “Who’s hungry?” The cat responded with killing floofregard that culminated with a yawn before she commenced some idle grooming.”
Floofenant (floofinition) – A usually formal and binding agreement among housepets.
In use: “Floofenants are typically negotiated between pets regarding sleeping and eating arrangements, but cats, being natural floofnarchists, often violate the floofenants, stirring consternation in the other pets.”
Plooze (floofinition) – To play while lightly dozing or napping.
In use: “Young animals will often spend hours ploozing as they eat, grow, and master their bodies, antic that humans often deem cute, especially among kittens, puppies, and baby goats.”
Yawtch (floofinition) – act of simultaneously yawning and stretching before engaging other movement.
In use: “Many house floofs will yawtch, exercising their front legs with a yawtch, then the hind legs with another yawtch, immediately upon rising, although the yawtching might be quickened if food or treats are involved.”
Inner floof (floofinition) – 1. In popular floofchology, the animal being dwelling in people.
In use: “Although he could easily take up two airline seats and almost hit his head on the overhead storage, his inner floof is a meerkat.”
2. In analytical psychology, the an animal’s true animal persona.
In use: “Although kittens are small, many are born with a fearless lion or tiger as their inner floof.”
Efloofcidate (floofinition) – 1. To clarify or explain to an animal.
In use: “No matter how many times Jane caught the cat on the kitchen counter and efloofcidated that the counter was one of the places where he didn’t belong, he just kept going on it like he was making a point.”
2. To clarify or explain, by an animal to a human.
In use: “Whenever Jose went to see why his dog was barking, the dog immediately began efloofcidating to him about what was going on through yips and whine.”
Stop and Roll (floofinition) – Animal tactic often employed by pets to get humans’ attention. The measure usually requires the animal to get in front of the human, throw their onto the ground and then wiggle or roll around while giving humans smiles.
In use: “In secret ‘How to Tame Your Human’ sessions, puppies are taught to gambol about to get humans’ attention before executing the stop and roll.”
Michael Seidel, writer 