Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not
Misfloofievous (floofinition) – irresponsibly playful housepet; a housepet who’s playful in a naughty, teasing way.
In use: “Smart and misfloofievous, the black lab quickly understood the people’s patterns and habits. Being people of habit, they retired to the den to watch television in the evenings. As soon as one went that direction, she raced ahead, found the remote control, picked it up in her and began a game of keep-away. She was always pulling floofnanigans.”
Obfloofiate (floofinition) – to anticipate or prevent and eliminate a housepet’s plans.
In use: “Knowing that as soon as she left that a housepet would be on her food, she obfloofiated their intentions by putting her sandwich into the refrigerator
Today’s theme music comes from the “What the hell was that?” file. It’s a general file in my head. The major category is “What the hell?” Besides the mystified “What the hell was that?” sub-category, there’s “What the hell did he/she just say?”, “What the hell did he/she just do?”, and the ever-popular, “What the hell was I going to do/get/say?”.
The song’s wild musical break began streaming in my mind this morning but I can’t identify a trigger. The song was released in 1966, but I began aware of it later, hearing it on my AM/FM alarm clock a few years later. So different, it immediately went into the “What the hell was that file?” It then took a few years to determine what it was, and hear it fully. Hearing if fully, the Yardbirds and Beach Boys inspirations become clear.
Judge for yourself. Here’s “Psychotic Reaction” by Count Five, in black and white.
Floofal Vortex (floofinition) – a large mass of housepets sleeping or lounging together.
In use: “The large Great Dane sprawled across the sofa. Sleeping in winter sunshine under the window, he soon became part of a floofal vortex as the foster kittens and Corgis slumbered on top of or alongside him.”
Floofturn (floofinition) – a housepet quick turn in which the animal doubles back in one or two steps.
In use: “Pogo was heading for the pet door, but when Sandra opened the refrigerator, Pogo executed a floofturn and jogged to the kitchen.”
Mr Gander rolled into the noisy sports bar, grunting and waving at others while signalling for a PBR. As Gander’s ample weight found a stool, Tilly observed that Gander seemed down.
“The wife.” Gander pointed his eyes at the TV and sampled his beer’s head.
“What ’bout ‘er?”
“Nothin’. I have little complaints ’bout ‘er. They’re so small, you could say they’re shards of complaints.”
“You ever tell ‘er ’bout ’em? Maybe that’d help.”
“Naw, man. If I tell ‘er my complaints ’bout ‘er, she’ll tell me her complaints ’bout me.” Gander sipped his beer. “Who wants to hear that crap?”
Floofhold (floofinition) –
1. A tenuous grasp on a housepet.
2. A housepet’s tenous grip on an object.
3. Delaying an event or an activity due to a housepet’s situation or location.
In use: “He wanted to vacuum the house, but, not wanting to disturb the sleeping cats and dogs, was forced into a floofhold.”
I didn’t see this as a bumper sticker. I saw it on the “Pickles” comic strip and thought it would be an excellent bumper sticker.
Fyck-floof (floofinition) – restless housepet(s)
In use: “The pets were locked in the house because of the severe cold, and were soon fyck-floof, cruisin’, stalkin’, explorin’, and pouncin’ to spill energy. Soon that agitated the others, and I had fyck-floof of all ages in every room.”
Flooftorial (floofinition) – a period of instruction given by one housepet to an individual or very small group of housepets.
In use: “Although he was a large Golden Retriever, after he was introduced to the small black and white orphaned kitten, he began flooftorials, teaching the tiny creature how to eat, drink water, play and clean himself, while comforting him and keeping him warm.”
