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One Floof Wrecking Crew (floofinition) – Floofdiom used to denote that an animal is extremely messy, causes trouble, or gets into mischief.
In use: “After puking up a hairball, Tucker suddenly became a one floof wrecking crew, letting out banshee yells while gallivanting around the house, stalking the other cats, and scratching his claws on the furniture, drawing Michael’s ire.”
Floofseat (floofinition) – The most enviable position, location, or opportunity for an animal.
In use: “Every home with pets ends up with a floofseat, where at least one animal is sure to be sitting or sleeping.”
Heterofloof (floofinition) – Animal who doesn’t act in an orthodox way.
In use: “Charlie was a heterofloof who enjoyed popcorn while watching television in the evenings, whose best friends was a squirrel and a bird who liked to visit him in his backyard, and the next-door neighbor’s Jack Russell.”
Floofniscient (floofinition) – An animal with infinite understanding, awareness, and insight.
In use: “From an age, the dog was floofniscient about what his people needed, and was readily able to give it to them, whether it was a hug and a lick to comfort them, or some silly behavior to make them laugh.”
Refloofvenate (floofinition) – To make young or youthful by adding an animal or being in an animal’s presence.
In use: “Many people have learned that sitting with their pet can refloofvenate them, but they’ve also discovered that adding a new young pet, such as a kitten or puppy, will often refloofvenate their elderly pet.”
Floofcall (floofinition) – 1. The sound people make to call animals or their pets.
In use: “Studies show that clicking their tongue or making a kissing noise are the most common floofcalls used in America.”
2. A video conference call dominated by animals.
In use: “I apologized for my cat taking over my screen during a Zoom, but then sixty percent of the people said their cats were also with them. In a moment, all the screens were cats, making it a perfect floofcall.”
3. A telephone call to check on an animal’s health.
In use: “After she put Chef Eddie in for surgery, she waited all day for the floofcall that came, telling her that her dog was okay.”
4. The sound an animal makes to attract attention from people or other animals.
In use: “Most people know the floofcalls that their animals make and what they mean: a special bark, meow, whine, or chirp informing their people, feed me, pet me, play with me, or take me for a walk.”
Floofbotic (floofinition) – 1. Related to or associated with mechanical behavior exhibited by an animal.
In use: “With floofbotic nonchalance, the cat jumped on the bed, walked up Adele’s body, sat down on her chest, and began tapping Adele’s nose.”
2. Human behavior conducted with characteristics associated with robots.
In use: “Mumbling and sighing, Adele fumbled out of bed, staggered down the hall, opened a can of food and fed the cat in floofbotic fashion.”
Floofbatical (floofinition) – 1. An animal’s break or change from a normal routine.
In use: “After raising her own litter, then a litter of orphaned kittens, then an orphaned puppy, Mamacita felt she deserved a floofbatical.”
2. A human’s break from taking care of, attending, or being with animals.
In use: “Both beloved dogs died of cancer in the space of three months, each after a short fight against the cancer’s growth. Izzy decided to take a floofbatical before bringing another pet into her life. Of course, she’d overlooked floofma, which delivered a new rescue into her life after just three days.”
Floofidiot (floofinition) – 1. A stupid or foolish animal.
In use: “Many are quick to label animals as a floofidiot when they’re really determined and fearless, like the kitten boldly scaling the curtains, because they’re there, but then can’t get back down.”
2. A person who goes ga-ga over animals.
In use: “Others started calling her a floofidiot behind her back because she was always donating food and supplies to animal shelters, sharing photos, videos, and stories on social media, and pampered seven pets of her own in her small ranch house.”
Cosfloofpolitan (floofinition) – 1. An animal who is free from bias toward other animals.
In use: “The jaunty little Rocky, a street rescue, was cosfloofpolitan, making friends with other dogs, but also cats, squirrels, rabbits, deer, mice, birds, and people.”
2. An alcoholic cocktail made with vodka, cranberry juice, an orange-flavored liqueur, lime juice, and pet hair.
In use: “Tana didn’t like cosfloofpolitans. She preferred hair-free and fur-free cocktails. But four dogs and four cats somehow sabotaged her efforts.”
Michael Seidel, writer 