Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofjustment (floofinition) – 1. A correction or modification to reflect sharing a home with animals.
In use: “Inviting a cat or dog into a home to live often requires floofjustments, and those floofjustments probably change as the animal matures and ages.”
2. An animal’s change or shift to accommodate a situation.
In use: “A new animal’s arrival often forces floofjustment on the current residents, such as sharing food and water bowls, or window and lap space.”
Refloofcussion (floofinition) – An animal’s response or reciprocal effect or action to others’ behavior.
In use: “With many cats, scratching their heads around their ears will earn a refloofcussion such as purring, but trying to rub their bellies might win more ominous refloofcussions, like a quick nip.”
Quick Paw (floofinition) – 1. Trick taught among animals. Along with Stealth Paw and Quick Bite, one of the preferred methodologies for stealing food.
In use: “The old dog quietly took the new puppy into his floofidence and showed him the Quick Paw, stealing a sandwich off a plate and making his escape before it was noticed.”
2. Legendary cat known for her fast slashing and ability to steal objects, especially food, in less than an eyeblink.
In use: “Some say that Quick Paw is but a myth, but others look around, see their food missing, and wonder.”
Floofsession (floofinition) – 1. Someone who has an inordinately passionate fixation about animals.
In use: “Her effort to rescue one puppy become a floofsession to find, help, and rehome strays and abused animals.”
2. A visit focused on seeing or socializing with animals.
In use: “Petting zoos are an effective floofession for young children, giving them access to different animals under supervised conditions.”
3. An object or activity which keeps an animal’s attention.
In use: “With birds and squirrels busy in the backyard, the cats and dogs all developed a floofsession for looking out the back window.”
Profloofsional (floofinition) – Relating or belonging to a floof.
In use: “Although profloofsional bedding has been purchased and set up for the pets to use, many of them view the bed and sofa as legitimate profloofsional places to sleep.”
Notflooftional (floofinition) – Existing in an animal’s mind only.
In use: “Many animals see notflooftional threats in noisy things like vacuum cleaners, and will disappear when the machine shows up.”
Floofwallow (floofinition) – (Floofchaic) Wearied or worn out by an animal’s floofturnal activities.
In use: “When the alarm went off, he didn’t want to get up, feeling floofwallowed after his cat’s two, three, four, and five o’clock energy floofbursts.”
The Floof Commandments (floofinition) – 1. The list of instuctions/guidance people give to animals about they want the animals to do, or not to do.
In use: “Whenever he let a cat out, he issued the Floof Commandments to be safe, be smart, stay out of the street and watch out for cars and trucks, don’t fight, stay close, and keep back soon.”
2. The instructions/guidance animals provide to people about what they want people to do, or not to do, and what the animals expect to be permitted to do.
In use: “The cat had firmly issued the Floof Commandments when she arrived: when you sit, she’ll take your lap (unless you’re on the computer, in which case, she wants the keyboard), the bed is hers (but if you’re nice, you can share it), all food belongs to her, and you’d better keep paying attention to her…or else!”
Floofsomnia (floofinition) – Inability to sleep, or tossing and turning at night, due to one or more animals’ behavior.
In use: “She was often suffering floofsomnia, with the cat rising at floof dark thirty to play and eat, and the dog taking up more of the bed until she found herself hanging on the edge.”
Floofvanism (floofinition) – Exaggerated belief in the superiority of animals.
In use: “As greater acts of kindness and intelligence are videoed and shared on the net, like animals saving other animals from drowning, or cats rescuing puppies (and dogs saving kittens), a commiserate rise in floofvanism has been observed.”
Michael Seidel, writer 