Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Floofspringa (floofinition) – Rite of passage in a young animal’s life commemorated by running briskly around, jumping, and making substantial noise. Rutting might also be involved. Also sometimes spelled Floofschpringe or Floofshpringa.
In use: “Cats, of course, never keep to a standardized calendar or date regarding Floofspringa, going Floofspringa nuts whenever the impulse seized them, which was often while humans are asleep and the sun is below the horizon.”
Posse Floofmitatus (floofinition) – Animals’ right and ability to summon others to their aid in preserving peace against criminal acts and to find, detain, and arrest offenders.
In use: “Before human domination arose, posse floofmatatus was used to by many world regions, with most animals as signatories, but human tendencies and cultural differences disrupted the legal framework, leaving species to mostly fend for themselves.”
Kuma Flooftra (floofinition) – Ancient book providing animals with guidance on sleeping positions, sexual positions, and general well-being.
In use: “Grace embraced the Kuma Flooftra after the cat showed it to her, testing new sleeping positions and following tips such as eating grass, but the beagle shied away from the sexual positions. After all, she had been ‘fixed’.”
Infloofdelity (floofinition) – 1. A pet’s unfaithfulness to a single person or household.
In use: “Batman was originally Wade’s Corgi but after he started dating Lesley, the dog showed astonishing infloofdelity, jumping onto her lap and settling down with a smug look in Wade’s direction.”
2. A person’s unfaithfulness to one pet.
In use: “Carrie made space on her lap as she did every evening when she sat to read but instead of Jade leaping onto her lap, Crystal showed up, leaving Jade staring daggers at the shocking infloofdelity.”
Floofsteading (floofinition) – The space and adjacent area claimed by an animal as their private zone.
In use: “The cat was always floofsteading on whatever location he thought people wanted to sit — the desk chair in the office, a dining room chair when dinner was ready, the recliner when everyone moved into the family room to watch TV.”
Floofpremacist (floofinition) – Person or animal who believes animals are inherently superior to other beings and should have control over them as well as greater privileges.
In use: “Being a floofpremacist, the dog refused to accept that mere people could sit on the furniture while he, an animal, was forced to stay on the floor. Thus, whenever given the chance, he asserted his rights and got right up there on the furniture.”
Floofbert’s Rules of Order (floofinition) – Reference guide used by animals to provide the orderly conduct of meeting with one another.
In use: “While Floofbert’s Rules of Order is accepted among many animals, especially housepets, a number of animals refuse to embrace the guidance, arguing that it is against the laws of nature. This is especially so among cats, who believe they are chosen by the gods to rule.”
Floofspection (floofinition) – A searching and prolonged examination, often wary, conducted by an animal of a person, object, or another animal.
In use: “The web has many videos of humorous floofspections, with classics being when cats and dogs encounter a banana or cucumber and subsequently floof out.”
Kibble Up (floofinition) – Floof slang (flang) for an animal who stops to eat ravenously while in the middle of another activity.
In use: “The puppy and kitten were battling and chasing, but stopped to kibble up when they veered near the food bowls.”
Floofeopathy Therapy (floofinition) – Alternative medical principles practiced by animals based on theories that animals can detect illnesses and diseases and help other creatures fight their medical issues and recover.
In use: “She, being human, wasn’t familiar with floofeopathy therapy, but a few days before she went to the doctor and discovered she had breast cancer, her stripped tabby and her miniature collie came to her, settled on either side of the affected area, and stared deep into her eyes. They did this whenever she rested, a routine that persisted until the cancer appeared to go into remission.”
Michael Seidel, writer 